


We Met in the Shadows

by QueenRamsia



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Dan and Phil aren't the major character deaths, F/F, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, I mean, Kinda, Language, M/M, Slow Build, Smut, So don't worry, War, but it's still slow, i couldn't do that to yall, i'm impatient, so it's not a very slow build
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-11
Updated: 2016-07-19
Packaged: 2018-06-01 17:11:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 26
Words: 57,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6528715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenRamsia/pseuds/QueenRamsia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan and Phil live in a world where wealth is based on how bright your life is. Literally. Dan has never seen anything in a light source brighter than a candle. This is exactly what the nobles want; they brainwash the people of the shadows and teach them that those in the sunlight are martyrs, protecting the poor with their walls casting darkness over their streets. Phil is a member of one of the most prestigious noble families living in the light, but he longs to feel the chilly embrace of the inky blackness below his balcony. When he escapes his world of wealth and meets Dan, he accidentally sets in motion a rebellion that could destroy his world of light. Will he follow his heart and fight beside Dan, or will the call of wealth and power be too strong? The dark ones' time has come to rise from their world of shadows, but at what cost to the light?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. DAN'S POV

**Author's Note:**

> I will be posting 3 chapters a week!

The match flickered dimly, offering just enough light to illuminate the man's face in front of me. I didn't know if it was the sickly orange glow or the way the flame's shadow danced across his features, but he looked far older than his age. Grime was buried into the faint wrinkles on his forehead and cheeks. Wispy pale hairs hovered around his head like an ironic halo. His flint-grey eyes squinted at the match, calculating, before he gruffly nodded. I waved it out, wrinkling my nose as oily smoke curled into my nostrils. The grease my twin brother Pj rolled it in before I came to the market worked to keep them valuable for multiple lightings, but it left the scent of rot behind. I prayed that the merchant wouldn't smell it and drop their worth. 

"How much for a bushel?" I asked, nodding at a rack of wheat lit by a gritty candle.

"How much do you have?" He responded, his voice like crunching glass. 

I bristled. "Enough to light your whole damn shop on fire if you don't answer my question."

The man gave a dry laugh, unfazed by my threat. I wasn't surprised; this was the darkest street in the district, home to murderers and rapists who would do anything for a glimpse of light, no matter how immoral or unethical. But it also had the best market, selling wares that kept me and my two brothers alive for another day. 

"Alright, kid. Ten for a bushel." 

I glanced sideways at my other brother Chris. The oldest and strongest of our trio, he served as the bodyguard as we traversed the more dangerous streets in search of valuables. Pj's job was to scavenge for matches and candles, which I in turn used to negotiate with merchants. After the death of our parents--on this very street, caused by a man in dire need for a candle that my obnoxiously kind parents would have gladly just given him--our roles became all the more important, so that none of us quite understood how to survive without the other two. 

Chris twitched his shoulders in an action that meant "lower". 

Alright then, let's shoot for six.

I shook my head. "I'll only have four."

The merchant snickered, "Come on, kid, I know that's not true." I gave him an earnest look and he sighed loudly, "Eight."

"Maybe I'll think about five." I said cheekily.

"Six is as low as I'll go. Else you need to scram." 

Bingo.

I swiveled my head to look at Chris. He shrugged, "We can afford that."

We were great actors.

I turned back to the man, "Alright, six it is."

We shook hands, his skin like cold, clammy gravel on mine, and he retrieved one of the bushels of wheat as I counted out six matches. I snatched the wheat from the merchant, dropped the sticks on the gnarled wood counter, and then Chris and I dashed up the street, escaping the darkness that took our parents and threatened to gobble us up next.

We fled through the inky alleys, the eyes of the black markets watching us run. We only entered the dark sectors when our shriveled stomachs deemed it absolutely necessary, and even then Pj watched us leave until we were out of sight, as if we would die like our parents and he would be truly alone in the world of black. 

Now that we had concluded our business, the usual panic set into my bones. The darkness reached out toward me with clawed fingers; figures with long, twisting horns danced in the shadows just out of my peripherals.

I was absolutely, incurably terrified of the dark.

The run home was long and winding; it was a route I’d nearly gotten lost in more than once before, the threat of supernatural death driving out my common sense. Chris had found me, huddled in an alley corner and shivering, hours later. After those few times, he began to accompany me on my trips to the market. He claimed it was to protect me from the merchants, but I knew better. Pj and him were getting sick of having to go out of their way to save their pathetic brother. 

The unlit streetlamps that stuck up out of the ground like bones were the only source of comfort in the impoverished streets, reminding me of the dim candles shining out of the clouded lanterns hanging from the doors of my district. 

Pj met us at the door, offering me a pitying look as I skittered inside, and murmured in our twinspeak, “I’m so sorry.” 

Chris ducked in after me and I stumbled around in the dark until I found the table. I dropped the wheat on it and fell before the fireplace. A single thin, wrinkled root glowed weakly in the hearth, filling the room with the pungent odor of roasted dirt. The orange light of the embers didn’t have the strength to reach the furthest corners of the tiny kitchen, and its heat was only available if you were close enough to burn your face, but it was enough to see Pj’s silhouette lift the wheat and begin to pick out the grains. Without water at the very least, the wheat would be useless. Unless you are Pj, who could make a good enough meal from the burnt bits stuck to the bottom of the oven if he had to. 

“How was the market?” He asked as he dug his dusty fingernails in the wheat.

“Bushel for six matches,” I responded, out of breath from our run. 

“As easy as ever then.” Pj then fell silent, intent on his work.

Chris removed his oily jacket, then shivered and put it back on. I turned back to the meager flame and frowned. “Don’t we have any oil left?”

I felt eyes on the back of my head and turned to find my brothers staring at me. Pj murmured in twinspeak, “I used the last of it to coat those matches. I’m sorry, I didn’t think.”

Chris’s eyebrows furrowed together. He hated it when we used twinspeak but had given up fighting us on it. We’d invented it when we were five and used it often ever since. I think it only irritated him because even though he’d heard it for over a decade, he still couldn’t figure out how to speak it.

Heat rose in my cheeks. It wasn’t their fault I was afraid of the dark. I turned back to the burning root. “Oh.”

I stayed there until the smoke began to hurt my head. I then turned, blinking in the darkness, and found Pj grinding the wheat into a pulp. Chris was in front of the door pulling a wool cap over his head, his heavy jacket still on his shoulders. I called, "Where are you going?"

"Water," he answered gruffly before whirling out the door, slamming it behind him.

Pj gazed at me as he worked at the dry grain. He said, his voice strained, "There are more matches in the cupboard."

“We need to save them,” I murmured, watching his dirt-crusted fingers work.

“You can use one,” he responded, dropping an empty stem at his side.

Like I’m a fucking child. I turned away, “No, it’s fine. It’s not like it’ll get any warmer in here. Do you need me to do something?”

“You could go follow Chris with another pail. We need more than what he took.”

I nodded and pushed myself to my feet, my cold joints aching as I forced them to bend. I might only be eighteen, but the darkness we constantly resided in kept our bones brittle and weak. Rusty bucket in hand, I gathered my courage and set off into the black street. 

I know the sunlight is deadly. I know the nobles that live in its burning light were only protecting us. But even still, I dreamed of moving beyond the Wall and seeing a world without the fear of the darkness, if for just one time. 

The nearest well was a kilometre away and it’s water tasted like metal, but it was cold and refreshing and made good enough bread. Chris was already too far ahead for me to bother finding him; perhaps we’d meet as he made his way back. Instead, I chanted in my head, “Nothing’s there, nothing’s there…”

But then, all of a sudden, there was something there. A bright light shined in my eyes and I stopped, staggering away from it. Something ran into me, causing us both to collapse. My bucket clattered across the cobblestones and white spots darted across my vision as I hit my head on the ground. I sat up, blinking, and glared across at the man that was beginning to sit up, shaking his head. I growled, “What the fuck, mate?”

The man squinted at me before reaching to his side and picking up a short stick. Something clicked and the blinding white light shined in my eyes. I rolled away, concealing my face. Who is this person with the light that threatens to blind me to the darkness? Even now, the street was inkier than before. I hissed, “Turn it off!”

“What?” The man’s voice was soft, lilting.

“Turn it off! Damnit, turn it off!” I shouted. “You’ll get us killed!”

“It’s just a flashlight.”

I didn’t know the meaning of the word, but I instantly hated it. “It’s blinding me. Turn it off or I’ll kill you!”

There was a moment of hesitation before the man said, “Alright, alright, I will. I’m sorry.”

The light clicked off and I rolled over to face him. “Who are you?”

“I’m--uh--” he squirmed.

“You must be from a higher district to have that. What are you doing here?” I demanded.

“No, I’m not! I--I stole it!”

“Stole it?”

“From a higher district. Yep, I stole it.”

I slapped a hand over his mouth. Whoever he was, he was an idiot. “Would you shut up? People will kill you here if they find out you’re a thief from a higher district!”

“Well you haven’t,” he pointed out.

“I’m not like most people here. Now tell me your name or I won’t help you. And by the look of it, you’ll be dead by morning if you don’t get some help.”

His eyes widened. “You have morning here? Is it night now?”

“What are you talking about? It’s the afternoon. Stop talking like a twat and tell me your name!”

“Phil!” He said. “It’s Phil Lester!”

“Now was that so hard?” I stood and offered a hand. “I’m Dan Howell.”

Phil squinted at my hand before taking it. “You’re not going to turn me in?”

“Because you stole a--a flashlight? I’ve stolen far more than that in my lifetime. Now come on.”

“No, not for--nevermind. Where are we going?”

“To get water, what else? Then I’ll take you home and get you some food.” Chris wouldn’t exactly be happy to have a stranger in his home, but I wasn’t about to let this fool die out here.

Phil grabbed my arm as I began to walk away. I stiffened. “What are you doing?”

He whispered, “I can’t see.”

“Are you blind?”

“No, but how can anyone see down here?”

Who was this strange boy, and why couldn’t he see in a lightsource everyone beneath the Walls have lived in their entire lives? Sure, I’m nearly positive he came from a district in more light than this one, but he should be able to see enough to walk.

“Whatever. Just keep up. And let go of my arm; hold my jacket instead. I need both hands.” 

I guided his hand to the back of my coat and he curled his trembling fingers in the coarse leather. In this way, we continued on in silence until we made it to the well. I filled the pail and then cupped my hands and brought a taste of the chemical-infused water to my dry lips. I shuddered at the taste, but it was better than dying from dehydration. I instructed Phil to drink too, but he spat it out once it touched his tongue. “Isn’t there better water somewhere else?”

I stared at him, too amazed to laugh.


	2. PHIL'S POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil live in a world where wealth is based on how bright your life is. Literally. Dan has never seen anything in a light source brighter than a candle. This is exactly what the nobles want; they brainwash the people of the shadows and teach them that those in the sunlight are martyrs, protecting the poor with their walls casting darkness over their streets. Phil is a member of one of the most prestigious noble families living in the light, but he longs to feel the chilly embrace of the inky blackness below his balcony. When he escapes his world of wealth and meets Dan, he accidentally sets in motion a rebellion that could destroy his world of light. Will he follow his heart and fight beside Dan, or will the call of wealth and power be too strong? The dark ones' time has come to rise from their world of shadows, but at what cost to the light?

I blinked as I awoke, bright sunlight filtering through my mesh curtains and piercing my pupils. I rolled over, groaning and rubbing sleep from my eyes. The maid curtseyed as I sat up, a pile of neatly-folded clothes across her arms. I pulled off the gold silk tunic and tugged it over my night-black hair, then grabbed the black skinny jeans and shimmied them up over my butt. Running a hand through my hair, I said curtly, “You can leave now.”

The maid straightened, her flaxen hair bouncing, and marched out of the bright room. I squinted in the light and stretched. Today. I’d escape today.

I moved to my balcony and threw open the doors. It was already excruciatingly hot, though it was only ten o’clock. I leaned over the parapet, gazing longingly into the shadowed city below the iron wall. I could just make out movement, as if the entire Darkland was a breathing body. In reality, there were people moving about in the streets, probably laughing and dancing and relishing in their sunless life. Mother said that they lived a life of misery, but that was the way it had to be. I didn’t believe her. How bad could a life without rude eyes be? I was pale and black-haired in a world of dark skin and blond hair. At least down there, I’d be just like everyone else. 

A soft knock resonated through the room and I turned away from the morning air, shutting the glass balcony doors behind me as I moved to answer the call. I opened the wooden door to find my tutor Jacob standing in the hallway, hands clasped behind his back. He was very old; once-golden hair was now silver and patchy. But he walked with his shoulders back and a soft bounce, as if he was twenty years younger. 

“My lord,” he bowed his head respectfully.

“Jacob.” I ushered him inside, checking the hall for peeping eyes before clicking the door shut.

Jacob turned to face me. He cracked a dark smile. “Are you ready for your trip, sir?”

“More than ready. Do you have the gear?” 

He pulled a pack from his cloak and handed it to me. I ripped it open and counted out a small flashlight, extra batteries, trail mix, a water bottle, hand warmers, gloves, a scarf, and a headlamp. I’d need all of it for where I was going. I wouldn’t be happy until I was as deep in the shadows as possible. I straightened from the pile and crossed to my wardrobe, pulling out a metallic black coat with a fur-lined hood. I didn’t know much about the Shadowland, but I did know that it was constantly cold. I stuffed it in the pack and then slung the bag over my shoulder. Jacob and I stared at each other for a silent moment before he pulled me into a tight embrace. I squeezed my eyes shut, willing myself to strengthen my resolve. Who I would miss here was nothing compared to my need to leave this scorching place. 

Jacob led me out to the balcony and I leaned over, gazing into the abyss that I had prepared to dive into for months. I swung myself over the parapet and tightened the backpack’s straps before beginning the long climb down the ornate wall of the mansion. 

My mother would find my room empty. She’d be confused and sad. My father would be furious. My brother would be at his home with his new wife, living a life of luxury, and do his best to forget his strange pale brother.

I didn’t leave a note. It would devastate my plans to do such a foolish thing. My family would already know where I went; even though they’d never say it, they all knew I wasn’t meant to live in the sun. I was only doing what would give them peace of mind. 

Pulling my mask up over my mouth, I set off through the golden streets towards the towering wall. I felt Jacob’s eyes on my back as I jogged away and another stab of morosity went through my chest. If anything, I’d miss my tutor. 

Few people were out and about yet. Most people slept in here; the only ones up were the city slaves from beneath the Wall. They swept up the litter and dust from the day before, their eyes cast downward. They wouldn’t see me; they couldn’t speak even if they did. When they’re enlisted, their tongues are cut out. Their pale skin gave off a sickly glow in the morning light. A few glanced up at me, but it was only because I didn’t look like any other person from above the Wall. My skin was ivory like theirs; my hair was black as pitch. I was a shadow child surrounded by sunshine, just like them.

the Wall wasn’t too far from my old home. It rose at an extreme angle, casting darkness over the land below. It was massive and iron, simply stark compared to the ornate palaces and mansions it guarded from the sickly people below. Not that they would attack the people in the sun; the only thing they knew about us was that we were martyrs who protected them from the sunlight. What a cruel joke. In reality, we were protecting ourselves from them--from their hungry bellies and insane eyes. 

I gazed up at the Wall; barbed wire and spikes decorated the top, pointing outward toward the shadow. Here was the difficult part. I pulled my mask up further over my face and moved to the guard station. The man inside glared at me. “What are you doing here, shadow man?”

My voice dropped to a raspy level as I said, “I was brought here for service”--that was the technical term for the shadow slaves, “service workers”--“but I failed the tests. I’m being sent home now.”

“A pity,” the guard said dryly. 

He pressed a button and the wide door began to crank open. I nodded thankfully and ducked through. I stopped on the other side and turned, watching the last sliver of sunlight filter through as the door closed behind me. I did it. I was in the Shadowland. 

And yet, a pesky thought in the back of my mind said that it’d been too easy.

Maybe they really did want me gone. 

I shook that thought away. Besides, that was one of the reasons I left in the first place. It shouldn’t bother me now; it couldn’t. Not when I was already here, standing in the darkest street I’d ever been in. I squinted, but it was no use. I couldn’t even see the cobblestones under my feet. 

Pulling out the headlamp, I checked around me for any sound of life. When I found none, I strapped it to my head and clicked it on. Light flooded the street in front of me and I set off, my arms wrapped around myself. A while later, I stopped to tug on my jacket, shuddering. So this is what cold is. Already I felt a pang of misery at the warmth I had left behind, but in an instant I pushed it away. I made my choice, now was the time to follow through. For extra measure, I stuffed the flashlight into my pocket and zipped it shut.

I stalked through the empty alleys, a sense of foreboding creeping into my chest. Where was everyone? The Shadowland was filled with the poor. They should be out striving to survive, not bunkered inside. But when a bitter wind swept my hood back, I understood that maybe the way to survive was to stay where it was warm.

Frost crunched beneath my boots, echoing into the darkness. I twisted my head to and fro, checking for burglars and murderers and every other nightmare we learned dwelt in the shadowed streets. It didn’t help that the headlamp only illuminated a small hole in the suffocating darkness, leaving me blind to everything in my peripherals. 

I had no way of knowing how long I’d been walking; I left all forms of useless technology behind, including my watch. It could still be dawn or night could have fallen. All I knew was to walk away from the Wall, and I turned to gaze back at its murderous spikes once in awhile to be sure that I was still following that objective. 

I turned around a corner and suddenly the dead streets sprung to life. Or, at least they had people. I hesitated, instinctively clicking off the headlamp at the outskirts of the strange civilization. Some people held candles while others lurked in the darkness. Street lamps flickered ominously with weak orange light. This must be the lavish part of the Shadowlands; even still, most people only wore thin cloaks with the cowls pulled up over their faces to protect themselves from the constant chill. I hugged my jacket tighter around myself as the frail people hiding from the meager light took interest in my movement. Their hungry eyes took in my presence, but they didn’t move from their roosts and the panic in my throat ebbed away. I continued through the street, grateful for the light of the street lamps. 

But the light slowly died. At first it was subtle: a few burned out lamps, more shadow dwellers than candle holders, an attitude of secrecy, as if the people here were hiding from the light. Then I moved to the next street and the world was plunged into eternal night. I turned the headlamp back on, shuddering.

Suddenly, something bashed into my temple and my knees buckled. I rolled onto the ground, my head cracking against the cobblestones. As I blinked away purple and green lights, the headlamp was ripped off my head. I grappled in the darkness, adrenaline filling my veins. 

“Help!” I screamed. “Help me, somebody!”

Someone punched my jaw and my head snapped to the side. The metallic taste of blood flooded into my mouth and I touched my lip. A gravelled voice hissed, “See here, mister, I don’t want to do this. But you were kind of asking for it, you know? Probably shouldn’t go flashing your wealth all over the place.”

I was shoved onto my stomach and my backpack was torn from my back, jerking my shoulders back. I grunted in pain and the voice kicked my rib cage. They then disappeared from my side and into the labyrinth of alleys. I sat up, rubbing the back of my head and spitting blood out onto the cursed street.

I was wrong. I don’t belong here.

But there was no possible way for me to return to the land of light. All I could do was continue walking. I stumbled to my feet and pulled the flashlight out of my pocket. So far, the only good thing I’d done here was hold onto it. I switched it on and set off at a jog, desperate to get away from this street.

I continued to run through the winding streets, not caring about direction as long as I was moving away. I had no food or water now; it was just a matter of time before my flashlight was stolen and I was left entirely helpless in this land of savage shadow-dwellers. I was going to get as far away as possible before that happened.

Then, suddenly, my luck changed. Not watching where I was going, I slammed head-first into a man I learned was named Dan Howell. And he had no idea who I was.


	3. DAN'S POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil live in a world where wealth is based on how bright your life is. Literally. Dan has never seen anything in a light source brighter than a candle. This is exactly what the nobles want; they brainwash the people of the shadows and teach them that those in the sunlight are martyrs, protecting the poor with their walls casting darkness over their streets. Phil is a member of one of the most prestigious noble families living in the light, but he longs to feel the chilly embrace of the inky blackness below his balcony. When he escapes his world of wealth and meets Dan, he accidentally sets in motion a rebellion that could destroy his world of light. Will he follow his heart and fight beside Dan, or will the call of wealth and power be too strong? The dark ones' time has come to rise from their world of shadows, but at what cost to the light?

Though my main priority was to get the water back to the house, I couldn’t help but wonder how much wheat I could buy with Phil’s “flashlight”. It gave off a glow that was brighter than anything I’d ever seen, even when I’d traveled to the higher districts. I wondered if he’d failed the service worker test, or if he was caught stealing the light and was kicked out. Hell, I’d probably be able to afford more than wheat with something like that. 

I pushed the idea away. I wasn’t like the people in the blackout districts. I didn’t steal just because it might get me something shiny. I was better than that.

Phil stumbled and staggered along, dragging me to and fro as he clung to my jacket. I gritted my teeth. Definitely a service worker. He was too blind to be anything but someone from the other side of the Wall.

After an eternity, we made it to the run-down shack that I called home. I stopped and turned to Phil. His hands dropped from my jacket as I said, “My brothers won’t exactly be thrilled to have you here.”

“Why are you bringing me here then?” he asked, his eyes wide. 

“I might be cold and hungry and a little desperate, but I’m not a murderer,” I answered before grabbing his hand. He wore thin gloves that were soft in my bare fingers. Whoever he really was, he must have been rich before he came here. 

Phil gazed at me, a bit of terror in his swirling blue eyes. His pupils were huge, taking up almost the entire iris. I turned away and led him to the house, the dusty cracked lantern swaying as I opened the door. 

Though it was never warm, at least you couldn’t see your breath in the kitchen. Phil shifted from foot to foot, watching as I greeted Pj and set the pail down. Pj eyed Phil, but then shrugged and poured some more water into the wheat paste he’d made. Phil’s eyes widened when Pj poured it into a pewter pan and then set it in the rusty oven. 

“Is that supposed to be bread?”

Cue internal face-palm. 

Pj bristled. “Are you supposed to be a food critic?”

Phil blushed, “No, I’m sorry--” 

“And who are you anyway, coming in here and questioning my cooking? You know, not everyone down here can afford a fancy coat and gloves like you apparently can,” Pj snapped.

Phil squirmed, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I come from somewhere where...uh...things are…”

Chris walked into the kitchen. “He comes from beyond the Wall.” He leaned up against the rickety table and squinted at Phil. “Philip Michael Lester, son of one of the most prestigious couple on the Sunshine Council. What the fuck are you doing down here? Aren’t you supposed to be protecting us from the sun?”

My neck almost snapped, I turned to Phil so fast. “What the fuck? Is he right?”

Phil dropped his head as if considering his options. Chris snorted, “Don’t lie to me.”

“You’re right, sir,” Phil mumbled.

“We don’t go by titles here, you twat. My name is Chris. This is my younger brother Pj, and you’ve obviously met his twin Daniel,” he shot me a dark look when he spoke my name, but I was too focused on Phil to respond.

Phil seemed to shrink into the door and I stepped closer. But before I could say anything, he mumbled, “He’s telling the truth.”

“What?” I said.

He raised his head, eyes flashing. “He’s telling the truth. I am heir to the first seat on the Sunshine Council.”

A strange buzz started in my head as I grappled for words. “Why are you down here?”

Phil glared guardedly at me. “Because look at me. I don’t look like someone from the Sunland. I wasn’t accepted up there; I didn’t like it up there! So I came down here.”

I nodded kindly, “Martyrdom isn’t the life everyone can live.”

A short bark of laughter erupted from Phil. “Martyrdom? Please. At least up there we have heat and real food and clean water.”

The room froze. Pj whispered, “What?”

Phil’s eyes widened. “Nothing.”

“It’s nice up there?” Pj’s words were breathy, as if an elephant was sitting on his chest.

The buzzing turned into a ringing that flooded my ears, but I still heard Phil’s next words.

“Well yes,” Phil shrugged. “We have all the money up there. Is it really true that you use light as currency?”

“Yes, you rich prick!” I snapped. “You’re telling me we’re down here dying and you’re up there eating until you’re full and drinking water that isn’t laced with toxic waste? I thought we were down here because we needed to be protected from the sunlight! I thought you were protecting us!”

Chris touched my shoulder. “We all did, Dan.”

Phil pressed himself further against the door. “Look, I’m sorry, but it’s not really my fault.”

“No, it’s not. It’s your parents’ fault.” Fury flashed across my vision in the form of red and white. “It’s their fault, and their parents’ fault, and every parent before all the way up until the building of the Wall.”

Pj rested a hand on my shoulder. His calm voice whispered in our twinspeak, “Dan, calm--”

“No!” I jerked out of his reach. “I am fucking terrified of the dark and here this twat is telling me that I don’t have to live here? That it’s perfectly safe up there? Excuse me if I’m pissed.”

Chris marched forward and grabbed my shoulders, digging his icy fingers into my scratchy coat. “There’s no use making a fuss about it! What are you going to do, travel to the Wall and demand to be let in? They’ll kill you before you can even open your mouth. If you really want to do something, be rational! Nothing will get done if it’s just you against the Sunland.” 

As much as I wanted to strangle Phil and make it somehow fix my living situation, Chris was right. I relaxed my fisted hands, shaking out the stiffness laced in my cold fingers. A long sigh escaped my throat and I turned to Phil. “And now that you’ve been down here for awhile, what do you have to say about this place?”

He stiffened, wide eyes flicking between me and my brothers. The crackle of the weak flame in the hearth and the low groan of the oven couldn’t drown out the silence as he chose his words. “It’s...nice.”

I spoke before I could think. “No it’s not, you twat. It’s dark and cold. We’re so poor that I just bought a bushel of flimsy wheat this morning for six matches.” I knew I was being immature, but I turned away and stormed out of the kitchen. “You should have stayed up there.”


	4. PHIL'S POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil live in a world where wealth is based on how bright your life is. Literally. Dan has never seen anything in a light source brighter than a candle. This is exactly what the nobles want; they brainwash the people of the shadows and teach them that those in the sunlight are martyrs, protecting the poor with their walls casting darkness over their streets. Phil is a member of one of the most prestigious noble families living in the light, but he longs to feel the chilly embrace of the inky blackness below his balcony. When he escapes his world of wealth and meets Dan, he accidentally sets in motion a rebellion that could destroy his world of light. Will he follow his heart and fight beside Dan, or will the call of wealth and power be too strong? The dark ones' time has come to rise from their world of shadows, but at what cost to the light?

I watched Dan leave the tiny kitchen, shoving aside a stained, moth-eaten curtain that divided this room from the next. Pj and Chris gave each other one of those brotherly looks--the ones I never shared with my own, the ones that say something only they understand--before Pj picked up the empty water pails and stacked them together. Chris turned to me. “We don’t have extra room anywhere, but Dan saved you from out there for whatever reason, so I have to trust that we need to keep you around.”

A shudder went down my spine. “Is he angry with me?”

Chris shrugged, moving to help Pj clean the kitchen. “No, he just talks a lot without thinking. He is mad--and has a good reason--but not at you.” He gave a bark of laughter. “If he was, you wouldn’t have to worry about dying out there or anything of the sort ever again.”

I tried to find a jest in his words and failed. Uncomfortable, I shrugged inside my jacket. Pj glanced at me. “I sleep in Chris’s room. You can either sleep in Dan’s or the lounge.”

I caught myself before exclaiming, “You have a lounge?!”

Instead, I murmured, “Should I really go in Dan’s room?”

Chris laughed, low and sharp. “He doesn’t bite that hard, Phil. I think even a sun man like you will be fine.”

I was so used to calling these people “shadow men” without ever thinking that they’d have their own slang terms for us. I blushed, “Okay. Uh, do you want help out here?”

Pj giggled quietly, “With what? This is as clean as it will ever be, and dinner is in the oven.”

At the mention of food, I remember just how hungry I was. My food was stolen before I could have even a piece of it. My stomach released a low growl and the two men snickered. I retreated from the room, my ears burning. The curtain was stiff as hide and slapped dryly when I pushed it aside. Chris called after me, “Second door on the left!”

I squinted in the darkness of the lounge. It wasn’t much: a ratted mat covered the floor and a fireplace not much larger than the one in the kitchen sat against the Wall opposite the curtain. A single couch squatted against the Wall to my right with two wooden chairs pressed together like a loveseat across from it between two doorways. The doors were wooden, that much I could tell, but I desperately hoped my sunburnt eyes grew accustomed to the eternal darkness of the Shadowland soon. I shuffled forward, waving my arms in front of me in search of objects and furniture I couldn’t see in my first glance at the room. There was no fire in the hearth, only embers emitting a strangled glow. The mantle was devoid of decoration, except for a picture frame. Curiosity changed my course and I found myself standing in front of it, squinting until the image became clear. The photograph was grainy and the glass of the frame was dusty and cracked in the lower right corner, but I could see three boys and two adults, male and female. One of the boys was larger than the other two. I moved my nose closer, almost touching it, and made out familiar features in the children. After a minute, I could make out Chris’s nose and angled jaw, though it was laced with baby fat. Pj’s curly hair stuck out of his head like wildfire and his grin stretched across his cheeks. Then, my eyes moved to Dan.

Thank god for puberty. 

I snickered, but sobered once my eyes moved up to look at the two adults. Their mother had dark wavy hair like Dan (when he was a child, that is; now it was straight) and bright green eyes like Pj. Their father’s eyes were a soft brown, not as chocolaty and rich as Dan’s but not as light as Chris’s, but besides that he was a mixture of Chris’s nose, Pj’s jaw, and Dan’s lips. 

The family was sitting on a couch, little Dan and Pj sitting on their parent’s laps and Chris sitting between them. Though they were smiling, they all had dark circles under their eyes and their parents’ cheeks were sunken and colorless. 

“Don’t let that picture fool you,” a voice grumbled from behind me.

I whirled to find myself centimetres away from Dan’s chin. I stumbled back, bumping into the mantle. His hands shot forward, one steadying me and the other catching the picture before it toppled over. I could feel the chill of his long fingers through my jacket and shivered, though I wasn’t sure if it was because of the cold or not.

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled.

Once he was sure I wasn’t going to go tripping over precious family memories, he released my shoulder as if he’d been burned. Maybe that’s why the Wall existed--maybe people in the sunlight were deadly to the shadow people.

Dan ignored me, sliding his gaze to the photograph. “We were cold and hungry and sick even when they were still around. That picture only proves that photographs lie.”

“What do you mean?” I breathed. 

“Look at how happy we all are. Do you know what happened after that picture was taken?” When I shook my head, Dan dipped his head closer to mine. “Mum keeled over and vomited on the floor. She could hardly push me away in time before everything in her stomach was deposited onto the carpet.”

“Was she sick?”

He cracked a humourless grin and backed away from me. “We’re all sick. You sun people are too, you’re just better at hiding it. Yours is a illness of the mind, while we wear our diseases out where everyone can see how the shadows rot the body.”

For the first time, I could get a good look at him with the meager light of the embers in the hearth behind me. Though his deep brown eyes were bright and curious, his cheekbones protruded from his flesh and the bags under his eyes were so purple they were nearly black. Spidery dark blue veins were visible on his translucent eyelids whenever he blinked. 

Is he dying?

He twitched and gave a melancholy smile, as if he heard my thoughts. “Rest assured, sun man, we’re all dying.”

“Please call me my name,” I whispered.

Dan dropped his gaze, his long eyelashes fluttering against his pale cheeks. “You came down here from your lavish palace and expect it to be better than where you came from. There’s a giant fucking wall separating us, Phil. Didn’t you think there was a reason for that?”

“I didn’t think it was this bad,” I said, squirming.

He snorted, “We’re sick down here. That’s why the Wall was put up. We started out sick, the Wall protected the healthy, and now that we’re no longer sick the darkness is rotting our bodies. We might not be diseased, but we’re dying.” He stepped closer. “Do you know how long the average lifespan is of someone down here?”

I doubted even he knew that, for how could you learn something without education? “We learned it was seventy. Don’t act like it’s all bad, ours is eighty.”

Dan laughed, but it lacked humour. “Your schools lie. Ours don’t.”

I couldn’t help it; I exclaimed, “You have schools?”

He scowled and, after a short pause, decided to ignore my question. “Our average lifespan is fifty-five years. Fifty-five. And you thought we had it better down here?” He turned away, grumbling, “Eighty. I can’t even imagine what someone that old would look like.”

I thought of Jacob. “Their faces look like paper.”

Dan whirled, staring at me with wide eyes. I shifted back and frowned at the heat rising in my cheeks. “What? They do.”

The clanging of Pj in the kitchen filled the room as Dan blinked at me. Didn’t he know what paper was? I knew they were poor, but were they really so impoverished that they never even held a sheet of parchment? Come to think of it, there aren’t many trees down here--only a few shriveled bushes--so did they even have the resources for paper? The side of the Wall with sunlight had thin green saplings decorating the curbs and mansion yards often had a section of trees. My own family had six acres of fruit trees behind a four-acre garden. My old bedroom was filled with house plants--I had a bit of an obsession with them. But there were no plants down here, at least none that I’ve seen. How did they eat? How did they get the wheat Pj was making bread with in the kitchen?

Then, after ages of stretched silence, Dan smirked. As I looked on in confusion, his soft, bell-like giggles became loud, bright laughter, bubbling forth from his lips like a fountain. Soon, I couldn’t help but grin ridiculously at him. I still had no idea what was so funny about what I said, but who could resist joining in on something so joyous? It was like every dark thing he told me about his life down here was being flushed down a drain, so that all I could focus on was the way he switched back and forth between doubling over to clutch his stomach and leaning back as he flapped his hands. 

If sunshine--good sunshine, the kind that bathed everything in a warm golden glow but didn’t burn your skin the second you stepped in it--ever had a sound, it was Dan’s laughter.

I realized I’d been staring at him for far too long and snapped my eyes to my feet. Suddenly, cold fingers brushed against my cheek and I started, looking back up to find Dan’s crinkled eyes centimetres from mine. He gasped, his palm still pressed against my skin, “Old people look like paper. Do you ever write on them?”

Before I could pull away from his hand, he dropped it to his side and turned away, shaking his head. “Paper. Heh, they look like paper.”

I crossed my arms indignantly over my chest. “I don’t see what’s so funny about that.”

Dan turned his head back. “Out of all the descriptions you could have given, you gave the texture of their skin. I suppose I find that a little funny.” 

“Why?” I demanded.

He shrugged and I wondered briefly what shade his shoulders were beneath his dark clothing. Were they white as frost? Or did the ink from his shirt seep into his flesh to make his skin dark grey? 

Then again, who really wanted to know that kind of information?

“I take it you’re the kind of person that looks at the world differently than others. I mean, why else would you want to come down here?”

“I told you--”

“You didn’t tell me jack shit, Philip. I don’t think even you know why you really came down here.” 

Who was he to make assumptions about me? I opened my mouth, but he cut me off before I could say a word. “Come with me. I’d imagine you’re tired.”

I followed him quietly to his room. There was no light, but I could tell it was extremely small. There was a shelf in one corner with his clothes folded on top and another adjacent to it with a few books neatly stacked together. I jerked my chin towards them. “You enjoy reading?”

“Chris said I could read them as long as we’d burn them when I’m done. Sometimes Pj brings me a new one,” Dan murmured, walking on ahead of me to sit on his bed. It creaked beneath his weight.

I sat in the middle of the floor at the foot of the bed, pulling my knees to my chest and releasing a breath I’d been holding since I was robbed. My head fell back against the footboard as I fluttered my eyes shut. 

When I opened my eyes, it was still pitch black. I cracked my stiff neck, wondering why my bed was suddenly so uncomfortable. But then I remembered where I was and shot up, squinting around. Suddenly, something shook the footboard behind me. I jolted to my knees, blinking at the bed until I could make out Dan’s figure, tossing and turning in his sheets. I pushed myself to my feet and gazed at him for a moment. He was throwing himself about as if in excruciating pain, his lips curled back to bare his teeth. A sharp gasp echoed through the tiny room and I bent closer, gently grasping his shoulder. I whispered, “Dan? Dan, wake up.”

He bolted upright, grabbing my hand away from him. With his free arm, he lifted a fist. I froze and we stared at each other. His eyes were crazed, fear and anguish glowing inside them. Without thinking, I pulled him against my chest, wrapping my arms around him. He bristled, but I only gripped him tighter. What if he didn’t like hugs? Was I making him uncomfortable? I really didn’t want to be punched in the face, so I guess he’d have to deal with it until he could calm down. 

Slowly, his stiff muscles relaxed beneath me. Then, surprising me and maybe even himself, he buried his face in the crook of my neck and let out a choked sob. I froze. What? “Dan, what’s wrong?”

He pulled away. His cheeks had tear tracks and his forehead glistened with cold sweat. Dan said, his voice barely above a whisper, “I hate the dark. I fucking hate it.” 

I grappled for the right words, but all I could manage was, “Oh.”

A humourless chuckle whooshed out his lips as he rubbed at his cheeks. “‘Oh’? Is that all you have to say?”

I stared at him. The hard exterior seemed to crumble before my eyes as he averted his gaze. “You’re scared of the dark. That’s why you were so mad.”

He nodded, still not meeting my gaze. “You are a shadow man now. You know that, right?”

I found myself nodding before I considered all that meant.

Dan stood, suddenly towering over me. “Then you must fight with us to bring down the Wall.”

the Wall? Bring down the Wall? His words didn’t make sense. You couldn’t bring down the Wall; it was the foundation of our society. The poor and diseased were on one side, the rich and healthy on the other. It wasn’t the greatest organization, but it kept everyone from starting a war.

But then again, Dan and his brothers didn’t deserve the life they lived. They were good people. They were desperate, yes, but who wouldn’t be if your only food source was watery wheat mush shoved in an oven?

Speaking of food, my stomach rumbled.

Not now, though. This was important.

As I searched Dan’s eyes, I found nothing but sincerity. He was as naive to the Sunland as I was to the Shadowland. He didn’t know that the sun burned your skin and made you sick. He didn’t know it blinded you if you looked in it too long. But I didn’t know that the darkness weakened your bones and made them creak and crack when you were a teenager. I didn’t know that a life without light made your shoulders hunch and your immune system fail. I didn’t consider that without the sun, agriculture was impossible. I didn’t know the shadow people honestly believed those on the sunny side of the Wall were martyrs.

If I was born in the shadows--if I had lived it my entire life--I’d demand change.

“Yes, I must. It’s time for a revolution.” I offered a small smile.

Dan beamed at me. “I knew you’d feel the same way. Now let’s go get you some food, I heard that growl a moment ago.”

I blushed, but followed him into the lounge. “How long was I asleep?”

“Well, you missed dinner. Pj was going to bring you something and wake you up, but I told him to let you sleep.”

“Thanks,” I murmured. “What time is it?”

“Middle of the night,” Dan grabbed my wrist before I tripped over the chair. 

“Does that...thing usually happen?”

“I don’t often sleep because of it,” he shrugged and pulled aside the canvas, beckoning me inside the kitchen.

I watched him rummage around, pulling out the bread and tearing off a chunk. He handed it to me before opening a cupboard and taking out a can of peach preserves. As he set it on the table he said, “It’s not much, but it’s food.”

I thanked him silently and slipped onto a chair. He sat across from me, watching me pick at the dry bread. It actually tasted fine and soon I was scarfing the meal down, dunking the bread in the peach syrup and digging out pieces of the fruit with my bare fingers. When I was finished, Dan took the can and dropped it in the sink. I brushed the crumbs into my palm and, after instruction from Dan, tossed them out the door. He explained, “We’re trying to avoid mice invasions.”

On the other side of the Wall, there were mice traps and rat poisons. Down here, crumbs were dumped outside rather than in a rubbish bin. 

When we returned to Dan’s room, he sat down in a chair in the corner. “You can have the bed. I won’t be sleeping anymore tonight.”

“Why not?”

“It’s not worth it.”

I slowly sat down on the bed. He nodded and I rolled over, pulling the blanket over my shoulders. “Goodnight, then.”

“Goodnight, Phil. Sleep well,” he whispered, his voice unmistakably tired.


	5. DAN'S POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil live in a world where wealth is based on how bright your life is. Literally. Dan has never seen anything in a light source brighter than a candle. This is exactly what the nobles want; they brainwash the people of the shadows and teach them that those in the sunlight are martyrs, protecting the poor with their walls casting darkness over their streets. Phil is a member of one of the most prestigious noble families living in the light, but he longs to feel the chilly embrace of the inky blackness below his balcony. When he escapes his world of wealth and meets Dan, he accidentally sets in motion a rebellion that could destroy his world of light. Will he follow his heart and fight beside Dan, or will the call of wealth and power be too strong? The dark ones' time has come to rise from their world of shadows, but at what cost to the light?

I suppose a normal person would be exhausted after only sleeping two hours. But I hadn’t slept more than that in years. 

Phil slept lightly, like a fairy. His face changed with his dreams, but it looked like there were no nightmares in his head. I wondered what that was like; to sleep without terror and to wake without screaming. When morning dawned, I lit the gritty lantern hanging from my ceiling and watched its flickering glow dance across Phil’s porcelain features. He twitched, his eyebrows furrowing, before relaxing again and rolling on his side so he was facing me. I knelt beside him, wondering at how a creature from the sunlight looked like a snowflake. Even the orange glow couldn’t tarnish the canvas of his face. 

Then I realized how creepy I was being and returned to my book. 

A few minutes later, Phil stirred and woke up. I glanced up at him. “Good morning, Phil.”

He smiled sleepily, “Good morning to you too, Dan. Did you come up with any revolutionary plans while you suffered from insomnia?”

“I did, in fact,” I nodded.

People down here were broken, though they would never admit it. They wanted something they didn’t have, they just didn’t know how to get it. They were hungry and sick, but though the cold brittled their bones it also made them strong. Though the darkness made their blood slow it also made them quick and fearless. Apart we were a laughable group of scattered jigsaw pieces. Of course it was easy to keep us down here unless there was need for new service workers; we knew nothing but the oppression. We’d been brainwashed to look at it as heroism, as if those in the light were protecting us from something worse than the bitter shadows. But if we joined together we could destroy the Wall and bask everything in the sunlight’s life-giving glow. 

All they needed was the right push. And I was looking at it.

Phil shifted beneath my heavy gaze. “What?”

“I need you to do something for me.”

The plan had to be done at the perfect time. There were plenty of people off to work in the cancer-inducing power factories, clogging the air with smog that filled your lungs with smoke thick enough to spread on toast. They had to be stopped; the show had to be perfect.

“Move your fucking ass, sun man.” I shoved Phil forward, not hard enough to hurt him, just hard enough to be convincing.

He trudged on in front of me, his jacket held firmly in my fist. With just that one sentence, I already had people turning to look at me. I gently touched Phil’s back and he tilted his head up, as if to look at the Wall kilometres away, and then back down. Only I knew it was a nod. I stiffened and pushed him to the cracked pavement. He collapsed beneath me and I hauled him back up in an instant. I said loudly, “You have a lot of nerve coming down here and showing off your wealth!”

People began to stop. Other began to sneak closer, watching our exchange.

Phil snapped, “I’m sorry you don’t have a flashlight. It’s not my fault you’re all poor.”

Grumbling started up. I brushed my fingers against Phil’s neck--that was far enough. I didn’t want a riot to start and Phil get killed. His eyes flashed and I turned him so he faced the growing crowd. I shouted, “This sun man came down here looking for reprieve from the sunlight. Do you know what he told me?”

A few grimy teenage thieves had pushed their way to the front. One responded, “What’d he say?”

“He says they’re rich up there! Not just with light, but with gold!”

I could hear the questioning whispers. Another teenager called, “Prove it, Dan!”

We lived in a small neighborhood, to say the least.

I yanked the flashlight out of Phil’s front pocket and, after a moment of fumbling, clicked it on. People shrunk away, shielding their eyes from the searing white light. I clicked it back off and put it in my own pocket. If one of the thieves tried to take it, I’d be able to defend it better than Phil. I continued, “They’ve been lying to us! Tell them, Ph--sun man!”

Phil nodded, “It’s true! The sun people take service workers--”

A woman cut him off, “We know that! They’re given a better--”

“They’re slaves!” Phil cried. “They’re malnourished and given the worst jobs. They are sick and treated terribly, as if they were animals.”

A silence fell over the people. I smiled grimly, “My friends, it’s time for a change. It’s time to stop those on the other side from brainwashing and oppressing us. They can’t control us anymore! I’m calling to you for a revolution! Follow me and get food to feed your starving families! Follow me and feel warmth! Follow me and defeat our oppressors!”

I almost feared they’d laugh. But what they did was far worse.

They turned away. 

A man said, “What are we supposed to do, Daniel?”

“You’re supposed to fight!” Phil piped up.

The crowd seemed to stop and turn back like a single unit. The man frowned, “And who are you to tell us what to do, sun man?”

One of the young thieves snarled, “Yeah, fuck you. Let’s see if your blood runs red like ours.”

Shit.

In one fluid motion I pulled my knife out of my pocket and flicked it open. Chris and Pj stepped out of the shadows of the alleys. Chris said calmly, “Come on, boy, don’t talk like that. Our friend here came down to help us. And you all just want to turn away and not take an opportunity for a better life. It’s almost sickening.”

I smiled thankfully and he nodded. The thief said darkly, “You believe your brother too?”

Pj rested a hand on my shoulder. “My brother and I are one blood. You know that’s a sign. Maybe this is what we’re meant to do.”

“But what if it isn’t?” A different man asked.

I shrugged, “We’ve lived down here for as long as any of us can remember. Forgive me, but I think a ‘maybe’ is the best opportunity we’ve had in generations.”

Silence fell over the street. Then, a young woman stepped forward, her wild hair billowing behind her as she moved. 

And then it was like dominos. How quickly you can change the mind of someone who is just desperate enough to do something insane. Of course, there were those who turned and left for work, but they were the old and the sick and those with large families to feed. They couldn’t afford to go to war and frankly we couldn’t afford to have them. 

Phil and I shared a grin as Chris punched his fist into the air, letting out a whoop that was echoed through the crowd.

Somehow, our revolution had begun. 

I pulled aside the wild-haired girl who’d first stepped forward once the horde began to disperse. She was thin like the rest of us, but she held herself with shoulders back and chin tilted up. She introduced herself as Jessica, a thief that prowled the streets of the upper districts. When I questioned this, she just tossed her hair over her shoulder and replied, “I’m far too fabulous to work in a factory, and who are those light-hoggers to keep the matches and lighters up there?”

Then, because I had a strange feeling about this woman, I asked why she stepped forward and why she did it first.

She squirmed, dropping her gaze. When she spoke, her voice had grown small. “My friend was taken beyond the Wall as a service worker.”

I considered touching her shoulder, but she didn’t seem like the type of girl to take too kindly to such actions. Instead, I asked, “What is her name?”

“Becky,” she stiffened as she said it. “Her name was Becky.”

“Is Becky, Jessica. It is Becky. She’s alive and we’re going to find her,” Phil said from behind me.

I frowned, but quickly wiped it off. Phil was a fool to promise such a thing. If what he said about the way the service workers were treated was true, she could have become an empty husk. Becky, whoever she was, could be gone, replaced by a drone that went about her duties silently. She could be broken.

Jessica smiled, “Thanks, sun man. Maybe you aren’t all bad.”

“My name is Phil,” he murmured.

Jessica grinned and turned back to me. “I’d imagine there’s another reason you pulled me aside?”

Ah, yes. The point. I crossed my arms over my chest and stepped closer, lowering my voice. “I want you to be my second in command.”

The surprise that flashed across her face could have been comedic in different circumstances. “Why?”

“Because I have a feeling about you,” I shrugged. “I’m not the wisest person, but following my impulses hasn’t killed me yet.”

After Jessica left us, tugging her hood over her brown curls and jogging up the street to the richer districts with plans to double back to our house when she was finished, Phil leaned over to whisper in my ear, “Dan, you literally just met this girl.” 

I bristled and, for reasons unbeknownst to me, whispered back, “Careful. If you get too close I might do something we’ll regret.”

If I thought before I spoke, I’d have said something like, “Step back” or, “I know what I’m doing, sun man”. But no, I said something and I didn’t even know what it meant. Phil blushed fiercely and backed away, mumbling a lame apology. When he was out of range, huddling between Pj and Chris as they whispered about who knows what, I ran a hand over my face and released a long sigh. 

Maybe Phil was right, but I was going to trust myself over a man I just met yesterday. And Jessica was from the shadows; she lived our struggles and hardships everyday, whereas Phil was thrust into the thick of it and didn’t completely understand our world. He was from the sunlight; he’d never felt the touch of the icy darkness before. 

Once I returned to the group, they fell silent. Chris clapped me on the back, “Good job, little brother.”

I shrugged. “Thanks for helping, Phil.”

He twitched, nodding in response. Chris and Pj began to walk back toward our street a few blocks away. We had staged our act in a busier district with more able-bodied men and women, close enough so that they knew us but far enough so that they wouldn’t sense that Phil wasn’t our prisoner. 

Phil fell into step beside me, hesitating with every step. His wide eyes flicked about before him, searching for obstacles. I silently watched him, marveling that he still couldn’t see. What did I look like to him? Was I just a blob in the darkness? Could he make out features in my face? Did he know my eye color?

He was walking funny. Upon further observation, I caught a slight limp in his airy steps. Dread gripped my chest. If I had injured him, I’d--

I slid my eyes back to the pavement before me. After choosing my words carefully, I murmured, “What did I do? Did I hurt you?”

He stiffened, but then relaxed after a moment’s hesitation. “No.” 

Liar. “It’s a long walk back to the house, remember? Will you be able to make it?”

“I’m not as weak as I seem, Dan.” His voice was laced with venom. 

“I know, Phil,” I whispered.

We continued on in heavy silence. It rang in my ears like a screaming banshee. The darkness around us seemed to press in towards me, as if it were living and breathing and I was in its stomach about to be digested. I subconsciously shifted closer to Phil, as if the sunlight that flowed through his veins would seep through to mine. He didn’t respond to this verbally, but seemed to sense what I needed and reached over to twine his fingers with mine. 

With just that little touch, relief washed the anxiety away. The darkness was still a demonic presence, but if I focused on the feel of Phil’s warm fingers in my cold ones, I could forget the fear it wrought. His fingertips were soft as snowflakes and I worried my calloused hands would tarnish his golden flesh with streaks of scarlet. Images of Phil frowning at the sandpapery feel of my skin plagued the corners of my mind where the dark once resided. With this thought, I held his hand as if it were as fragile as a feather, praying he wouldn’t let go and allow the demons to dance in my brain once again. 

Some kind force in his heart compelled him to squeeze tighter, the heat of his body melting into my frozen appendage. He turned the full power of his soft smile on me and I forgot what I was worried about. I blushed and turned my face away, praying that he wouldn’t catch my moment of weakness. 

After we turned to walk up our street, Chris and Pj far ahead of us, Phil giggled. I started at the sudden break in the quiet. “What?”

He shook his head, “Nothing, nothing. The boys down here are stranger than the ones up there.”

“Not--not all of them,” I stuttered, unsure of how to respond to his remark.

His thumb began to swirl tiny little circles in my hand and above all other thoughts that swirled in my brain, I desperately hoped that strangeness could be a good thing.


	6. PHIL'S POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil live in a world where wealth is based on how bright your life is. Literally. Dan has never seen anything in a light source brighter than a candle. This is exactly what the nobles want; they brainwash the people of the shadows and teach them that those in the sunlight are martyrs, protecting the poor with their walls casting darkness over their streets. Phil is a member of one of the most prestigious noble families living in the light, but he longs to feel the chilly embrace of the inky blackness below his balcony. When he escapes his world of wealth and meets Dan, he accidentally sets in motion a rebellion that could destroy his world of light. Will he follow his heart and fight beside Dan, or will the call of wealth and power be too strong? The dark ones' time has come to rise from their world of shadows, but at what cost to the light?

Dan’s hand embodied the courage I saw flickering in his eyes. They were calloused and rough as tree bark--the hands of a worker, of a warrior, of a man who was forced to survive but not permitted to live--but when he held my pale one, it was as if he were handling precious glass. Even when I squeezed his fingers, hoping he’d give me some sign that this was okay, he still remained obnoxiously careful. I turned my eyes up to look at his face. Though I was still getting used to the darkness, I could clearly see the mix of pained emotions as they played across his face. When he glanced down at me, I offered a reassuring smile. He turned away, but I could almost swear I caught a hint of a dark hue in his cheeks. I spent the next few blocks of the walk switching my gaze from his face to the pavement.

Thoughts of the few boys I dated when I lived on the other side whispered through my skull. I had hoped one of them would make me want to stay up there. Maybe I’d become happy if I found love. Maybe I’d embrace the sunlight instead of shun it. Maybe.

But obviously it didn’t work. They were all either arrogant, flamboyant as a peacock, or straighter than a ruler. The latter was usually a group whose parents would do literally anything to get a say on the Sunshine Council, even if it meant forcing their not-gay son to try and win the first chair heir’s heart. What they didn’t know was that no matter what they did to pull the wool over my eyes, I always found the heteros. Sometimes it was a funny feeling, sometimes they just told me after about a month. One time, I even caught a “boyfriend” strategically removing the clothes off a maid. I found my revenge in the form of a picture sent to his parents and the entire Sunshine Council.

That was the last time I received a heterosexual caller. 

It was also the last suitor I allowed myself, for what better final push than heartbreak? I made plans with Jacob to come down here the next day.

And so here I was. Planning a revolution against my parents and their society with a boy made of snow and storms and sunsets. 

The boys up there were not Dan. They were cowards that spent many hours tanning a day, becoming an unhealthy shade of orange. Dan was a brave grey soldier who was terrified of the dark.

I couldn’t help but giggle at the thought of the two sides meeting, frost-touched faces viewing sun-kissed ones. 

Dan snapped to attention, “What?”

But how could I explain my thoughts? He’d only understand if he experienced both lives as an outsider. “Nothing, nothing,” I mused. “The boys down here are stranger than the ones up there.”

He hesitated before murmuring, “Not all of them.”

I considered explaining further, but that was a door I wasn’t quite ready to open, a room I wasn’t prepared to explore. Instead, I rubbed circles into his hand with my thumb and silently begged him to understand the words I couldn’t speak because I didn’t quite understand them myself. A twinge in my calf caused me to stumble. The ground reared before my eyes, stony and unforgiving. I opened my mouth to gasp, but suddenly I was being jerked into the air. Dan pulled me into his chest, holding me as if I had almost fallen over a cliff. Heat rose in my cheeks as I squirmed out of his grasp. “Sorry, thank you.”

Dan stared at me, his body frozen with his arms still outstretched. I ran a hand through my fringe, shifting my weight off my right ankle as it groaned beneath my weight. Dan’s eyes followed my movement and he croaked, “I’m so sorry.”

I shrugged, “We needed it to be believable.”

“Phil,” Dan said, his tone reminding me of my mum.

“It’s fine, okay?” I dropped his hand and trudged past him.

If I wanted to become a shadow man and dwell in the eternal darkness, I had to become strong like them. Strong like Dan. I couldn’t do that if he fretted over everything. I muttered, so quietly I thought for sure he couldn’t hear me, “We’ve started a war. A twisted ankle is the least of my problems.”

Well if he did hear me, he didn’t respond. We didn’t touch each other for the rest of the walk home; an impenetrable wall seemed to rear up to protect Dan from my presence. His shoulders were hunched forward, as if he was flinching away from a blow. My fingers itched to grip his coat sleeve, anchoring us both to the earth before some higher force drug us away from each other, but I quelled the sensation and drove my fists in my pockets. 

Dan dropped on the couch once we returned, running a hand over his face, but then he and Chris left the house a few minutes afterwards, mumbling something about trading. Pj kept me company for awhile, telling mildly cheery stories from when their parents were alive--making me question everything Dan told me about how awful their lives had been--but eventually pulled on his coat and apologized briefly before slipping out the door. Life still went on even after what happened this morning.

I paced the kitchen, stopping to squint into the darkness to check if my vision was getting any better. I could make out more shapes, but the rough wooden cupboards and counters still needed to be touched to appreciate their knotted texture. Eventually I moved to the lounge and sunk into Dan’s spot on the couch. I shifted around until I had properly melted into the indent his body had left, my head awkwardly resting so I had at least two extra chins and my torso slumped back so that I was sure a lifetime of the position would give someone arthritis in their spine. However, it was extremely comfortable, and I had soon dozed off.

A loud banging startled me out of my stupor. I shook my head, clearing the sleep-induced fog from my brain, before rolling to my feet and shuffling to the kitchen. But when the door rattled with another round of banging, I hesitated. Should I admit someone without permission? Would Dan have told me if I wasn’t supposed to let anyone in?

“Dan Howell!” A stubborn female voice echoed from beyond the door.

I stretched and twisted the handle. Jessica bounded inside, her feral hair floating around her head. She looked around, a dark frown plastered to her face. “Where’s Dan?”

“They’re out,” I responded, sitting at the table.

“All of them? They left you here alone?” Jessica raised her eyebrows.

“What’s so wrong about that?” I snapped.

She shook her head, a humourless smile playing across her lips. “What an interesting tactic. They’re just letting you walk around free? Where’s your leash, sun man?”

I bristled. I never really hated anyone before, but I decided right then and there that I hated Jessica. “I don’t have one; I’m not a prisoner.”

“Then what are you doing down here?” 

“I was looking for a better life.”

Please Dan, come back.

Jessica leaned up against the table, grinning slyly. “So, sun man, what do you think of life down here? Is it better?”

“Why do you think I’m part of the rebellion?”

“It’s not much of a rebellion if our most powerful weapon is a rich sun man. They’re not going to barter with us. We’re going to have to take our liberation by force.”

“I don’t doubt that,” I muttered.

“You say that, but when the time comes, who will you choose? Dan and his ragtag army of sick shadow people, or your family and the wonderful life you had up there?”

I gave her a hard stare. My allegiance was to Dan; I had chosen that yesterday when we began to plan. Would I die for him? I didn’t know; perhaps. That’s a question that must be answered when the moment arises. Jessica smiled coolly, but before she could utter another knife-like word, the door opened and Dan and Chris stepped through. Chris pushed a package into a cupboard and then left the room, offering me a quick smile.

“Ah, Jessica! Good to see you.” Dan nodded her way as he pulled off his jacket. 

“Dan Howell. Your sun pet and I were just having a great conversation.”

“Good to know you’re getting along.” Dan slipped into the chair beside me.

I stared at him silently, waiting for something else. When nothing came and he dove into discussing strategies, I stood and trudged out of the kitchen. The door to Chris and Pj’s room was shut and had a foreboding air about it, so I thought better of disturbing the oldest brother. Instead I went to Dan’s room and picked up a random book from his desk, hoping it wasn’t something like the foundations of calculus, and went back to the lounge. I sunk into the couch, sitting cross-legged, and flipped it open. It was old and the pages were pale yellow in the glow of the meager flame; the paper was brittle and wrinkled, as if it was from an era before the Wall; its cover was dark red with faded gold letters spelling the words “THE HUNGER GAMES”. I snorted when I realized it was about a future dystopia that was over two hundred years old with predictions that couldn’t have been any more wrong. 

“No spoilers.”

Startled, I looked up to find Dan watching me. Blushing fiercely, I slammed the book shut and stuttered, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have just taken it.”

Dan waved my apology away, “It’s fine.”

He sat beside me, furrowing his brows. Self conscious, I asked, “What?”

“You’re in my spot.”

Oh. “I can move.”

“Nah, it’s alright. It’s just weird to see the lounge from a different angle.”

I fiddled with the cover page of the book, flapping it up and down. “Is Jessica still here?”

“No, she left. We figured out what we’re going to do first, and it involves you acting as a representative of the Sunland.”

Part of me--a whiny, loud, insistent part--wondered if that was all I was good for to him. Apparently my thoughts played across my face because Dan suddenly reached out and grabbed my hand. “Are you okay?”

“Not really,” I glanced sideways at him. “Do you really think of me as a pet?”

“What?” He frowned before realization dawned on his face. “Oh God, I didn’t even think--I’m sorry. I should have said something. Did she say anything to you before we got here?”

“Well, yes,” I hesitated. We had bigger things going on than my hurt feelings.

“Phil,” Dan’s voice pulled me out of my thoughts. “I’m going to make sure no one is cruel to you. You might be from the Sunland, but you are your own person. You are more than the life you once lived, and everyone will know that.”

As I looked into his earnest face, I couldn’t help but believe him. He grinned, “Flip to page twenty-two and read to me.”

My eyebrows shot skyward. “Seriously?” 

He gave me a bit of his sweet sunshine laughter and I knew that there was no way I could refuse.

A few hours later, after Pj had returned with a small pocketful of matches, Dan yawned. I stopped reading, glancing up at him. “What time is it?”

He shrugged, “Probably around eleven.”

“We’ve been reading that long?”

He nodded and stood. “Shall we go to bed?”

I obeyed and followed him to the bedroom. “As long as you try to sleep tonight.”

He didn’t respond, only shut the door behind us. I sat down on floor, but Dan shook his head. “Take the bed; I insist. Hospitality and all. I’ll be fine on the floor.”

So, with a hesitant step, I shuffled over to the bed and sat down. Dan rummaged around in one of his drawers and tossed a black sweater and boxers at me. He turned away and I quickly stripped, shuddering in the chill, and yanked on the new clothes. “Thank you.”

He shrugged stiffly and sat down on the carpet. “Goodnight.”

I curled into the duvet and squeezed my eyes shut. “‘Night.”

When I woke up, my eyes had finally become accustomed to the dark. I sat up and grinned, gazing at Dan’s bedroom. He was still fast asleep on the floor, eyebrows furrowed. I bristled, preparing for him to scream, but it didn’t come. Instead, he murmured my name and rolled over. 

What?

I slipped out of the bed, shivering. His bloodshot eyes opened before I could even touch him. The room seemed to glow in a dim light, as if sunlight was filtering in from outside. Dan sat up and everything seemed to slow down. He blinked, his eyelashes brushing against his cheeks. A lazy grin spread across his face and he bent forward, his eyes fluttering shut as he pressed his lips to mine. I closed my eyes as well and tangled my fingers in his hair, smiling against his mouth. 

He pushed me back against the pillows and I vaguely wondered how we managed to get up to the bed. His fingers worked deftly to push my shirt over my head and I shivered at both the chill and the feel of his feverish skin against mine. When he pulled away, I gasped, “Please.”

His laughter echoed through the room. He threw his head back, chortling. Suddenly, though, the it was no longer uncontrollable giggles that were shaking his body.

Dan was shrieking, loud and unearthly. 

My eyelids flew open and I bolted upright, remnants of my dream still flashing through my mind. I squinted; muddled shapes were beginning to becoming clearer, but not as perfect as they were in my subconscious state. I kicked off the duvet and collapsed beside Dan, shaking him awake. He gasped and his hands lashed forward, grabbing my arms. I gently stroked his hair back from his clammy forehead, crooning, “It’s okay, Dan, it wasn’t real.”

His grip on my arms tightened and he blinked, his eyes wide. “But it feels real. Every time, it’s real.”

I considered asking what his nightmare had been about, but thought better of it. Instead, an idea sparked in my mind. “Come here. If you’re comfortable with it, you can sleep up there with me.”

“What?”

“When I was little, I used to suffer from night terrors. My mum would lay with me and I’d be okay.” I shrugged sheepishly, “I might not be your mum, but it’s worth a shot, right?”

Dan stared at me for so long I feared he’d laugh, cruel and foreign, at me. But he didn’t. 

Slowly, he nodded. I helped him stand and we stumbled together to the bed. I tucked him into the duvet before slipping beside him. Hesitantly, I put my arm around him and hugged him half-heartedly before rolling over so my back was pressed to his. His breathing slowed, but I was too wound up to fall asleep just yet. I didn’t want to dream like that about Dan. We’d just met two days ago, I couldn’t start falling for him. Besides, he had plans on overthrowing the society I existed in my entire life. Though I planned to follow him, I didn’t necessarily love the idea of my family dying. In fact, simply thinking about it put the taste of bile in my throat. My feelings for the path he’d chosen were still in turmoil, and I couldn’t let my subconscious add another layer of confusion to the mix. Besides, who knew what he thought of me? Certainly nothing that would cause him to dream about steamy makeout sessions.

Eventually, though, Dan’s deep breaths lulled me back to sleep. This time, I didn’t dream.


	7. DAN'S POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil live in a world where wealth is based on how bright your life is. Literally. Dan has never seen anything in a light source brighter than a candle. This is exactly what the nobles want; they brainwash the people of the shadows and teach them that those in the sunlight are martyrs, protecting the poor with their walls casting darkness over their streets. Phil is a member of one of the most prestigious noble families living in the light, but he longs to feel the chilly embrace of the inky blackness below his balcony. When he escapes his world of wealth and meets Dan, he accidentally sets in motion a rebellion that could destroy his world of light. Will he follow his heart and fight beside Dan, or will the call of wealth and power be too strong? The dark ones' time has come to rise from their world of shadows, but at what cost to the light?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _What?!?!?!?_ A bonus chapter?!?!?!?! 
> 
> It's 1AM so here ya go.  
> Also, just so we're clear, Dan and Phil aren't the reason for the "Major Character Death" warning. But this is about war, so peeps are gon die.

I woke up without the usual cloud of exhaustion and fear hovering over my head. Rolling over, I started when I came face-to-face with Phil. He giggled, his voice sleepy and husky, “Good morning. You slept through the night!”

“That I did,” I nodded. “But I don’t want to get up yet.”

“You need to. Pj already came in to make sure we weren’t dead.”

Heat flushed my cheeks at the thought of my twin brother seeing me sleeping in a bed with Phil. “But I don’t want to.”

“Dan, come on. Who knew sleep would make you like this,” he sighed, rolling his eyes.

“I haven’t had a full night’s sleep in years,” I smiled. “Thank you, Phil.”

He squirmed and sat up. “I didn’t do anything, don’t thank me.”

I didn’t respond, only sat up and kicked myself out from under the blankets. 

My mind forced me to consider the reason behind my ability to sleep. What was it about Phil that made me so relaxed that my fear of darkness and supernatural death disappeared? How did he just walk into my life and brighten it, both literally (that bloody flashlight) and figuratively? Whatever the reason, I knew that I wouldn’t be able to let him go easily.

After we’d dressed, we shuffled into the kitchen and plopped down beside each other at the table. Pj glanced at me questioningly, but I glared at him before he could ask anything. He considered his options before shrugging and handing Phil and I a chunk of bread. I tore off a bite of mine, chewing the dry grain. When I searched for water and came up with nothing, Pj said that he’d needed it to make another loaf. I stood and turned to Phil. “Will you help me go get water?”

Phil shoved the rest of the bread in his mouth, fought off a shudder at the taste, and pushed himself up, offering a nod. We pulled on our jackets and set off into the chilled morning air. It was hard to believe that just yesterday I had taken the first step of starting a revolution. Later, Jessica and I would continue the process by gaining more followers. But for now, I could try to enjoy an early morning walk beside my best friend.

I paused at my mind’s word choice and Phil turned to me. “Everything okay?”

I nodded, “Yeah, sorry.”

Though we only knew each other for a few days, I didn’t find the title of “best friend” to be inaccurate. Phil was different from anyone I’d ever met; he was more than qualified to be number one. Of course Pj and Chris were important to me, but they were my brothers. Phil walked into my life and I was suddenly feeling things I never knew existed. I almost thought about what that could mean, but I pushed it away. Why question things? Let them be and dwell on them later. 

Suddenly, someone ran into me from behind. I stumbled forward and Phil shouted in surprise. My bucket clattered to the cobblestoned street and rolled for a bit before stopping precariously a metre or so away. I whirled, searching for our attackers. Three boys advanced closer, peering at Phil. One spat, “Sun man.”

Another demanded, “Where’s the torch, light fucker? Give it here.”

Phil mumbled, “I don’t have it with me.”

That was a lie. It was in his front pocket. But I’d told him we needed it for our plan. Was he really going to risk his life for the rebellion? 

“Where is it then, sun lover?” The third snarled.

Phil was growing agitated; he shifted from foot to foot, burying his hands in his pockets. I noticed him curl his fist around the flashlight in his pocket. I frowned, “Come on, boys. Leave us alone, would you?”

“Fuck off, Howell,” The first snapped.

Excuse me? Excuse me. No. 

Phil seemed to sense my vibe and let loose a war cry before tearing the flashlight out of his pocket and bludgeoning the second boy in the head with it. The boy staggered, cursing, and the other two sprang into action. 

Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. The other boys lunged at Phil, the third grappling for the light and the first punching Phil in the gut. 

I was moving before I could think, driving my fist into the first boy’s face. He sprang backwards and I kicked the backs of the third boy’s knees before he could react. The boy dropped, cracking his head on the cobbled stones. Phil staggered away as blood pooled beneath the fallen boy’s head.

Time froze.

The other two boys gazed down at their friend.

He wasn’t moving, staring upward with glassy, unseeing eyes.

A metallic scent laced the cold air as dark ribbons weaved across the street from the boy’s head.

Phil gagged.

Bile rose from my stomach, burning the back of my throat.

“Holy shit, mate,” the second boy breathed. He and the other boy took off into the alleys. Phil and I listened to their feet slap against the stones until they faded away. 

I stared at the corpse, mute. 

I killed him.

He was dead. 

Because of me.

Phil suddenly lunged at me and wrapped his arms around my torso, burying his face in my chest. “I’m sorry.”

You’re sorry? I croaked, “Why?”

“I shouldn’t have attacked. I was scared and--”

“You did the right thing,” I said, my voice monotone. “I was impressed.”

We gazed at the boy a moment longer. He didn’t move, but how could he? Perhaps we were just waiting to see if it was really possible, if I had really killed him. I felt obligated to say something. 

“We need to leave him here. If he has family or better friends than those idiots, they’ll want to find him to give him a proper burial.”

I suppose on the other side of the Wall there were laws about murder, but down here there was no law, only moral code. And we understood that death happened. 

Luckily, Phil didn’t say anything. He only nodded and began to walk away. I picked up my bucket and followed him down the dark street, leaving the smell of spilt blood behind us. My hands were trembling; Phil glanced down at them and took one in his. I squeezed it; his touch urged me to continue walking. I dragged one leaden foot after the other, my chest too heavy to allow anything more than shallow breaths. 

Just a few days ago, I thought I was better than those who murdered.

The blood of the boy drowned the street. Waves of dark crimson crashed towards me, preparing to sweep me away into the darkness forever. 

“Dan?” Phil’s voice was overpowered by the roaring tide.

Pain shot through my legs as I collapsed to my hands and knees. Frost and gravel bit into the palms of my hands and my lungs shook with the effort of inhaling. I scrambled away from Phil just in time to vomit away from his shoes. Hands grabbed my shoulders when I was done convulsing and tugged me away from the pool. Phil’s palms were cupping my cheeks as he murmured to me in a foreign language, a language of love and forgiveness and promise. I sobbed so loud it hurt and collapsed against his chest. He wrapped his arms around me, his embrace protecting me from the ocean of blood. Phil stroked my hair and gently shushed me, rocking us back and forth. I slowly began to calm down, but not before I experienced what felt unmistakably like Phil’s lips. Soft, warm breaths whispered from them as they moved from my hair to my temple to my forehead.

With new resolve, I heaved a shaky breath and sat up, wiping at my face. Phil watched me tend to the mess I made before reaching forward and rubbing his thumb under my eye. I said dryly, “You must think I’m nothing but a pathetic cry baby by now.”

Phil froze, his hand still on my face. “Why would you even suggest something like that?”

I fished for the reason behind his offended tone, but found none. Instead, I shrugged. “I’m not usually this emotional.”

His hands gripped the sides of my head, forcing me to look at him. “You are leading a war soon. Give me your tears so you have none left to shed when the sun men want to fill you with fear.”

Who was this boy who knew what to do and exactly how to do it? Some impenetrable force rose in my chest and pushed back the waves of blood. When strength finally returned to my paralyzed legs, I stood and helped Phil to his feet. 

We retrieved water and returned home without further incident. 

***

Jessica sat across from Phil and I in the lounge, arms crossed over her chest. Pj sat on the floor, occasionally poking at the fire in the hearth, and Chris sat in the chair beside Jessica. She tossed her head and leaned forward. “Your plan leaves out the upper districts.”

“Well we have to go up to get to the Wall, right?” I grinned humorlessly, “The way I see it, it’ll be easy to get the upper district populations to follow us if we already have an army. They’ll see our numbers and throw in their own lot.”

She sat back again, nodding. Phil bit his lips before pointing out, “What do I need to do?”

“Stay here,” I said.

Unfortunately, at the same time Chris said, “Go with us.”

 

His words equated to “die before you even get to see the light again.” I shot my older brother a dark look. “That won’t be necessary.”

“Won’t it?” Chris snapped, “Forgive me, Dan, but I don’t see how people will believe you have the heir to the Sunshine Council on our side without undeniable proof.”

Phil had suggested that we kept the...incident...quiet for now, especially with all the plans that needed to be made. I had agreed, though I knew that I needed to own up to it eventually and the longer I pushed it off, the longer it would take to properly recover. But we didn’t need extra stress out in the open. Breaking down a fucking wall was difficult enough to deal with.

The feeling of his embrace echoed in my mind. If I focused, I could sense the shadow of his lips against my forehead. A soft shudder went through me as I remembered the way his voice felt like it was rumbling deep inside of me when he cooed in my ear. As strange as it was, I knew that my insistent need for more of those sensations was somehow right.

Right. Focus.

“Alright,” I nodded. “But he stays with me.”

“That’s--” Jessica began.

“He must be protected at all costs. I would feel more comfortable if that task was mine,” I reasoned.

Jessica bowed her head. “As you wish.”

The plan was simple: Jessica would travel to the Darkland and gather support there; Chris, Pj, and those we’d enlisted on the first day would sabotage and shut down the factories; and Phil and I would go to the markets and sell our cause. At this phase, Pj and Chris’s job was the most critical. Without the factories, the power would eventually go out in the Sunland. The Wall wouldn’t be protected, so we could strike. As soon as I gave the order, our troops would storm the gates and get into the Sunland. The final step was to overthrow the Sunshine Council. Every member must either surrender or be killed. But we didn’t discuss the details of that. Phil looked at his feet when Jessica mentioned it and I quickly changed the subject.

I wasn’t the best revolution leader, I suppose. I was a procrastinator and, at the end of the day, unbelievably lazy. But this was bigger than me, bigger than Phil, bigger than the Shadowland. It was time for everyone to have a better life, for everyone to dwell in both the light and the dark. 

I stood up, stretching my arms over my head. “Well, since everything is ready, we all need to get some rest. Jessica, go home. Sleep, and then travel to the Darkland. Phil and I will follow after we’re done in the markets. Chris, Pj, remember: after the factories are destroyed, find supplies.”

“We understand,” Pj said. 

Jessica stood and shook my hand. “Sleep well, sir. Tomorrow will dawn a new era.” 

I nodded, “Tomorrow will dawn a new era.”

Jessica left, the front door clattering shut behind her. Chris and Pj went to their room for the night, leaving Phil and I alone in the lounge. A wall seemed to have been forged between us, unbeknownst to me. It was as formidable as the Wall between us and the Sunland. 

Phil finally reached forward and took my hand; I let him lead me to the bedroom. Once the door was shut, locking us in a world where it was only us against the solitude of our own minds, he wrapped his arms around me. I buried my face in the crook of his neck and he murmured, “Cry, Dan. Remember what I said: you must cry with me so you can be strong when you must be seen by everyone.”

“How am I supposed to lead a war when I can’t kill a thief without getting sick?” I whispered into his warm skin.

“You couldn’t kill the thief without getting sick because you are kind. You know that he was trying to survive, and he was as desperate as you.” Phil leaned back, gripping my face in his hands. “The Sunlanders are not desperate. They are not hurting and don’t need anything, but have greed for everything. They took sunshine from you, and have left you to rot beneath a wall they constructed to ward off their destiny. Their arrogance will end them, you are just the weapon.”

His words only blackened my heart further. “How can you say such things? They were once your people.”

“They were never my people. I saw through their facade even when they couldn’t.” 

Phil rested his forehead against mine. With every touch, my hollow chest was filled a little. A pesky want entered my thoughts; imaginings of his skin flush with mine, his lips pressing sloppy kisses to my chest and throat, made a dark blush splatter across my cheeks. 

“What are you thinking?”

I blinked in surprise. “What do you mean?”

“I can see you blush now,” Phil said, dropping his hands. “What is it?”

Dare I speak my feelings? But what are my feelings? And was this really the time, when tomorrow we would begin a rebellion?

Then again, when was there ever a better time? We could die in the next few weeks. Why wait?

But I wasn’t just a soldier; I was the leader of the revolution. I had to put those who followed me first. We were fighting for our families and communities and, most of all, ourselves. We wanted to feel sunlight and warmth and wake up to golden rays and not be hungry. I had to give that to my people. So I would wait, or I wouldn’t say it at all. Things would remain the same, as they should. As they must.

For all my worldly experience, I was still eighteen and sometimes I was immature and often times I was reckless. Maybe that’s what fueled my next actions.

Phil stiffened at first when I smashed my mouth against his, but before I could pull away and apologize he twisted his fingers in my hair. He grinned against me and when his tongue brushed against my lips I mewled embarrassingly. 

Even as I screamed at myself for being an idiot, I couldn’t help but feel that I was doing the right thing. I might be young but I knew death was real. I have seen its mark. Phil could die tomorrow in the market once the vendors and customers learn he’s a sun man. I could die for protecting him. The siege could fail, and then we’d all die. We could get to the Sunland palaces and confront the Sunshine Council and then die at the hands of their bodyguards. Phil could trip and fall off the Wall somehow (if anyone could do it, it’d be Phil).

A guttural chuckle echoed from his lips, tickling me. My fingers clung to his nape on their own; his pulse beat strong and fast beneath his skin. His body was warm against mine, as if sunlight coursed through his veins instead of blood. 

I couldn’t come up with a reason to kiss him that wasn’t selfish. I wanted to have him before something happened to tear us apart forever. I wanted to explore the sensations I had never experienced before--curiosity urged me to deepen the kiss. I wanted to know if he would love me back. I wanted to have Phil and never give him to anyone else. I wanted to figure out the cause behind his minty floral scent. And the more his hands traveled across my body, the more I really, really wanted to lead him to the bed and find out what it was like to love a man. 

Not very leaderly of me, I know. But tomorrow was the dawn of a new era, so tonight had to be for us. 

I pushed my hands up under the back of Phil’s shirt and he gasped at their coldness before pressing himself further against me so his entire front was flush with mine. 

Tomorrow I would lead a rebellion and Phil would prove himself to be a loyal Shadowlander. Tonight, though, we would kiss and ignore the pesky thoughts at the back of our heads.

Warmth bloomed in my stomach when he pressed his palms against my abdomen, digging his fingers into the fabric of my shirt. All too soon, he pulled away and rested his forehead against mine, caressing my cheek. 

“What are you thinking?” he asked again.

I swallowed. I was thinking everything and nothing. My brain was buzzed on his sweet scent, making all thoughts hazy. Finally, I answered, “Nothing important. Let’s go to bed.” 

Hand in hand, we stumbled over and burrowed under the duvet. Phil draped his arm over me, my back pressed against his chest. His heartbeat was soft and steady against my spine and its rhythm lured me to sleep. 

***

Phil stepped forward. “I am from the Sunland. All that Dan says about life up there is true.”

I squeezed his hand and pulled him back to my side when the shouts began. 

“Tyrant!” Screamed one.

“You bloody coward!” Bugled another.

When we left that morning, Chris and Pj had hugged us both. I couldn't remember the last time my stoic older brother had shown such emotion and it sent a stab of trepidation through my core. But Pj quelled it with a knowing, telepathic twin smile. His eyes said it would all be okay, and when he said he'd see me later I believed him.

“Who are you to come down here and act like one of us?!” 

More words were lost in the surge of the market’s crowd. Phil didn't cower, though, he only threw back his shoulders and said in an authoritative voice, “I can't help where I was born! If given the opportunity, I can guarantee you all would choose to be bred up beyond the Wall. You are cold and sick and dying down here--”

Someone cut him off, “Thanks to you!”

“Thanks to my ancestors, and yours too!” Phil seemed to be losing energy as he continued, but the crowd grew quiet as he spoke. “But now is no longer the time for blame. Daniel Howell is here and he is ready to lead you to the Wall to take what is rightfully yours.”

I stepped forward, shouting, “The time for justice is here! Will you stand and fight to give your families life? Or will you sit here and let the sun men get away with this for another hundred years?” 

Chris, Pj, and their group of workers would be in the factory by now, setting to work on making it all go boom. I silently wished them luck, but continued speaking as I did.

“In two weeks time, we will march on the Wall. I would appreciate it if everyone came, for no hand will be unused. And not only that, but you will feel the pride of knowing that when my army destroys the Wall, you were in the lines making it all possible. This is your future, this is your survival, this is your land!”

From the war cry my speech evicted, I estimated we'd have at least one thousand people standing with us from the markets.


	8. PHIL'S POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil live in a world where wealth is based on how bright your life is. Literally. Dan has never seen anything in a light source brighter than a candle. This is exactly what the nobles want; they brainwash the people of the shadows and teach them that those in the sunlight are martyrs, protecting the poor with their walls casting darkness over their streets. Phil is a member of one of the most prestigious noble families living in the light, but he longs to feel the chilly embrace of the inky blackness below his balcony. When he escapes his world of wealth and meets Dan, he accidentally sets in motion a rebellion that could destroy his world of light. Will he follow his heart and fight beside Dan, or will the call of wealth and power be too strong? The dark ones' time has come to rise from their world of shadows, but at what cost to the light?

My lips still ached from Dan’s kisses. Or maybe it was just my imagination. Either way, it was difficult to pay attention to the street as Dan and I trekked to the Darklands to meet with Jessica. More than a few times, I slipped and the only thing that stopped me from falling on my butt was Dan’s calloused hand grabbing my arm. It was unbelievably cold and the temperature only dropped as we moved deeper into the lower districts. The knife Dan had given me bounced uncomfortably against my leg in my pocket. It was unnaturally heavy, as if it was taunting me. I couldn't ever use it, it said. I was weak and if the time came, I'd cower behind Dan like the pathetic sun man that I am.

I stumbled and Dan helped me straighten again, but then he snaked his arm around my waist to rest his fingers on my hipbone. I looked at him and, blushing, pressed a kiss to his cheek. He exhaled quickly, as if I'd electrocuted him. I turned my face away, focusing again on the uneven cobblestones beneath my feet. My boots had become scuffed and there was a small tear in the outer layer of the left one, right next to my big toe. Compared to Dan’s they were still nice, but I could feel the Sunland slipping from my blood as I stared at their rough leather. I was getting colder, too, as if the ice of the Shadowland was seeping into my skin. 

Dan said, “I hope I didn't seem too forward.” 

I smirked as the ghost sensations of last night whispered across my skin. “Not at all, Dan.”

“I mean, shit, I didn't even know if you're gay or not, so it was really wrong of me to just assume--” word vomit poured out of Dan’s mouth.

“Shut up, Dan,” I ordered. “Obviously I'm gay. I'm gayer than a rainbow--”

“A what?” 

I hesitated, “I'll show you one when we tear down the Wall. Anyway, yes I'm gay, and I'm very gay for you.” 

Then I realized what I just said and a fiery blush blasted across my cheeks. Dan giggled, “I'm bi for you.” 

“I'd hope so, seeing as you were all over me last night,” I grinned.

Somehow we'd stopped moving. Dan noticed and his smile faded. “We need to keep moving. Darklanders aren't too keen on company.” 

I pushed away the stab of disappointment and followed him along the cracked pavement. 

Jessica was somewhere deep, kilometres away from the markets. My feet were beyond aching by the time we could hear her voice echo off the crumbling buildings. Dan suddenly stopped and pulled me off the street. Before I could ask what he was doing, he kissed me. It was short and rushed, as if he was afraid. “You can't speak here as you did in the market,” he whispered hurriedly. “The people here aren't like us. If we're desperate, then they're insane. You have to let me and Jessica do the talking.”

I nodded and he relaxed a little, stepping back. 

When we rounded the last corner, it was like a switch had been flipped. The street was filled with a huge crowd of people. In my mind I couldn't find a better word than “mob” to describe the seething mass. Dan took my hand and led me around the throng and up the platform to stand beside Jessica. She stopped shouting and turned to Dan. “About time, sir.”

“You know, when you use that tone it doesn't sound like you're being respectful to your authority,” Dan muttered before stepping forward to face the mass.

Part of me wanted to step up beside him so he wouldn't have to be alone, but if I did that it'd show weakness and we would never get the help of these savage people. Dan had to do this by himself. 

He waited until the crowd settled a bit before beginning. “My name is Daniel Howell. Some of you may recognize my name--my parents often came here to give you food and matches. But they died at the hand of a thief in these districts.” His voice had gone breathy, but with renewed resolve he shouted, “My parents helped you survive. Now it is time to both repay them and give yourselves better lives. Jessica here is my second in command and I trust she told you of our plans, so I won't bore you with that again. But I will remind you that though we are from different districts, we are brothers and sisters. Our blood is cold, and that is something we all have in common. We are all starving and dehydrated and desperate. We all lack warm shelter and we all fear for our lives every day.

“But it doesn't have to be this way. We were told that the sun people were protecting us from diseases and death brought only by the sun.” Dan hesitated before crying, “We were lied to! While we starve, they eat until they grow sick enough to puke. They sit naked because they are so warm. They use gold instead of matches to buy what they want, for they needn't worry about their basic survival needs. They take the service workers--our children and siblings we thought were getting a better life--and call them shadow slaves. They live in squalor because though we are all human, they believe we are beneath them! Well I say it's time to give them what's coming! It's time for them to fear us as we feared them! In two weeks we will all meet and prepare to march on the Wall.”

The crowd was roiling now. His words were resonating in their souls, I could see it. I could feel it. Even I was getting swept up in the excitement. Dan’s voice rose with each outburst, so that he was shrieking his last words, “It's time to see if they bleed red like us!” 

Jessica punched her fist in the air, and I followed her, shouting. Our war cry was echoed throughout the crowd and for the first time, I felt hope for our future. 

When we descended from the scaffold after the crowd dispersed, energy still buzzing through the air, I murmured to Dan, “You certainly have a way with words.” 

He shrugged and took my hand. But before we could leave, slow clapping started up behind us. We turned and Jessica practically snarled, “I wondered when you were going to show up.”

A woman with bright blonde hair--the first flaxen hair that I've seen since coming down here-- walked lazily forward. She said, her accent thick, “A way with words indeed, Dan Howell.”

“Who are you?” Dan asked breezily.

The woman bowed deeply, “Louise Pentland at your service.”

Jessica said darkly, “She's the leader of the people down here. Well, more or less.” 

“I don't recall the Darklands having its own government,” Dan said. 

“I speak for my brothers, it's true,” Louise tossed her hair over her shoulder, a trait that Jessica possessed too. “But I would hardly call myself a leader. We have no ruler down here, only a moral code. Pray tell, Dan Howell, how do you plan on controlling my people?”

Dan frowned at her. “I am the leader of the revolt. They'll follow if they wish to win.”

“Oh they'll win, I can promise that,” Louise said. “But might I suggest that we strike a deal?” 

“What sort of deal?” Dan asked warily.

“I would like to be the general of my people. You will get more Darklanders if I lead them, but you will give me the orders first and I will give them to my people.” 

“What do you get out of it?” Jessica snapped.

“A front row seat for the fall of the Wall, of course!” Louise laughed, “Who wouldn't want that?” She quieted for a moment and gazed at me with malice that made my skin crawl. “I don't believe I've ever heard of you before. Who are you?”

I glanced at Dan. His hand discreetly moved to rest over the hilt of the dagger that was sheathed at his belt. He returned my look and I said slowly, “I'm Phil Lester.”

She laughed maniacally, “The Phil Lester? Heir to the Sunshine Council? What are you doing all the way down here, golden boy?”

“I'm fighting for my people,” I responded darkly.

“And who are your people? The Shadowlanders? That's a joke, right?” She snorted.

Dan twined his fingers with mine, his other hand still resting on his dagger. Louise’s keen eyes followed the movement. “Ah, I see. You're fighting because of him. Well let me tell you something, sun man, love won't be enough to win this war. If your relationship is all that's holding us up, Howell, you can count the dark dwellers out.”

“I can assure you that my head is clear, Louise.” Dan said, a quiet threat laced in his words. 

“Whatever you say, Howell,” Louise said.

Jessica snapped, “Are you going to fight or not? I never knew you to be a wimp.”

Louise’s eyes flashed and for a moment I was afraid for Jessica, but she didn't even flinch when Louise said, “And I never knew you to be quick to join a cause willy nilly.” 

They glared at each other and I couldn’t help but think of two lionesses fighting for territory. Jessica hissed, “I want what’s best for everyone. I want to feel the sun on my skin. And most of all, I want Becky back.”

Louise crossed her arms over her chest. “You and I both, Jessica.”

Dan gave my hand a squeeze before letting me go and stepping between the two women. “Listen, Louise, I would really like your help, but whatever is going on here can’t dictate how you follow my orders. I am the leader of this revolution, and I need to know my people will follow me.”

Louise smiled, her eyes squinted like a cat. “Rest assured, Howell, we’ll follow. I swear it on my life.”

After Louise had disappeared into the impenetrable darkness again, Jessica said, “I suppose I should swear an oath of fealty too?”

Dan nodded, “Thanks for reminding me.”

Jessica turned her body so she completely faced Dan. “I, Jessica, swear on my life and the life of my friend Becky to follow you until death.”

“And if I should die?” Dan asked calmly.

The words seeped into my heart like thick oil. Jessica answered, “If you should die, as second in command I swear to lead the army as you would have and uphold your ideals. With or without you, I swear we will win this war.”

Dan nodded and turned to me. “Your turn, Phil.”

I chewed the inside of my cheek. What should I swear? What should I swear on? Would my life suffice? Was it worth enough? I knew we’d kissed, but letting a kiss change things was childish. He probably only did it because he--

Anyway.

My voice came out as a dry whisper. “I swear that as long as I live I will follow you, Dan, into battle. I will do whatever you order. I swear on...on--uh--” 

Dan grabbed my hand. “What’s wrong?”

I became so quiet I was afraid he wouldn’t be able to hear me. “Is my life enough?”

He froze. And then Jessica laughed. “Is your life enough?” she snorted, “Please. You could offer him a strand of your hair and he’d be happy.”

Dan squirmed. “Enough, Jessica. Yes Phil, it’s more than enough.”

I tried to ignore the blush rising in my cheeks. “Then I, Phil Lester, swear on my life to protect and serve you until death do us part.”

Shh--shihtzu. Why did I use wedding vow words? I mean, holy crap, what was I thinking? Jessica doubled over, breaking into another fit of laughter. Dan scratched the back of his head. “Alright then. That works, I guess. Good talk.”

Jessica calmed down, wiping her eyes. “Well I have business to attend to elsewhere. Are we good here?”

Dan nodded, “Yeah. See you tomorrow.”

After we’d parted, Dan and I walked back through the streets toward his district. He hugged himself tightly as we trudged through the frosted alleys, protecting himself from the darkness. I considered touching him, but cowardice stopped me. What if he wanted to fight by himself?

What if he wanted someone to save him, he was just too prideful to ask?

With this new thought, I forced myself to reach toward him and rest my hand on the small of his back. I rubbed small circles in his jacket with my thumb and his steps faltered. “What are you doing?” he asked.

Wasn’t it obvious? “I’m touching you.”

“Why?”

“Why are you questioning it? Do you want me to stop?”

I desperately hoped he’d say no. 

It seemed my luck was up today, for he shook his head. “Nah, you’re okay.”

His cold lips had been rough but gentle against mine. It was as if I had been kissed by Jack Frost. I exhaled, squinting at the cloud of vapor that swirled forth. Dan’s lips had tasted like icy fire.

Dan’s steps slowed until we stopped and I re-experienced the strange, heavenly sensations of his kiss, right there in the middle of the street. And for some God-forsaken reason, I felt a tear prickle my cheek, freezing the moment it left my eye. 

If this was some James Bond movie or something, this is where we’d fling ourselves against the nearest wall and Dan would ravage me. But this was not some James Bond movie, so we returned to the house-- a trek that took far too long as far as my stiffening lower region was concerned--and stumbled into his room. It wasn’t until we were sure we were decently hidden behind closed doors that Dan set about ravaging me. 

**SMUT AHEAD. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.**

Well, I suppose it’d be better to say I ravaged him. The second he yanked off my shirt and pressed a sloppy kiss to my pectoral, something animalistic came over me and I flipped us over so I was on top. He gasped as I slid my hands up under his tunic, pushing it over his head quickly. A shudder ran through his body at the chill of the room and I cupped my hand around his cheek. “Can I...?” I trailed off, assuming he understood what I meant.

“Please,” he mewled. 

Now that I was in control, the beast that had taken over my mind subsided. I gently pulled off his jeans and then fingered the fabric of his boxers. They were cotton and I vaguely wondered where the shadow people got their clothes. Did they make them? Did they buy them from the Sunland? No, I’d know if they did that. 

Okay, Phil, seriously. Focus. Your performance is a little more important than the possible existence of Shadowland department stores. 

Dan reached up sheepishly and caressed my cheek. I turned my head and kissed his palm, earning a soft whimper. With a single tug, I freed him of his underwear and gazed at his naked form in awe. I felt myself grinning and stood up to take off my own jeans and boxers. Dan’s eyes grazed over me as I stood before him, the drafty room chilling my skin. I squirmed and crept forward, nudging his legs apart. My eyes never left his as I bent to press a kiss against his hip. My heart was pounding against his leg and I vaguely wondered if he could feel it. What did he think? Was his heart beating too fast as well? I twisted my head to meet the other side of his pelvis before moving lower to kiss his inner thigh.

Dan's breath hitched. “Fff--fuck, Phil.” 

I felt an evil grin creep up over my face and didn't care to wipe it off as I continued to press my lips against his skin, always close but never quite touching his member. 

“Phil, holy shit,” Dan gasped. “Just get on with it already. Fuck, I never thought you'd be such a tease.”

“And I never thought you'd be such a potty mouth,” I giggled.

But I obliged and, after running my tongue up his length, bobbed my head down over his erection. 

Dan released a strangled moan, but recovered enough to retort, “I’m always a potty mouth. I’m just a little--oh fuck--more so when--” 

He groaned, cutting off his words. I continued to work him closer and closer to the edge. I’d had sex in the Sunland, sure, but none of it was as electrifying as this. He smelled of mint and aftershave (something that I’d seen in the bathroom and never quite cared to ask how he got it) and I slowly grew drunk on his scent. With a soft grunt, he rolled his head back and arched his spine, clenching his legs around my head. He was so beautiful, moaning and sighing and grinding. My jaw almost hurt with how wide I had to open my mouth, but I couldn’t notice it. I was too focused on the way his chest rose and fell in time with my rhythm. 

For the first time in my life, I was becoming turned on without even being touched.


	9. DAN'S POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil live in a world where wealth is based on how bright your life is. Literally. Dan has never seen anything in a light source brighter than a candle. This is exactly what the nobles want; they brainwash the people of the shadows and teach them that those in the sunlight are martyrs, protecting the poor with their walls casting darkness over their streets. Phil is a member of one of the most prestigious noble families living in the light, but he longs to feel the chilly embrace of the inky blackness below his balcony. When he escapes his world of wealth and meets Dan, he accidentally sets in motion a rebellion that could destroy his world of light. Will he follow his heart and fight beside Dan, or will the call of wealth and power be too strong? The dark ones' time has come to rise from their world of shadows, but at what cost to the light?

Fucking hell. 

Phil’s lips were soft but firm and with each bob of his head a thousand tiny explosions went off in my brain. I was almost embarrassed at how quickly I hardened to the point of throbbing, but I was too busy trying to muffle myself so-- if my brothers returned-- they wouldn’t hear to really care. 

I tried to hold off, relishing the sensation of Phil’s mouth on my pulsing member, but eventually I couldn’t do it anymore. Either I get him off me right NOW or I was going to explode. I tugged at Phil’s hair and he lifted his head, crawling up to kiss my navel. With a relieved groan, I came. All over Phil’s chest. 

“Sorry,” I panted, reeling from the jolt that had just gone through my cock.

He scooted up beside me, watching my chest heave. “For what?”

For coming all over you like a fucking uncontrollable teenager. “Do you want to go clean up?”

He sighed contently and slid his arms around me. “No, that can wait. I just want to hold you right now.”

**SMUT IS OVER. YOU CAN COME BACK NOW.**

After my heart stopped racing and my breathing slowed, Phil slid out of bed and cleaned off his chest. Though my eyelids were heavy with exhaustion, I kept them wide open, watching him move, to make sure he wouldn’t disappear. To make sure he was real and palpable. The darkness had taken his place under the duvet and its fingers protruded claws that threatened to strike me down. It wasn’t until Phil returned to my side, curling his naked body around mine, that I was able to shut my eyes. 

When his breathing deepened and I was sure he was asleep, I murmured into the eternal night, “I love you, Phil.”

His grip on me tightened and I couldn’t help but smile. Where had he come from? Earth couldn’t have possibly produced such a specimen. 

***

“Guys, you need to get--OH MY GOD ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!” 

I jolted up, shaking the fog of sleep out of my head. Pj’s arm was thrown over his face as if a flashlight had shined in his eyes. Phil sat up slowly, stretching lazily and looking everywhere but at my twin. Fire burned in my face. “Hey, Peej,” I mumbled. “Good morning.”

“Maybe for you!” he cried. “I’m knocking from now on!”

“Please do,” Phil chuckled sheepishly, kneading his fingers into my bare back. 

“Gah!” Pj shuddered and whirled out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

I could just barely hear Pj say to Chris in the lounge, “Do NOT go in there!”

Chris’s loud laughter echoed through the house. A draft went through my bedroom and I couldn’t tell if it was the cold or the fact that I’d have to face my brothers in a few minutes that made me shudder. 

Phil pulled me down against his chest. His skin was chilled, but there was a strange warmth that radiated from somewhere deeper within him. “Lay back down for awhile,” he purred. 

It definitely wasn’t the cold or my brothers that made me tremble now. The fresh memory of the euphoria I had experienced last night was still in the front of my brain. Phil’s skin, so pale that it almost glowed against the dark backdrop, pressed against mine with nothing between us but atoms. His scent, like an orchard the hour after a storm, like dirt and fruit and flowers, permeated my nose and I hoped I would never forget it. 

I twisted my head to bury my face in his neck. “What’s going on with you? Where’s the Phil who wants me to get up and be responsible?”

“I’ve never asked you to be responsible,” he said, his throat vibrating against my cheek.

“That’s not the point,” I mumbled.

He ran his fingers through my hair gently. “What do you mean?” He giggled breathily, “Did you think I’d bottom?”

I sat up and turned to bend over him. “Well, kind of!”

He frowned. “Did I go too far?”

There was my gentle Phil. I must admit, though, I enjoyed the idea of having his dominant side reserved for the cheeky moments we shared. If there were to be more than one, that is. 

“Of course not, you spork,” I grumbled. “You just took me by surprise.” 

His odd eyes twinkled and I bent down and kissed him. 

Suddenly, there was a loud knock at the door. Chris shouted, “Stop fucking around and get out here!”

I sighed and rolled over onto my back. Phil twisted onto his side and traced his fingers along the contours of my chest. “Shall we?”

“I don’t want to,” I muttered.

Phil rolled out from under the duvet, hissed as the icy air touched his bare skin, and trudged over to the drawer. 

Once we were properly clothed and around, Phil took my hand and led me to the door. I hesitated before opening it, though. What would Chris say? Would Pj ever look at me the same way again? 

“That was some fast morning sex,” Chris snickered as we emerged from the bedroom.

Phil squirmed beside me. “We didn’t--I mean, uh--”

Why did it seem like I was now more tuned in to Phil than ever before? His eyelids fluttered when he was embarrassed and his tongue poked out between his teeth when he grinned. 

“How did it go yesterday?” I asked. 

Chris grinned and I knew the outcome before he even spoke. “We did it. The factories are down.”

I could feel Phil’s confused glance, as if he wondered why I had so abruptly changed the subject when that wasn’t in my nature at all, but I ignored it. “See,” I shrugged. “That is a perfect excuse for stripping down and--”

Phil slapped a hand over my mouth so hard it almost stung. I laughed against his palm and Chris shook his head. “Thanks, Phil. I really didn’t want to hear the tale of how my little brother became a man.”

“Believe me, I didn’t want you to either,” Phil muttered.

Chris stood and made his way to the kitchen, humming as he moved. I stuck my tongue out, but Phil only tightened his grip. “By now I think saliva isn’t the most unsanitary of your juices I’ve had on my skin.”

Barf. I jerked away, laughing. “That’s disgusting.”

“But true,” he pointed out. “What are we doing today?”

I pursed my lips. Jessica and Louise were going to meet us in the market to estimate troop numbers, but that wasn’t until this afternoon. “I wouldn’t be opposed to--”

“I’m going to stop you before you even say it because I’m not doing that right now after the conversation we just had with your brother.” Phil snapped, a grin plastered to his face.

“You don’t even know what I was going to say!” I cried.

“Dan, I know.”

I considered pushing the subject, but I wasn’t that pathetic. He said no, so I’d wait. 

Twenty minutes later, we were closing the door behind us and setting off down the street hand in hand. Phil’s stomach growled quietly, not satisfied by the hunk of bread Pj gave him, but he pretended not to notice. We trekked through the silent streets, Phil periodically glancing my way questioningly. I finally sighed after the fourth prolonged stare. “We’re not going anywhere awesome right now. Save your excitement for later.”

“I’m still curious,” he admitted. 

His hand was slowly thawing mine, but my free one remained a frozen block. I slapped it against my leg halfheartedly, though I knew from a lifetime of numb fingers and toes that it wouldn’t do any good. But Phil still managed to retain some degree of warmth that radiated from him like an oven, and I couldn’t help but wonder if the cold came from something deeper. Something molecular, or even further than that, something cosmic. A cold star somehow collided with a hot one, and the fragments of the first became me and the latter became Phil. Maybe I was born to need his warmth.

We stopped when the factories were in sight. They squatted, giant ageless behemoths that fed on our desperation, in a valley. The road Phil and I stood on led down a rocky hill to their cold iron walls.

The factories were the sun palaces of our land, turned black with soot and chemicals. No one could escape working in their prison-like buildings without breaking a moral code or dooming their family. Back when we were good citizens, Chris trained to be an engineer. Pj and I were too young--for all their faults, the sun men won’t let those under thirteen work--so we could only see the life in Chris’s eyes dim without experiencing why it happened.

Then we were enlisted.

“The overseers didn’t care about our lives,” I murmured into the silent morning air. “They only cared if the work was done.”

“You worked here?”

“For a time,” I admitted.

“What happened?” Phil’s voice wasn’t even loud enough to be a whisper.

So many things happened, my love. Images of blue sparks electrifying the air flashed through my mind. Seared skin, the pungent scent of burning flesh, long nights of sitting up and listening to Chris, my impenetrable older brother, sob into his pillow to try and hide the sound, were vivid memories. Pj--a frail child and made even weaker by the grueling work of the factories--still screamed in my nightmares. “I couldn’t protect my family. Pj was sickly anyway, and you know the rules,” I finally said. “If one can’t handle the work, then the entire immediate family is banned from the factories.” I choked on a bark of humourless laughter, “Which I never understood. I guess they just didn’t want the guilty conscious if one of us were to die under their supervision.”

Phil gazed at me a moment longer before turning back to the smoldering remains of the factories. “I wish you could have watched them burn.”

Then I was on the ground, doubled over and sobbing disgustingly. Phil knelt beside me, covering me with his body like a blanket. His heartbeat was gentle against my shoulder blade and it slowly calmed me down. Phil rocked us back so he was sitting cross-legged and I was curled in his lap. I whispered, “Fuck them. Fuck them all.”

Phil stroked my hair as I spat profanities into the bitter wind. 

When I had recovered, Phil helped me stand and we clambered down the rutted road to the remains of the buildings. Standing amongst the rubble, a new thought occurred to me. At the same time, Phil voiced it. 

“How many died?”

“I’m sure nearly everyone who wasn’t a rebel.” I bent to pick up a piece of melted plastic. “I imagine each factory only took one match. I remember coal dust coated everything. One spark and the whole thing would go up in flames.”

“Cost effective, then,” Phil murmured.

We stood there a moment longer, but I couldn’t quite remember what I wanted to do once we were here and so we finally turned and trudged back up the hill.

How was Phil so strong and all I could do was sob? He should be the leader, not me. He looked upon everything that should make him cry with nothing more than gentle contempt. He squared his shoulders and gazed at the impending doom of his old home with courage that I wish I had. 

I reached over and brushed my fingers against his. He took my hand and never looked back at the demolished buildings behind us.

But I turned back to glance one last time at the place that destroyed my family. 

Blood. Fire. Screams.

How did we get back home?

Phil offered to let me take a nap and wake me once it was time to go, but I declined. “I don’t want to run from it,” I said. “I want to face it and kill it.”

He pursed his lips, but didn’t say anything. I wondered briefly if it was my health he feared for, or what I would do once I was on the other side of the Wall.

I guess it didn’t matter.

We sat in the lounge, staring at nothing and everything. Chris and Pj were out somewhere--maybe scavenging--and the house was eerily quiet. The only sound was Phil’s breathing. He lay with his head on my chest, arms wrapped around my middle, as if I could somehow protect him from whatever nightmares he had. Did he even have bad dreams? Or did the sunshine in his blood purge his subconscious before he went to sleep? 

I closed my eyes, surrendering to the weight of his body on mine. His flowery scent permeated the air, but it was gentle like him, as if his scent somehow came from his soul. 

“Phil,” I whispered, then instantly wished I hadn’t. The perfect silence of the lounge was shattered, all because of my pitchy voice. 

He stirred against me. “Yes, Dan?”

I chewed the inside of my cheek. What did I want to say? Of course I knew, I just couldn’t quite figure out how to get my leaden tongue to force out the words. Instead, I said, “Thank you.”

Phil smiled softly and moved to rest against my chest again. I wrapped my arms around his lax torso and buried my face in his hair. It was difficult to remember my fear of the dark when he was muddling my brain.

Jessica and Louise were already in the market when Phil and I arrived. 

“What’d we miss?” I asked.

“Nothing really,” Jessica responded. 

“Haven’t quite started yet, and we’d need you for that anyway,” Louise added.

“Well we're here now,” I said. “Let's go.”

I straightened, swiveling my head to find a place to stand. A flicker of movement caught my eye and when I turned to look at it, I couldn't help grinning. The merchant I had bartered with the morning I met Phil was beckoning me closer. When I neared him, he hollered, “Stand up here, Howell. And count me in, obviously.”

I clapped him on the shoulder, “Thank you, friend.”

He nodded gruffly and stepped back into the shadow of his shop as I pulled myself up onto his table. I cleared my throat, hesitated but a moment, and then shouted, “People of the Shadowland!”

Not that I really needed to say that, as the second I climbed up I was already drawing a crowd of stirring, energized people. "Who will fight with me?" I demanded. “Who will pave the way to their descendants’ future with the blood of those who would oppress them?” 

In no time, people were lining up and Jessica and Louise were tying crimson bands to their arms. I personally drew our symbol--decided previously by Jessica, Louise, Phil, my brothers, and I--on their foreheads in staining ink. My thumb would be scarlet for weeks to come, but that was okay. 

The symbol had to be simple. I would have to draw it on many people’s foreheads and it had to be done quickly. It had to mean something, not just pulled out of thin air. And it had to unify us all.

What we decided on was a drawing that covered a factory wall before it burned down. In a way, it was the first time any shadow person ever dared to oppose the Sunland. It was burned into the iron in the night and, since it was on the wall, there was no way to remove it. So it was left, but not before many people were tortured to find out who did it. In the end, though, no one spilled. A jagged curve that looked like the letter C with two vertical dots in the open end finished off with a vertical line next to them was forever imprinted into the Wall. The burned iron became crimson. Hence our colour choice. 

My arm ached after a few hours and Phil offered to help me. I hesitated, but what better way was there to show Phil was a part of this than to have him brand soldiers? I gave him a pot of the ink and he directed some of the crowd to him. They looked to me first, but then Phil turned to me and inclined his head. Once I branded him, his skin soft beneath my fingertips as I drew on him, people moved to him. With his help, and Louise and Jessica moving quickly with the bands, we were done by nightfall. 

The people dispersed, young ones showing off their forehead tattoos to each other giddily, and I shook out my wrist. Phil brought his hands up and massaged circles into my neck and shoulders. He then kissed me softly and my eyelids fluttered shut. 

“I assume you want me to see about getting weapons,” Louise said, cutting us off.

I slowly pulled away from Phil, lingering against his sweet lips for as long as possible, before saying, “Yes. I suspect that won’t be too difficult for the Darklanders.”

She nodded curtly in response and disappeared into the shadows. I watched her go, pulling Phil against my chest. I loved how he was just shorter than me by a few centimetres. He tucked his head under my chin. His breath whispered against my skin and I couldn’t help tightening my grip on him. 

“Hey,” Jessica interrupted. “We’re done for awhile, right? So go take this and deal with it behind closed doors, would you?”

I laughed, “Alright, alright.”

Phil and I bid Jessica farewell and escaped back to our district. 

It seemed Phil was following my thought process because the second we collapsed in our room, his mouth was on mine. I sighed against him, but it turned into a yawn. Shit.

He sat up and smiled. “Why don’t you go to bed?”

“I am in bed,” I pointed out.

“You know what I mean.”

I rubbed his arms lazily. Sleep made my eyelids heavy, but I wasn’t about to give in yet. “But then I won’t be with you.”

“I’m right here, Dan,” he said.

“Where?” I teased.

He sighed loudly and fell down beside me. “Go to sleep.”

“I don’t like sleeping with clothes on,” I said.

“Then take them off. Bloody hell, Dan, stop being difficult.”

“I can’t help it,” I shrugged, rolling onto the floor to shimmy out of my shirt.

Nailed it. Phil’s eyes followed my painstakingly slow movements as I unbuttoned my jeans and tugged them down so I was left only in my pants. I shuddered in the chilly air, but it was worth it to see the pucker of Phil’s lips as he watched my show. I tossed the jeans over my shoulder and crawled back beside him. “Your turn.”

“Why are you like this?” He gasped.

“Because,” I shrugged.


	10. PHIL'S POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil live in a world where wealth is based on how bright your life is. Literally. Dan has never seen anything in a light source brighter than a candle. This is exactly what the nobles want; they brainwash the people of the shadows and teach them that those in the sunlight are martyrs, protecting the poor with their walls casting darkness over their streets. Phil is a member of one of the most prestigious noble families living in the light, but he longs to feel the chilly embrace of the inky blackness below his balcony. When he escapes his world of wealth and meets Dan, he accidentally sets in motion a rebellion that could destroy his world of light. Will he follow his heart and fight beside Dan, or will the call of wealth and power be too strong? The dark ones' time has come to rise from their world of shadows, but at what cost to the light?

“Because,” Dan said, and was it just me or did his voice drop an octave? “I love you.”

Oh fuck you, Dan. I groaned, trying to push down the heat that was roiling inside my belly. “Yeah?”

Why was my voice so breathy? It wasn’t like I hadn’t seen Dan naked before.

Dan. His soft pale skin. His traces of muscle. His hair, chocolatey brown and plastered to his forehead. The way his hips rocked against me, against my mouth--

Fuck you, Dan.

“Yeah, I do,” he said, his confidence wavering in his voice. 

A strange, childish thrill went through me. “Luckily I love you too.”

He relaxed, easing back into his playful demeanor. I smirked to myself. If he wanted to play the game, he’d find out what an athlete I am. He whispered, “That’s good.”

Okay, so he’d made me flustered. Point for Dan. But I wasn’t going to go to sleep with an unattended erection if he wasn’t. 

He reached out to touch me, but I hopped up. He sat up, watching my face warily. I pulled my shirt over my head and he scooted to the edge, leaning forward. I grinned and unbuttoned my jeans, making sure he could see the growing bulge in my pants. His eyes followed my fingers as they worked at my zipper. 

Is it just me or are you breathing heavier, Daniel Howell?

I giggled and yanked off the rest of my clothes, boxers and all. Dan gasped softly, eyes widening. I smirked and pushed him back to his side of the bed, crawling under the duvet.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Dan hissed.

I hummed innocently and tugged him to my side beneath the duvet, making sure my lower region was pressed against his butt. 

“Don’t do this to me,” Dan begged.

“Do what?” I rolled my hips into him nonchalantly, even though I had to repress the gasp that threatened to escape. 

“Fuck you, Phil,” he panted.

Don’t you wish you could. I didn’t respond, only nuzzled tighter against his bare shoulder blades. He whined, “I can’t sleep like this!”

“Try,” I murmured.

After a bit of grumbling, he did somehow manage to fall asleep. I sighed and loosened my grip before scooting out from under the blanket. Pulling my clothes back on, I checked to be sure Dan was asleep before slipping out of the room.

“Ither?” Pj asked, not breaking his concentration on whatever he was working on.

“Huh?” 

Pj looked up when I hopped into the island stool, wiping his dusty hands off on his pants. “Oh, it’s you. I thought you were Dan. Hungry?”

I shook my head, though my stomach had been echoing for days. 

“Then why are you here?”

Pj’s voice was soft, as if he grew up dispelling arguments. When I didn't answer right away, he huffed and turned back to the stove. Water was boiling in the rusted pan before him and he poked at it with a spoon. Something rolled around in the boiling liquid and Pj stabbed at it. “If you won't talk, then I will.”

I blinked, startled. But before I could respond, Pj’s voice grew. Curiously, though, it never lost its calming quality. 

“Dan is not the right person to lead this revolution,” Pj said, each word spat as if he had to force it out. “And you aren't the right person to be at his side when he does it.” 

I hesitated. “Why do you say that?”

“He should have chosen Jessica, or even Louise,” he said.

“Why? Because they’re girls?” I bristled. I thought I had left prejudice behind in the Sunland.

“Of course not, you idiot,” Pj snapped. “Jessica and Louise are Shadowlanders. And besides that, he’s my twin brother. I don’t want to see him hurt in this war he’s started.”

“Then why didn’t you stop him?” I growled.

“Because I want change! I want change, I just don’t want my family to be the cause of it. I can’t handle any more deaths, Phil!” Pj hissed. “My parents are gone. I can’t lose my twin too.”

“You won’t, Pj,” I promised.

“You can’t be certain,” he pointed out, shoulders hunched in defeat.

“I won’t let him die, I swear it,” I whispered. “I love your brother, Pj.”

“But would you die for him, Phil?”

I paused, and it was just enough for Pj to sigh and turn away. “You better go back with him. I don’t want him waking up from his night terrors anymore. It’s been nice to get a full night’s sleep.”

“Why aren’t you in bed?” I asked.

“Because I have become the food provider of the family, which means sometimes I have to be up late. Now get out of here,” he ordered.

I obeyed quietly, skulking into Dan’s bedroom. 

Maybe the sun was meant to shine on the Shadowland. But maybe I wasn’t meant to shine on Dan. 

But then I shut the door behind me and gazed at Dan’s sleeping face. His eyelashes brushed his cheeks when his face was relaxed. And when he shifted, his soft chapped lips caught my attention. 

If I wasn’t born to love this man, then I’d rather die than go on living without him. 

I stripped down again, this time leaving on my boxers, and curled myself around Dan’s sleeping form. Eventually, his soft breathing lured me to sleep.

Dan was too busy the next few days to pay me much mind. On top of going to the markets with Chris, he met with Jessica regularly to discuss battle strategies. I kept myself busy with helping Pj. He never brought up our conversation from that night, and I was happy to join his vow of silence. 

I hadn’t seen Louise since the branding day. She had slipped back to the dark districts and I wondered if she would ever emerge again. 

The door swung open and I snapped my head up from the bowl in front of me. Dan stepped closer and quickly kissed my cheek before disappearing into the lounge. Chris dropped a bushel of wheat and a few beets on the counter. I had noticed that the Shadowland diet consisted mostly of grains and root vegetables. I hadn’t even seen a fruit since I came down here. 

Pj nodded at the beets and I dug a knife out of the drawer, then set to work slicing them into little chunks. When I was finished, Pj sent me out to get water. 

I walked along the quiet street, staring absently at the fraying cuffs of my gloves. Suddenly, I tripped forward and fell, cracking my knee on the cobblestones. I hissed in a breath. My knee burned, but when I stood it didn’t buckle. Thank God, I thought.

A soft giggle echoed through the darkness. I whirled around, searching for the source.

“You fell,” a small voice chirped.

I shifted, still searching for the owner of the creepy voice. “Who’re you?”

A little girl stepped into my field of sight. She giggled again, skipping towards me. “You fell, and you’re the sun man! Sun men fall!”

She found this extremely funny and burst into a new fit of laughter. I squirmed uncomfortably. Voices in the dark are weird enough. Voices owned by little girls who laugh at pain were terrifying. “What’s your name?” I asked.

“Darcy, Darcy!” she sing-songed. “My name is Darcy and your name is...well, I’m not sure. But you’re the sun man!”

I contemplated my options and decided that talking to a child, even a strange one, couldn’t hurt me too bad. As long as I returned with the water in a reasonable amount of time, that is. “My name is Phil. What are you doing out here all on your own, Darcy?”

“I’m not alone!” Darcy squealed. “Can’t you see? My friends are all around!”

My eyes flicked to the alleys. “Where?”

“The shadows, sun man!” she clapped her small hands. “The shadows are my bestest friends! Who is your bestest friend, sun man?”

I chewed my lip. “I guess my best friend is Dan. Do you know Dan?”

“I know of Dan. Dan Howell. My mama says he’s going to take us to the Sunland! What’s the sun like, sun man?” 

I ignored her question and switched my bucket to my other hand. Darcy’s intelligent eyes followed the movement. She couldn’t have been older than five or six, but there was something otherworldly and ageless about her demeanor. Suddenly, she hopped forward and grabbed onto my jacket. “Sun man, sun man, what do you see? I see a bright bad man in front of me!” she howled with laughter and let go. “Dance with me, sun man! Dance with Darcy!”

Did she even have parents? Or did the shadows she referred to as friends raise her? Such an impish creature as her couldn’t have been brought up by humans.

“I have to go back with my friends now. Bye bye, sun man!” Darcy waved and then ran off.

I quickly shuffled away. I got the water and returned home without further incident.

Dan came home a few hours later. I was laying on the floor of his room, looking through his books by the light of a candle. He shoved the door shut behind him and collapsed on top of me. I could feel the exhaustion that laced his muscles, but his mouth fell against mine and my worry threatened to dissipate.

“You’re working too hard, babe,” I said against him.

“If it means I can live in a world where I can see the flecks of colour in your eyes, then it’ll be worth it,” he whispered.

I looked down, breaking away from his lips. “How long do we have?”

He sighed, “Three more days until we’re ready.”

The animal from our first night together rose from its slumber. I flipped us over so that I was on top of him. He gasped as I tore off his shirt and bent to press a kiss against his pectoral. 

“Let’s make sure we get at least one more night together like this, okay?”

He gulped, already hardening beneath me. “Okay.”

**SMUT AHEAD**

His thickening member pressed against me and I palmed him through his jeans. He whimpered and tugged at my shirt. I obeyed, throwing it to the side, and snuffed out the candle. Once we were both nude, I pulled him upright and we stumbled to the bed. “Let’s make sure Pj doesn’t find us like this again.”

“Sure,” he breathed, running his hands across my bare shoulders and back.

He closed his eyes and mewled. I relished his small involuntary noises as I gently stroked his member, my fingers feather-light. He bucked against my hand and I kissed his lips. Heat filled my stomach when he suddenly ran his hands over my bare hips and butt. 

Pj was wrong. Dan was right for me. I was right for Dan. He seemed to be polarized to me, as if Earth’s orbit pulled us closer together. As if we were celestial beings from the same beginning, forced apart and just now reuniting. 

We twisted onto our sides and Dan wiggled down to my pelvis. Gripping my hip in his hand, he took me in his mouth. My brain sparked with the sensation of his lips on me. 

He wasn’t great. He was too hesitant, too gentle, as if he didn’t know how far he could go. His tongue slipped over my slit, but that was the extent of its movements. I smiled at his efforts, though. It might not be the best head I’ve ever gotten, but my heart still pounded as he touched me. This man, this sheepish-in-the-bedroom man, was mine. He had given himself to me, me of all people. It was almost impossible to believe I was awake and I wasn’t simply dreaming his existence. But I could never dream up Dan. “Have you ever done this before?”

Dan released me with a pop, scooting up so he was eye level with me again. He squirmed self-consciously. “No. I’m awful, aren’t I?”

Well your blow job skills could be worked on, but I can forgive that. “We’ll work on that later.”

“Why later? I can get better!”

“I know, baby. But I want to do something else right now. Let’s put a pin in it,” I said.

“As long as you teach me how to do it properly.”

“It’d be my pleasure,” I promised.

I turned him onto his stomach gingerly, coaxing him to his hands and knees. His back muscles coiled and stretched beneath his papery skin. “You’re beautiful.”

“L--lube in--” he drew in a shaky breath as I felt him.

“You have lube? How?”

“Rr--red light--district,” he choked out. “Stole--stole it.”

“What?”

“Jesus Christ, just get it out of the drawer,” he ordered quickly.

I reached over to the nightstand and opened the drawer. Sure enough, there was a small bottle. I took it out and squinted at it. It definitely wasn’t the highest quality, but considering I wasn’t going to try to have sex without lubricant, it would have to work. I squirted some onto my fingers. 

Getting to my knees, I lined myself up behind him. “Are you okay with this?”

“Yes, oh fuck, yes,” he nodded vigorously. 

I pushed my index finger inside of him. He gasped and involuntarily clenched, but I pressed my other hand into his shoulder and he slowly relaxed around my finger. I inserted my middle one and began to push and pull, searching for his prostate. 

He gasped, “Shit, Phil!”

A lazy grin spread across my face. Found it. I probed it a few times, earning a few soft grunts, before pulling out a bit and beginning to scissor my fingers. He squirmed and I whispered, “Just say the word and I’ll stop.”

“Don’t you even dare,” he snapped breathlessly.

I couldn’t help chuckling. “Alright then.”

When I was completely certain he wouldn’t experience any unnecessary pain, I gently removed my fingers and grabbed the bottle of lube. I squeezed the cool gel into my palm and covered my member in it. Then, trying to push down the fluttery anxiety rising in my chest, I lined myself up. “Ready?”

“God, Phil,” he said in response.

I took that as a yes. I took my member in my hand and pressed it inside him slowly. He hissed, rocking back into me, and I waited until he composed himself before I started grinding forward. I hit his prostate and he cried out, curling his fists into the sheets. I glanced down and found his unattended cock throbbing. I took it in my hand and began pumping it in time with my gyrations. 

Sweat dripped down my forehead as I sped up. I grazed his prostate with each roll and each time he moaned. 

It occurred to me that I might be taking Dan’s virginity right now. The thought only served to turn me on more. I bent down and kissed his shoulder, tasting his salty sweat. 

My muscles tensed as I felt myself get closer and closer to the edge. I gathered the last of my energy and sped my movements, running my hand up and down his member and driving myself deeper and harder into him.

“Phil?” He gasped.

“Y--yeah?” I panted.

“I’m going t--”

“Me too,” I moaned.

And I did. Just as he sprayed white ribbons onto the sheets, I released my load inside of him. I rode out our orgasms, both of us gasping and trying to muffle our moans, but it was nearly impossible to concentrate as the euphoric bliss blinded me. We finished messily, shuddering and tensing. 

I pulled out gently, falling rather than rolling to his side. We gazed at each other, panting and sweating and grinning. I pulled the blankets up over us. “I love you, Dan.”

It was true. It was the truest thing I’d ever said. 

“Even with my awful blow jobs?” he giggled.

“Even with those, Dan,” I murmured. “And besides, we’ll fix those. I’ll teach you next time.”

“I get to have a next time?”

“You have to have a next time,” I closed my eyes sleepily. Exhaustion muddled my brain. “If we don’t have this more often, I’m going to go insane. You drive me crazy, Dan.”

Dan offered me a cloth and I cleaned us off, kissing Dan as I wiped away the grime of our activities.

**SMUT OVER**

I wasn’t dumb enough to believe sex was going to ensure us staying together. It certainly didn’t hurt, but I couldn’t rely on it to keep Dan by my side. 

He slept heavily, but though I was drowning in fatigue, I couldn’t seem to coax my eyes to shut. Instead, I watched his dreams play across his face. Once in awhile he’d mumble and curl deeper into my bare chest. 

Sex wouldn’t keep us together, but it could certainly help. For the first time in my life, I felt as if I had been a part of something bigger than myself. It was as if our souls had joined, if but for a brief period of time. 

It wasn’t perfect. It was flawed. It was unsure. But it was beautiful. It was soft and stumbling and golden. Dan wasn’t my knight in shining armor, but that’s not what I needed anyway. He was rather a candle in the darkest night. He couldn’t possibly make much difference, and yet he did. I was his and he was mine. He lit my way. 

When I finally fell asleep, I dreamt of flashlights and gentle long-fingered hands.


	11. DAN'S POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil live in a world where wealth is based on how bright your life is. Literally. Dan has never seen anything in a light source brighter than a candle. This is exactly what the nobles want; they brainwash the people of the shadows and teach them that those in the sunlight are martyrs, protecting the poor with their walls casting darkness over their streets. Phil is a member of one of the most prestigious noble families living in the light, but he longs to feel the chilly embrace of the inky blackness below his balcony. When he escapes his world of wealth and meets Dan, he accidentally sets in motion a rebellion that could destroy his world of light. Will he follow his heart and fight beside Dan, or will the call of wealth and power be too strong? The dark ones' time has come to rise from their world of shadows, but at what cost to the light?

I woke before Phil and, after pulling on some clothes, crept out into the lounge. 

Chris glanced up from the fireplace. “Beet leaves aren't very good at burning.”

I squatted beside him, squinting at the hissing leaves. “They're wet.”

“Do you have anything better to burn? What about one of your books?” 

I shook my head. “Phil is reading the one I finished. He's almost done, though.”

Chris gazed silently at me. He chewed the inside of his cheek thoughtfully, bushy eyebrows furrowed. What? What was he thinking? “Why him?” he finally asked.

Why the sun? Why warmth? Why living and breathing? Why eating? “If I was the dramatic type, I'd say we must be star crossed lovers.”

“You are the dramatic type, Dan.” 

I smiled grimly. “What do you suggest? I just give up? This is...different. Good different.” 

Chris sighed, “Alright. I'm just worried about you, that's all, I suppose. He is a sun man, after all.”

I bristled. “I think he's proven himself.”

“Yes, but what if he turns at the last moment?”

I refused to even consider such a thing. Instead of broaching the subject in my mind, I stood and trudged through the kitchen, offering Pj a small nod in greeting, and whisked out the door. 

For once I was early and was left to wait for Jessica in the alley a few streets away from my house. Today was the most crucial moment. Today we would get weapons. 

Jessica appeared ten minutes later, followed shortly by our selected group of ten men and women. They were all relatively young, and most of them were thieves from the more violent districts. I straightened when they arrived, but didn’t smile. There was no time for such pleasantries. “What I have asked you to do today is no small feat,” I began. “But it must be done if we want to survive this revolution. I say survive, not win, because there is no way the Sunlanders will let us get away with what we’ve done. We’re in this for good now, and I hope that you realize and accept that. We burned down the factories. We have taken the first step in bringing down the Wall; now we must continue to the next. I have faith we can and will.”

The squad was quiet for a moment, but then one burly man stepped forward. “What’s the plan?”

I couldn’t help smiling, though it lacked humour. “The warehouse is a few kilometres north of here. We go in two different groups, one led by Jessica and the other by me. My squad will find a way to turn off the security system, so I’m going to need the best lockpickers and engineers with me.”

After I explained the rest of the plan, we split up and set off into the darkness. I had three men and two women in my group, loping silently behind me as I free ran through the streets. When I had been too young to barter in the markets, I was a thief. I learned the hard way how to put my full trust in my body and dart through the streets silently and efficiently. It seemed my squadron learned the same way, for only experience could ensure such competency. We streaked through the darkness, the crumbling buildings little more than blobs in my peripherals. My breath became shallow and my blood surged in my ears. I pressed my lips together as my legs started to burn. I hadn’t ran like this in a long time. 

We had to skirt around the compound to the north side for our plan to work. And of course, I chose to be the leader of the group that had to go to that side. I figured it was at least seven kilometres we ran. By the end, I was sure I was going to collapse and my heart would burst.

I tried not to compare the feeling to having sex with Phil. That was one problem I didn’t need to have right now.

Eventually we trotted to a stop a few metres out of the guard towers’ vision fields. My heartbeat slammed so fast and hard against my sternum that I almost worried my squadron could hear it, but that obviously was a ridiculous thought. I calmed my breathing before turning to the group.

The squad bowed their heads and sprang into action. With cat-like movement, the two women-- sisters who were both around the age of twenty-- pulled their scarves up over their mouths and began scaling the Wall. The rest of us covered our own faces and split up between the two sides of the road. 

Now came the waiting. I gazed up at the two women running along the rooftops back the way we’d come. Jessica had picked them herself, explaining their strange ability to climb any surface presented to them. Apparently they’ve even scaled part of the Wall, but of course they couldn’t get past any of the defenses near the top, and so clambered back down. And now here they were, fighting for their freedom with me. 

I didn’t know exactly what a “truck” looked like, but Phil had described it well enough for me to not mistake it for something else. Still, though, I was nervous. Phil had warned me that they had two flashlights on the front of them, brighter than even his. To avoid blinding ourselves, we’d covered our eyes with black mesh. 

Suddenly, the ground beneath me started to tremble. I jumped to my feet, squinting into the darkness. And then it wasn’t dark. I could only assume what I was looking at was a truck. It was a massive metal beast with four wheels. And the flashlights! Even with my eye protection, I still had to squint at them. The truck moved quickly and its loud roars echoed off the buildings. I fought back the shudder that threatened to show my fear. I had to be brave if I wanted my squadron to do their jobs. 

Gathering my courage, I jumped out in front of the truck. It squealed as it slowed down. I had to roll out of the way to avoid being run over. When it finally stopped, it shook a moment before two sun men opened doors in the truck’s walls and got out. Then, just as they stepped away from the grumbling beast, the women on the roof leapt down onto their backs. The sun men stumbled and fell, and the men and I jumped out of the shadows. I drove my fist into one of the sun men’s faces and he slumped forward. The woman dropped him and I looked up to find the other sun man taken out. I nodded to my squadron and climbed into the truck behind the “steering wheel”. 

Anxiety laced my blood as I stared blankly at the gauges and levers and buttons. With shaking fingers, I pulled out the drawing Phil had made earlier of the interior of the truck. 

“Push the accelerator slowly,” he’d explained. “And don’t brake too hard.”

My squadron piled in, gawking at the strange technology. I pushed the lever forward and the truck sprang to life. I mumbled an apology as everyone’s heads snapped forward. Slowly, I let off the brake and the truck rolled. We crept onward, getting closer and closer to the compound.

All we had were crossbows and knives (and a blunderbuss I had strapped to my belt, with glass shards and stones for ammunition), whereas the guards had powerful guns. Every Shadowlander knew about guns. The overseers in the factories always brandished them.

The ground beneath the wheels was slick with frost, but the truck didn't slide. I praised the Sunland for that at least. It hurt enough when you fell on your ass because of a surprise patch of ice. I couldn't even imagine how bad making this behemoth fall would be. 

“This,” Phil pointed to the rear end of the truck he'd drawn, “is the exhaust pipe. It blows smoke that you don't want to breathe. It'll hurt your head and lungs.”

“Why?” I'd asked, feeling slightly ashamed of the question.

Phil smiled patiently. “In order to make the truck run, lots of controlled explosions go off. I mean, that's not exactly what happens, but it's close enough. The exhaust is the waste of those explosions.”

He didn't need to explain what happened if I triggered a big uncontrolled explosion. But he assured me that as long as I didn't do anything unbelievably stupid, we would be perfectly fine. 

I still wasn't too sure and sitting behind the steering wheel coaxing the beast forward wasn't helping my terror.

So when we were in sight of the compound, I actually felt relieved instead of trepedacious. This horrific experience was almost over.

I hesitantly tapped the accelerator and the truck lurched forward. Cursing under my breath, I apologized to my squadron and eased off the pedal. Those in the back seat grumbled, but the woman sitting next to me remained silent. I glanced her way. I’d seen her before, but I couldn’t remember where. A long scar covered half her face, gnarling her features. 

“Zoe?” I asked.

She started, snapping out of her reverie. “I’m sorry, sir?”

“Is that your name?” 

A small smile graced her lips. “Yes.”

“Do you know who I am?” 

“Dan Howell. We’ve met before, but I didn’t always have this scar. Alfie is back there.” She jerked her head towards the backseat.

I fought the urge to crinkle my nose. Alfie was a thief, just like I was when I was young, but he didn’t just steal from strangers. He stole from his friends. 

Which is why he wasn’t my friend anymore.

But I had to put that behind for now. The revolution was more important than a petty man like Alfie. I turned back to look out the windshield. 

We rolled up to the guard station and I put my window down. I offered a dry grin. “Good morning, sir.”

The guard squinted. “What’s that on your face?”

“Nothing really, sir.” 

With that, Zoe leaned across me and threw a knife into the guard’s eye. He screamed and stumbled backwards. I leapt out of the window and into the station, knocking the guard down with my blunderbuss. Once he was unconscious, the rest of my squadron piled into the small room. I squinted in the painful light overhead. “Who is here to deal with the tech?”

Of course, of bloody fucking course, Alfie stepped forward. “Hey, Dan.”

I bristled. “I’m your superior, Alfie, and I will be respected as such. Take care of this light problem.”

He nodded sheepishly, seemingly reprimanded. But I knew him better than that. “One blackout coming up, sir.”

Alfie slid in front of the computer and began furiously typing. I crossed my arms over my chest. Green characters flashed across the black screen as he punched keys. 

Suddenly, a mass of sun men broke the door open. A loud sigh escaped me. “Are you kidding me, guys?”

My squad leapt into formation behind me, brandishing their crude weapons. I lifted my heavy blunderbuss and pulled the trigger. There was no reason to aim precisely, for it was far from accurate and even if it wasn’t, the glass shards and gravel I used as ammunition ricocheted everywhere once exploded outward. 

Though heavy and cumbersome, the makeshift gun had the desired effect. Guards dropped as glass stabbed into their bodies. I barked an order and my squadron jumped into action, throwing knives and shooting crossbows. I reloaded my gun, shouting to Alfie, “Get these fucking lights off!”

“Working on it, sir!” He viciously slammed a button and, almost comically quickly, the entire compound fell into darkness.

The sun men faltered. Blind twats. We took them out easily, running forward and slicing with our knives.

When finished, we unwrapped the cloth from our eyes. I never thought I’d be relieved to be in the dark. After taking their sophisticated weapons, we gingerly stepped over the fallen guards and made our way deeper into the compound. It was almost sad how easy it was to quietly move around guards stumbling through the halls. Maybe we did have the upperhand, at least down here. 

Indeed, as long as we didn’t make a sound, we were able to simply skirt around the sun men. I almost laughed at the way they shuffled around, feeling the air in front of them. 

But of course, we turned the corner and had to instantly whip back to the other side. They were handing out flashlights. I whispered, “Masks on. Now.”

We wrapped our faces again and pulled out our new weapons. I’ve never touched a gun of this caliber, but I’d have to learn fast. We all would. 

Just as we leapt out into the hallway and started shooting into the crowd, a voice called from behind us, “Howell!”

I glanced behind me and grinned. “Hey, Jessica. Want to help?”

We ducked behind opposite walls. The gunfire sang in my blood and my body seemed to move without my brain having to work too hard. Jessica shouted, “What’s this? A welcome committee?”

“They didn’t really like it when we shut the lights off.” Then, when I noticed her squad’s eyes weren’t covered, I added, “Watch yourself. Don’t look directly at them, they have flashlights.”

She nodded and ducked just as a bullet grazed past her ear. 

With the added help of Jessica’s unit, we made quick work of the guards and moved on. 

“We have to get to the control room,” I said. 

Jessica nodded and I turned to the two squadrons. “Jessica’s unit will be joining me from here. Understood?” They all nodded and I turned away. “Then let’s go.”


	12. PHIL'S POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil live in a world where wealth is based on how bright your life is. Literally. Dan has never seen anything in a light source brighter than a candle. This is exactly what the nobles want; they brainwash the people of the shadows and teach them that those in the sunlight are martyrs, protecting the poor with their walls casting darkness over their streets. Phil is a member of one of the most prestigious noble families living in the light, but he longs to feel the chilly embrace of the inky blackness below his balcony. When he escapes his world of wealth and meets Dan, he accidentally sets in motion a rebellion that could destroy his world of light. Will he follow his heart and fight beside Dan, or will the call of wealth and power be too strong? The dark ones' time has come to rise from their world of shadows, but at what cost to the light?

Pj and I looked up as the door knocked. He nodded to me and I wiped my hands off on my jeans. “Coming!” I called.

I opened the door and started. Louise marched in without an invitation, saying as she moved, “I need you to come with me, sun man.”

“He’s needed here,” Pj said darkly.

Louise’s eyes flashed in the dim light. “If you want Dan to have an army then I suggest you come with me.”

“Where?” I asked warily. Dan hadn’t given me the vibe that he had faith in Louise.

“Trust, sun man. Come,” she ordered, turning back towards the door.

I hesitated, but Pj sighed and shook his head. “It’s your choice, Phil.”

It only took me another moment to make my decision. “I’ll see you later then.”

He grunted in reply. I pulled on my coat and gloves and trotted after Louise into the late morning chill. The air was dry and crisp and if I pretended for just a moment, I could convince myself that I was walking through the streets in the Sunland on a late autumn night. Not that I wanted to go back there. I was here to fight for Dan, to be beside Dan. 

Louise and I walked in silence for a bit, but she soon smirked. “It was good of you to come. The Darklanders want to meet you.”

“They already have,” I pointed out.

“Yes, but we like to be able to have relationships. Many of my people came forward and insisted on learning more about you. From you, that is,” she explained.

“Alright then,” I muttered. It made sense, but that didn’t mean I was up to meeting a bunch of terrifying barbarians like Louise. 

As we continued deeper into the districts, I started to notice a prickling on the back of my neck. “I think we’re being followed, Louise,” I whispered.

“Hmm?” She paused, then grinned. “Oh, it’s nothing.”

Suddenly, something flew into my back and knocked me forward. 

Dan…

Dan, I’m so stupid. I was betrayed.

I’m sorry.

A familiar childish giggle echoed through the air and my panic slowly subsided. Darcy clung to my back and I couldn’t help but laugh breathlessly with her. “What are you doing here, Darcy?”

She squealed with laughter and Louise chuckled. Was I missing something? Louise said, “Come now, Darcy, get off the poor man’s back.”

Just as I was about to say, “She’s alright.” Darcy said, “Why, mama? He doesn’t mind, do you, sun man?”

“‘Mama’?” I asked, turning to Louise. “You’re her mum?”

“Indeed,” Louise nodded, still smiling at the child.

Darcy crawled up deftly and swung her legs around my head so she was sitting on my shoulders, gripping onto my fringe. Her tiny fingers pulled my hair, but not enough to hurt, so I didn’t stop her. I glanced over at Louise once we started walking again. “How come you never mentioned you’re a mum?”

Louise snorted. “Darcy is her own person. I don’t control her, do I, love?”

“Nope!” Darcy cackled, pulling back on my head.

Maybe Louise wasn’t so awful. If she could create such a strangely enchanting child, how bad could she be? I decided to try to like her.

Darcy rode on my shoulders for a few more blocks, pulling my head to and fro to show me different things. “Look, sun man! My shadow friends are dancing! Oh, let’s go dance with them!”

I pretended to know what she was pointing at. “Maybe later, Darcy,” I promised.

“Why not now? If you don’t, I shall!”

With that, she hopped off my shoulders and skipped into the black alley, her dark coat blending in with the backdrop of the street. I looked quickly at Louise, but she seemed unconcerned. When she caught my stare, she said, “Not many dark children are kept on a tight leash. Darcy is a shadow child, born of the darkness. She is safest in its embrace, so I don’t fear for her.”

Okay? I still didn’t quite understand, but maybe with the poverty their parents face, it’s easier to run free. Darcy still seemed to love and respect Louise.

“How old is she?” I asked.

Louise furrowed her brow thoughtfully. “Six? Yes, six.”

“You don’t know her age?”

“And how do you propose we celebrate birthdays, sun man? We hardly have the means to feed ourselves,” Louise said, venom dripping from every word.

What she didn’t say was, “Because of you. Because of your ancestors.”

I considered apologizing, but knew it wouldn’t do any good. What would I apologize for? Forgetting she’s deathly poor? That would probably only make matters worse.

We walked on in silence until we made it to the dark district’s border. I squinted into the inky shadows. They seethed and warped, but as we sauntered closer I began to make out the forms of people. 

The dark people were hunched and small and sunken. Generations of malnutrition had made them frail, but I knew from experience that they were anything but weak. I wouldn’t cross any of these people if my life depended on it. 

When we entered the square, Louise climbed up onto the scaffold and then helped me up beside her. People gathered around and I considered what I should do. If they want to know me better, how should I go about introducing myself? 

To start, I swung my legs over the edge of the platform so I was sitting right in front of them. They hesitated to move closer, but a few gasped when Darcy materialized and sat down beside me. She laughed at them, “I like this one! This sun man is good, right, sun man?”

I nodded, smiling at her. “You have a habit of showing up at opportune times, don’t you?”

She giggled pridefully. “Dance with me, sun man!”

I glanced sidelong at the crowd. “Right now?”

She jumped up and crossed her arms over her chest indignantly. “I want to dance with you, sun man! My shadows want you to dance, too!”

How could I argue with the logic of such a child? And I did promise her I would. I shrugged and stood. “What can we dance to?”

“Listen, sun man! Listen, listen!” Darcy twirled around. “The shadows are singing!”

I hesitated. I still hadn’t decided if Darcy was just a playful child or actually mad.

Louise chuckled and stepped towards the large crowd. “You heard the child!”

Instantly, the people broke into partners and groups. A few jumped on the scaffold with us and started to sing an upbeat song in a style I’d never heard before, like screaming and crying and laughing all at once, clapping their hands and stomping their feet. Darcy thrust out her small arms and I took her hands in mine. She grinned and began to tug me in a wide circle. “Dance, sun man, dance!”

I couldn’t dance, not really. I avoided parties as much as possible in the Sunland. But Darcy dragged me around, twirling and laughing and whooping, and I ended up grinning and hopping about with her. The people on the ground had begun to dance, too, though some remained on the sidelines with sad faces. Darcy shouted, “Down, sun man! Let’s go down with the shadows!”

At first I feared she was talking about hell or something like that, but she simply clambered down from the scaffold and led me into the crowd. A hand grabbed my arm just as a stranger took Darcy’s hand. We were pulled apart and I found myself face to face with an old woman, hair flying around her papery face. How old is she really? I wondered. They age sinfully quick down here. She could be in her forties!

The woman cackled and dropped my hands after a few turns and I found myself spinning into the arms of a man. He whooped, “Sun man! It was good of you to come!”

Before I could thank him, the next rotation began. I hardly even had time to question why they were all dancing--why they were happy enough to dance, though they all looked severely thin. But I soon found myself completely swept up in the chaos of their dance and didn’t care to think too deeply into their apparent joy.

When we stopped, I found myself beside Darcy in the center of the giant group. Breathless, I said, “Thank you. That was awesome.”

Louise pushed through the crowd and pressed her thumb to my forehead. With a small authorative smile, she shouted, “Phil Lester, once a sun man, is now one of us! He is a Shadowlander!”

The crowd burst into cheers. Darcy grinned and held her arms out to me. I helped her onto my shoulders and she pumped her fists in the air. Louise dropped her hand away from my face and whispered to me, “Now all of us will fight. Congratulations.”

I wasn’t quite sure what I did, but apparently it was really great. A wary grin spread across my face as strangers reached out and touched my arms and face. Darcy hugged my forehead, petting my hair. She was so light I almost worried she’d be knocked off with the surging of the crowd, but she remained in place on my shoulders as if glued there. She howled with victorious laughter, egging on the crowd. 

When I began the return home, Darcy skipping beside me sometimes and running off into the darkness the next moment, my bones ached from exhaustion. I wasn’t used to such exercise. 

Louise had bid me farewell after the crowd dispersed, but apologized when I asked if she was walking back with me. She had to stay there and mark Dan’s followers for him. I thanked her for her service and Darcy stepped forward, saying, “I’m going to go up there too.”

And so we walked side by side through the districts. She wasn’t much help with directions, darting through the side streets and returning to my side at the speed of light. I inwardly high-fived myself for my ability to remember the way back.

Dan pulled the door open before I could even touch the handle. I opened my mouth to speak, but he yanked me into an embrace before I could utter a word. “Where were you?” He asked, his voice panicked.


	13. DAN'S POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil live in a world where wealth is based on how bright your life is. Literally. Dan has never seen anything in a light source brighter than a candle. This is exactly what the nobles want; they brainwash the people of the shadows and teach them that those in the sunlight are martyrs, protecting the poor with their walls casting darkness over their streets. Phil is a member of one of the most prestigious noble families living in the light, but he longs to feel the chilly embrace of the inky blackness below his balcony. When he escapes his world of wealth and meets Dan, he accidentally sets in motion a rebellion that could destroy his world of light. Will he follow his heart and fight beside Dan, or will the call of wealth and power be too strong? The dark ones' time has come to rise from their world of shadows, but at what cost to the light?

We moved silently through the halls, avoiding the corridors with flashlights. Which was difficult, as more and more guards walked around corners holding a bright device. The plan of “fast and silent” proved to be far more impossible than I originally thought. 

I stopped the squadron in a doorway, light flashing around in the hallway ahead. “Put on your masks. Our new plan of action is to survive. And that will mean making sure the sun men don’t.”

Everyone nodded, though some hesitant. I frowned at those who took a moment to agree. “Or you can die,” I offered. “But I would prefer having my squadron survive. I handpicked you all because I had faith in your ability to serve the cause. If you don’t kill them, they’ll kill you. Understood? Come on.”

A man offered me a small device. I squinted. It was a heavy metal sphere with a pin sticking out of its bottleneck. I took hold of the pin and yanked it out. The device grew hot in my hand and I chucked it out into the hallway, my heart hammering. 

Thank god we covered our eyes. The device exploded the second it hit the ground, creating a fire brighter than even a flashlight. As I was blown back into the squadron, my ears ringing, I wondered vaguely if it was equatable to the sun. Spots blotted my vision as I straightened, shaking my head. The smoke cleared lazily and I poked my head around the corner. The hallway was strewn with drywall, concrete, and pulpy body parts. My lungs grew shallow at the devastation. We wouldn’t have stood a chance if faced with something of that caliber, especially with our crude crossbows and “guns”. I was still trying to catch my breath again when I turned to the man who had given me the device. “Where did you get that?”

The man squirmed. “I took it from a body.”

“Do you have any more?” I asked. He nodded and I rolled my shoulders. “Good. Give them to me.”

He obeyed without question, thrusting them into me as if he was terrified of touching them. I quickly counted them. I had two more to somehow work with. Zoe stepped forward and I glanced up at her. Her voice wavered when she spoke, “Why would the sun people have such weapons?”

I gulped loudly, still reeling myself. “I’m not sure. But do you all understand how crucial this mission is now? Don’t fool yourself into thinking we can survive this revolution using only what we have.”

This time, no one hesitated in agreeing. I turned away and beckoned the group onward. We picked our way around and over the debris of the exploding device. I tried not to look at the crimson splattering the Walls. Our scan for salvageable weapons was fruitless, though. What we could find could hardly be identified as guns anymore, turned into twisted tubes of steel by the heat of the blast.

Zoe marched faster to walk beside me. She offered me a cloth, explaining, “Your head, sir.”

I brought my hand up to touch my forehead. When I took it away, I found it slick with blood. I accepted the cloth and pressed it to my head. “Thank you. It must have been from the explosion.”

She nodded. “It’s going to hurt later when your adrenaline dies down.”

“Yeah,” I snorted, “that’s unfortunate. But I’m not the only one who will be harmed in this war.”

She fell back beside Alfie. I almost felt bad for chastising her. After all, she was only trying to help. But then my glance found its way to Alfie and I turned away again. 

Slowly, so slowly that I almost didn’t notice it, my path became zigzagged. I staggered, trying to regain my balance. Jessica came forward to touch my shoulder. “Sir?”

I straightened and gave her a tight-lipped smile. “I’m alright. Let’s go.” 

Her expression clouded, but she didn’t say anything and fell back. 

As we continued on, the two climbing women used the doorways and dark lights sticking out of the Walls to swing a few metres ahead, dropping into groups of guards. While the sun men were slashing their flashlights back and forth, searching for their attackers, we’d lift our weapons and silence them. 

That’s not to say we didn’t suffer injuries ourselves. One of the climbing girls fell when a guard hit her in the head with the butt of his gun. When the other woman checked her pulse, she simply straightened, bowed to me, and climbed back up into the beams. But there had been a gleam in her eyes and I only checked the corpse myself out of formality.

Alfie somehow fell to the back of the group and when we finally made it to the control room, he had the least amount of injuries. A bullet had grazed my arm and blood seeped from the gash lazily. I prayed that my adrenalin would remain high enough to ignore my wounds until we were done.

I set down one of the remaining exploding devices in front of the door and pulled the pin. This time, I didn’t hesitate in sprinting out of range of the blast. “Get down!” I ordered, slapping my hands over my ears.

The heat of the blast warmed my face. I said to Jessica, “Remind me to ask Phil what the name of that thing is.”

She jerked her chin down and we rolled out of our hiding spot. I beckoned the group onward and we slinked into the room, guns raised. 

A man turned around in his chair and before I could think, I lifted my gun and shot him in the head. 

His eyes were green.

Blood splattered his computer screen. Jessica beckoned for the squadron to sweep the room as I robotically pushed the body on the floor. “Alfie,” I ordered, “get me on the intercom. And lock this place down.” If the factories had intercoms, then surely the weapons compound would too.

He obeyed, sliding into the seat and wiping away the blood on the monitor with his sleeve. The action only served to smear it across the glowing screen. He dropped his hands to the wet keyboard and began to type, his fingers hardly touching the buttons. I sent two men to guard the door as he worked.

Finally, after I was thoroughly on edge, Alfie moved out of the way. I dropped into the chair and pulled the microphone closer. I cleared my throat and glanced up. When Alfie nodded, I began to speak.

“Hello, remaining Sunlanders. This is Daniel Howell, leader of the Shadowland revolution. I’m sure by now you know what’s happening. Surrender now and your lives will be spared. If you refuse, you will die. The compound is on lockdown. You may hide, but we will find you and kill you. Do not let it come to that.”

Alfie clicked off the recorder and I stood.

Only six sun men came to the control room with hands raised. The men I had sent to guard the door cuffed them and, once it was clear no one else was coming, I left four members of the squadron--two men and a woman--there with them while the rest of us scoured the compound for those who hid.

It was easy to find them. But killing them was harder. For me, that is.

Phil’s voice whispered to me in my head. I missed him so much it hurt.

They thought of us as animals. We were only insects to be squashed. Now we were squashing them.

After a few hours of doubling back through the compound halls, we returned to the control room. Alfie unlocked the compound and I ordered the squadron to take the prisoners to the warehouse a few districts down--about a kilometre away, but I wasn’t worried--we’d turned into a prison.

Jessica and I trekked to the roof of the compound. The Sunland flag--white with a red and orange sun in the centre--flapped in the breeze. Together we tugged it down and I reached into Jessica’s pack, pulling out our own canvas. It was black with the revolution’s symbol in blue. We fastened it to the flagpole and strung it up, marveling at its glory. 

We had succeeded. The revolution was officially in motion.

“Let’s meet at my house tomorrow,” I said, and Jessica nodded.

I left the compound, Jessica staying behind to take inventory, and set off for home. For Phil. With him in my mind, I hardly noticed the crippling terror the darkness inflicted.

When I walked through the door, I instantly knew something was wrong. “Pj?”

He looked up from stirring his concoction of grease and oil. We’d use it for matches, like we did with the ones I used in the market the day I first met Phil. “Yes?”

“Where’s Phil?” I tried not to sound worried. Pj would never let him do anything stupid. Would he?

Pj shrugged, “He left with Louise early this morning.”

Time froze. “He what?”

My brother rolled his eyes, an action I caught gleaming in the light of the flickering embers in the fireplace. “Louise stopped by and demanded for him to go with her.”

My brain reeled. Why would Pj do such a thing? “Do you know why?” Pj shrugged and fury erupted in my brain. “What the fuck, Pj? We don’t even know if Louise is completely trustworthy!”

“What was I supposed to do, Dan?” Pj snapped, his words bouncing between twinspeak and regular English. “He’s a grown ass man. I wasn’t about to make him stay here. I’m not his mum and, contrary to popular belief, I’m not in charge of him.”

I clenched my fists at my sides and envisioned throwing his pot of ooze into the Wall. “How long has he been gone?”

Pj’s shoulders lifted again and I never wanted to punch anyone as hard as I wanted to punch him. “Since this morning. Ask Chris. Maybe you’ll be more civil with him.”

“Fuck you, Pj.”

“Harsh, bro.”

“You probably just sent Phil to his death! We need him!”

“We need him?!” Pj whipped his head up, glaring. His voice rose with each word. “Or do you need him? Stop thinking with your dick, Dan, Jesus fucking Christ. You’re the leader of a revolution, for fuck’s sake.”

Pj never swore this much. Not even when Chris broke his last toy given to him from mum and dad, the only thing he had to remember them by.

But I wasn’t about to back down. “Oh, forgive me, brother. I’m sorry I’m finally somewhat happy. I’m sorry I want to share that happiness with people. I’m sorry Phil is my fucking sunshine, and I’m sorry I want everyone to experience that warmth.”

“You’re a fucking idiot!” Pj screamed, jumping up from his chair and crossing to me. “Phil is a sun man! Have you forgotten what they’ve done to us? What they did to our parents?”

“The sun people didn’t kill our parents,” I snapped. My heart was beating so loud it was hurting my ears.

“Sun ‘people?’ Is that what you call them now? Are you one of them? Jesus Christ, you find one man willing to give you a blow job and it doesn’t even matter what side of the Wall he’s from.”

An eerie calm fell over the kitchen. For a while all that could be heard was our angry pants. Then, I whispered shakily, “I’m not going to hate every single sun man. They’re not all the same person with the same idea about the Shadowland. Phil has shown me that. Now I’m sorry you’re jealous of my b--”

“Wait, excuse me? Jealous?” Pj snorted. “I want you to be happy, Dan, but forgive me if I have a hard time trusting a sun man.”

Chris suddenly slammed open the front door. “For fuck’s sake, guys, I could hear you screaming down the street practically. You two are twins, why is it so hard for you to get along when you need each other most? Pj, you don’t have the right to treat Phil the way you treat him. He is a good person and has proven that time and again. Dan, you don’t have the right to attack Pj about Phil’s whereabouts. Phil is an adult who can go where he wants. I’m sure he’s safe. He’s stronger than you think. Now Pj, be a good brother and take care of Dan’s face. He’s been pretty fucked up if you can’t tell.”

Pj and I stood silently, accepting Chris’s chastising. He sighed, put away his big brother card, and trudged past us to the lounge. When we heard his bedroom door shut, I sat down and watched him bustle around the kitchen. 

The second I calmed down, a blinding pain erupted in my skull. I doubled over, bile rising in my throat. Though my brain was suspended in water, I could just barely hear Pj say, “Dan? Dan?!”

***

When I woke up, I was lying on the couch. “Oh my god, what?”

Pj offered me a cup of water and I drank greedily. “You’ve been out for about an hour. I cleaned you up, good as new. Luckily nothing bad happened, but I’d take it easy for a few days.”

“Nothing broken?” I asked, testing my arm. It hurt like a bitch, but I could move. “Thank you. I’m--uh--I’m sorry--”

“I’m sorry, Dan,” Pj sighed, and then spoke in twinspeak. “I’m just really scared. I don’t want my family hurt. I can’t lose you.”

I pulled him against me, grunting when he brushed against my bullet wound. When we finally parted, I furrowed my brow. “Is Phil back yet?”

Pj dropped his gaze and new panic welled in my stomach. He’d been gone since this morning and it was probably late afternoon now. 

If Louise hurt him, I didn’t care about her support. I’d kill her. 

Pj sat with me, refilling my water glass whenever I emptied it. Chris came out to check on me once, but then left the house. 

My twin and I moved to the kitchen. I sat at the island and watched him complete his fuel mixture, fingering the bandage around my head. It was warm and damp from my burn--that’s what Pj called it, a bad burn. I mean, he mentioned having to remove some small pieces of shrapnel-- holy shit, Dan, what did this to you?--but other than those tiny flesh wounds, all I was dealing with was a nasty scar for awhile. Who knows? Pj had said. Maybe Phil will think it’s sexy.

I had rewarded his joke with a dry, anxious laugh. Where was he? 

After a while, I was aware of soft footsteps on the pavement outside. They weren’t as heavy as Chris’s. They were soft and shuffling. They were Phil’s.

I jumped to my feet, stumbled a bit when my head throbbed at the blood loss, and staggered to the door. I yanked it open and found Phil--glorious, beautiful Phil--with his hand outstretched and a shocked expression on his face.

Before I knew what I was doing, I yanked him into me. I didn’t even care when he bumped my bandaged arm. “Where were you?” 

He convinced me to sit down at the island with him. Pj leaned across the rough counter attentively as Phil relayed his surprising tale.

“I never knew the dark people even danced,” Pj said when Phil was finished.

Phil shrugged, “Apparently they do. Anyway, I’m one of you now, I guess. That’s what they said.”

“Who’s Darcy?” I asked.

“Louise’s six-year-old daughter. She’s, uh, weird. Strange, odd, sweet in her own way. She’s taken a liking to me,” Phil stretched his arms over his head, revealing a slip of ivory skin beneath his blue shirt. I smiled cheekily and reached forward, poking his skin. His arms dropped and he frowned at my head. “What happened to you?”

I sighed and described the heavy exploding device, taking the last one out of my pack to show him. Phil squinted at it before gasping. “That’s a grenade, you twit! You could have died!”

I decided not to question the irony of his statement. “Well I didn’t.”

He threw himself against me and pressed his face into my neck. My heart soared as his lips brushed, warm and silky, against my skin. When I looked up, Pj had turned away.

Phil pulled back, arms still around my neck, and I giggled. “Did you seriously call me a twit?”

He tapped my nose. “Yes, and I'll do it again if you go playing with exploding devices you don't understand again.” 

“I understood it well enough the second time around,” I mumbled.

His eyes--oh how I wished I could see their true color, and not just in shades of grey and black--flashed. “You used two of them?!”

“One to get rid of a group of guards, the other to break down the door to the control room,” I said.

Phil sighed, his shoulders shaking. “Please take me with you when you go to train with the Sunland weapons. I know how most of them work.”

“I was planning on it, love,” I promised. 

“So we have our weapons and have taken our first Sunland stronghold,” Pj turned back to us. “What now?”

I scratched the back of my head. “Well, one thing’s for sure: we can’t go to the Sunland. It was hard enough to walk around in the lit room. We have to coax the Sunlanders here.”

“That’ll be easy enough,” Phil said. “You burned down the factories and took over the largest weapons compound in the Shadowland. But you won't want to fight defensively; they'll flatten us. Better to surprise them.”

I couldn’t tell if what I heard in his voice was contempt or exhaustion. 

Later that night, when my head had started throbbing again and my arm stung with every small jostle, I lay on Phil’s bare chest and tried to drown out the ringing in my ears with his heartbeat. I traced patterns in the grooves and dips of his stomach, marveling at the thin layer of muscle that draped over his bones and pushed up against his skin. He pet my hair, running his fingers through it. My hair fell back to my head in curls and I couldn’t right the blush that rose in my cheeks. “Me and my hobbit hair, I swear to god.”

He stopped his strokes. “I love your curly hair. How do you even straighten it?”

I shrugged, my bony shoulder pressing into the flesh of his pectoral. “Leftover candle wax works as gel.”

“That’s gross,” Phil laughed.

“Maybe, but I don’t know what else you expect me to use,” I said darkly.

Phil resumed tugging his hands through my hair. “You should stop. The curls are cute.”

“I don’t want to be cute,” I pointed out. “I want to be strong and brave and leaderly.”

“Is that even a word?” Phil chuckled, pulling me tighter against him. “And you can be cute and brave at the same time. You do it every day.”

“Only you think that, Phil,” I muttered.

He sighed, his chest rising and falling dramatically beneath me. “Whatever, Howell.”

What were we doing? Talking about hair when we were going to wake up and go meet Louise and Jessica in the morning so that Phil could teach us all that he knew about the weapons. Who even cared?

Phil kissed my temple, his lips feather light, and I decided that it was okay if he wanted to discuss trivial matters. Hell, we could talk about the physics of stew if he wanted. 

Don’t let me go, Philip, I begged silently.

As if in response, he squeezed me tighter. His chest rumbled when he whispered, “I love you, Dan.”

In response, I kissed his collarbone and said against it, “I love you, too.”

And even though tomorrow we’d prepare for an onslaught of Sunland fury, tonight I was okay.


	14. PHIL'S POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil live in a world where wealth is based on how bright your life is. Literally. Dan has never seen anything in a light source brighter than a candle. This is exactly what the nobles want; they brainwash the people of the shadows and teach them that those in the sunlight are martyrs, protecting the poor with their walls casting darkness over their streets. Phil is a member of one of the most prestigious noble families living in the light, but he longs to feel the chilly embrace of the inky blackness below his balcony. When he escapes his world of wealth and meets Dan, he accidentally sets in motion a rebellion that could destroy his world of light. Will he follow his heart and fight beside Dan, or will the call of wealth and power be too strong? The dark ones' time has come to rise from their world of shadows, but at what cost to the light?

Darcy hadn’t been with Louise when she came to meet us at the compound. I tried to dismiss it-- Darcy was hardly ever with Louise, why would she be with her now?-- and focus on the task at hand. Which proved to be far more difficult than I thought.

“Yes, but what does it do?” Jessica asked, exasperation clear in her voice.

I squirmed, the electric gun heavy in my arms. The cases of machine guns, grenades, lasers, anti gravity bombs (which are actually rather self explanatory), regular explosive bombs, et cetera that I’d already explained lay in organized piles off to the side. But the mountain of different killing machines was still too large for me to relax yet. My mouth was dry from talking and swallowing and trembling.

Dan, his arm in a sling across his chest and his head wrapped in about fifty kilograms of gauze, laid his free hand on my shoulder. “Phil,” he said, his voice soothing, “if this is too much for you, we can take a break.”

I shook myself out of my lethargy. “No, I’ve got this.”

It sounded more like a question than a response. Dan’s face clouded with indecision, but an annoyed huff from Jessica sent him stepping away and back to his side of the table. I squared my shoulders and spoke with new vigor. “An electric gun uses the negatively charged particles that are already in the air, but attracts them with a positive charge that is activated when you pull the trigger. It then focuses the negative particles and shoots it like a lightning bolt.” I dropped it back down onto the table and sighed softly at the relief I felt at ridding myself of it. “I would advise against using it in the rain, though.”

Louise picked it up with one hand and hefted it over her shoulder. “Does it work?”

I shrugged. “At taking out a group of targets, yes. But it’s not very accurate.”

Jessica picked up a new weapon eagerly. “And this?”

I stared at it. Perhaps I should have took it from her, but I couldn’t bring myself to touch it. “That’s a whip.”

She rolled her eyes. “I know what a whip is. But what does it do?”

Her words washed into my head and back out again like waves on a shore, only leaving behind droplets of fragmented understanding. The whip was long and ended in tassles laced with synthetic diamond sharp enough to slice a person in two if it was swung hard enough. And with the press of a button on the handle, the entire coil was electrified with enough voltage to stun or kill.

They were everything wrong with the Sunland. Just looking at it felt like it was laughing at me, pointing to my chest and chanting, “You did this. You created me. You used me.”

I didn’t, of course, do any of those things. But because I came from the Sunland, their invention was also my fault. 

They were the tools used to keep the shadow slaves weak and obedient. 

I told the group the whip’s purpose and it was almost comical watching their faces drain of color.

But not quite.

Jessica’s hand opened just enough to let the whip fall to the floor. I squirmed in the sickening silence that descended the room. Dan murmured, “Y--they whip us?”

He was going to say “you”. I wasn’t sure which hurt more: that it was true, or that deep down he blamed me. I was still a Sunlander, even to Dan. 

I dropped my head. “Let’s take a break.”

No one objected, but I was the only one that left the room. The rest of them were frozen there, statues in the face of the truth. So I walked away, letting the heavy iron door fall shut behind me and wishing I could siphon out my blood and replace it with the oil sludge Pj makes. Maybe then I could be what was needed. Maybe then I could be accepted by the only people I ever felt apart of.

Dan joined me a few minutes later in the hallway, as I knew he would. We stood on opposite sides of the corridor and though I leaned against the cold wall, he remained rigidly upright. 

Finally, he spoke. “I know why you’re out here.”

“It’s stifling in there,” I said truthfully.

“Yeah,” he agreed solemnly. “And I’m a dick.”

“I’m just glad I know how you really feel.” Though I tried to speak confidently, my voice broke on the last word. 

“You want to know how I really feel?” Dan asked harshly. “I love you. I love everything about you, right down to your sun blood.” His face softened and a part of me wanted to reach out and trace his serious lips. “I don’t know what I was doing in there. I don’t know why I said that. I’m just scared, Phil. I’m fucking scared and I know it’s not excuse, but there it is. There’s my reason.”

I stared at him. This was still Dan, my currently bandaged and broken Dan, the Dan I’ve known for a month and have learned to love in half the time. “I get it.” I swallowed, then continued with new strength, “I’m not a Shadowlander. I’m a sun man, and nothing will change that. Not loving you, not helping the revolution, and not doing a dance thing with the Darklanders.” 

His eyes widened. I exhaled heavily and turned back to the door, but before I could touch the handle Dan grabbed my hand. “You don’t have to go back in there.”

“Yes I do,” I said calmly, trying to pull away from him.

He only tightened his grip. “No, you don’t. You really, really don’t.”

“I’m okay, Dan,” I promised, offering my most pathetic excuse for a smile.

“If you say so.” His hand loosened, but I couldn’t bring myself to pull away. He whispered, gazing at our entwined fingers, “But are we okay?”

Maybe I hesitated too long in responding, but I did eventually say, “Yeah, we’re okay.” 

We returned to the room and I picked up a long-range grenade. No one bothered to retrieve the whip from the floor.

***

My mouth was dry from talking. I sipped gingerly at the coppery water in my mug, longing vaguely for the fresh mineral water of the Sunland, as Dan paced back and forth before me. I shifted so I was curled deeper into Dan’s indent in the couch. “What are you doing?” I asked finally, deciding that disrupting his thought process was better than letting him walk a hole into the floor.

He lurched to a stop, blinking at me as if he’d forgotten I was there. “Sorry, love.”

My heart leapt at the word. Yeah, it wasn’t the first time he’d called me that, but it never got old to hear it roll effortlessly off his tongue. “What is it?”

Dan’s lips quirked and he sat down beside me. I pushed my legs into his lap and he dropped his arm to rest on my shins. I repeated my question and his slinged shoulder twitched. “I’m just worried,” he said eventually. “I know you said we’re okay, but I’m not okay. You know?”

“No,” I said, searching his face in the dark lighting.

He shook his head. “I hurt you, I know I did. I don’t know what came over me, what made me say it. But it was wrong. It was so fucking wrong, but I said it and I can’t take it back.”

“You didn’t actually say it,” I pointed out.

“But I started to,” he countered. “I was going to say ‘you’. And I don’t blame you at all, so I don’t understand why I was going to.”

“It’s probably a reflex,” I said quietly. “I am a sun man, after all. You’ve seen me only as that for the brunt of our friendship. I don’t expect you to see me differently overnight.”

“But I do see you differently!” He said earnestly. “You’re perfect, and I finally see that. So I shouldn’t have remnants of anything from before our relationship.” His face fell and he added quietly, as if only to himself, “If I can still call it that.”

“Stop it,” I ordered, picking up his good hand and bringing his knuckles to my lips. “Stop beating yourself up. Of course you can call it a relationship, Bear.”

“‘Bear?’” he laughed dryly.

I grinned, though it was hardly a funny moment. “It fits. Bear it is.”

“You’re ridiculous, Phil,” he said, but he was still smiling. “If I’m Bear, then you’re Lion.”

“Lion?”

“Like Leo the Lion. He’s brave like you,” he explained.

“I think you’re confusing us.” I raised my eyebrows.

“It’s sad you think that, but it’s too late. That’s what I’m going to call you now.” 

I lay back against the arm of the couch. “Lion, eh?”

He breathed a soft chuckle, playing with my socked toes.

Chris walked in a little later and sat across from us. “How'd it go today? Anything fun that was found?”

I dropped my head and Dan responded, “Flame throwers are fun.”

Chris’s eyes lit up. “No shit, for real? Flame throwers?”

“And shock bombs,” Dan continued.

“What do those do?”

“They're self explanatory, Chris,” I said dryly. I didn't understand how anyone could find killing tools exciting, but I tried to chock it up to him never knowing these things even existed. “They zap anyone in a ten-metre radius with enough voltage to kill an elephant.” 

Chris sucked in a breath, leaning forward gleefully. “That's insane. What do you guys even need such weapons for?”

I bristled. There it is again. You guys. Including me with the Sunland’s people. Dan began to say something about it, but I cut him off. “We use them to threaten the shadow people into submission. You're only slaves to us, and that's why this revolution is so important. You're people and we have no right to treat you the way we do.”

Chris’s face had lost all color by the time I was finished. “I didn't mean--” he stuttered.

“You did,” I said calmly. “And it's fine. I mean, it's not, because I though I would've succeeded in proving my loyalty to the Shadowland by now, if not in words and action then at least in fucking your brother.” I swung my legs off of Dan’s lap and stalked to our--OUR-- room. It felt so good to slam the door behind me, envisioning Chris’s face watching me go. 

Dan joined me in the bedroom a moment later and lay down on the bed beside me. I trembled as his fingers began tracing up and down my arm, raising goosebumps in their wake. When he pressed his lips to my neck, I forced myself to break away from him and sit up. He propped himself up on his elbow, a look of confusion plaguing his features. “Is this not okay anymore?”

Instead of responding, I turned and kissed his cheek. His eyelids fluttered shut and he turned his head. I smiled and moved my lips to his, and it didn't take long for him to reciprocate fully, tilting his head to deepen the kiss and tangling his fingers in my mess of black hair. When we parted, our foreheads resting against each other, I smiled grimly. “I'm sure I've managed to make you very confused,” I mused.

“I don't mind,” Dan said, though his voice betrayed his disappointment.

“I don't know, Dan,” I sighed. “I love you and that won't change. But every time I'm reminded I'm not a Shadowlander, I remember that I probably am not the best choice for you.”

“What do you mean?” he asked, a malicious tone plaguing the question.

I hesitated, but then told him what Pj had said that night not so long ago. As I spoke the words out loud, I couldn't help but believe them, at least a little bit. 

Dan is not the right person to lead this revolution. And you aren't the right person to be at his side when he does it.

Though I feared Dan would go wake up Pj and demand an explanation, his actual response surprised me.

“My twin is an idiot,” he grumbled.

“Why do you say that?” I asked miserably.

“Because he has no idea what he's talking about,” Dan nuzzled my shoulder. “I might not be the best leader, but I'm the only one who had the balls to start the revolution that's been in the making for hundreds of years. But he was dead wrong about you. You're perfect. I'm just worried that you'll realize I'm not.”  
“I don't expect you to be perfect,” I pointed out. “But you are for me, at least. I couldn't ask for you to be different, and I wouldn't even if I could.”

Dan huffed his warm breath against my shoulder and kissed my neck. “I love you, Philip Lester.”

“And I you, Dan Howell,” I said, twining my fingers with his.

We lay down, though it was probably too early to go to bed, and slept. I dreamt of a fire that swallowed the Shadowland whole.


	15. DAN'S POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil live in a world where wealth is based on how bright your life is. Literally. Dan has never seen anything in a light source brighter than a candle. This is exactly what the nobles want; they brainwash the people of the shadows and teach them that those in the sunlight are martyrs, protecting the poor with their walls casting darkness over their streets. Phil is a member of one of the most prestigious noble families living in the light, but he longs to feel the chilly embrace of the inky blackness below his balcony. When he escapes his world of wealth and meets Dan, he accidentally sets in motion a rebellion that could destroy his world of light. Will he follow his heart and fight beside Dan, or will the call of wealth and power be too strong? The dark ones' time has come to rise from their world of shadows, but at what cost to the light?

I never put much thought into how I was going to turn a bunch of malnourished people into a strong enough army to topple the Wall. I know, I know, poor forethought on my part. My brothers, Phil, and Jessica were sure to remind me of that the day we were to meet with the army. 

Yet I apparently work very well under pressure, for here we were. Standing in front of a ragtag band of thousands instructing them on the use of weapons. It was all rather organized, actually. We’d split the army up into equal groups that rotated between us. Pj gave the basics on all the guns, Louise the melee weapons (swords, that is), I the grenades (because I wanted to make sure everyone saw the damage throwing one too late could do to your face), Chris the flame thrower (I know, I’m the best brother ever), Phil the medkits and biochemical weapons, and Jessica the whip. I don’t know why, but she’d insisted on training with the cursed tool. Part of me felt it was her way of avenging Becky while she was stuck down here, unable to save her. 

Though we were two kilometres away from Pj’s group, the sound of gunshots still rang softly in the air. I adjusted the dusty lantern sitting on the table behind me and picked up a deep blue grenade. I held it aloft and explained, “If given this weapon, you have to pull the pin at just the right moment and do not under any circumstances throw it. You have to keep it tight to your body in order for it to shoot electricity in a five-metre arc around your body. The voltage is enough to kill something ten times the size of an average person, which is why you must not drop it while it’s going off or pull the pin if your nearby comrades aren’t literally touching you. If you aren’t touching it, it will zap you as well. This is the only grenade you must hold onto, which is probably why it’s such a recognizable color. Blue, remember that. Got it?”

As a unit, the group shouted, “Yes, sir!”

I nodded, “Good. Remember, this is all new technology to us, so no question is stupid. If you find anything confusing or need a refresher, do not be afraid to ask any of your commanding officers. Okay?”

Again they said, “Yes, sir!”

I smiled grimly. “You are brothers and sisters now. Get to know each other. Help each other. Protect each other. Love each other, if possible. Your fellow soldier is not your enemy, the Sunland is. Save your fire for them. Without each other, we won't win. I might be your leader, but I am also your friend. The Sunland has kept us down here like rodents. It's time to show them we are much more, capable of fighting and loving and living. We are more than they are. We are a people--a family--united. Remember that, soldiers. Dismissed.”

I watched them jog off to end the day with Louise and couldn't help but wonder if we could really do it. If we could really take over the Sunland.

***

“Maybe you misunderstand my intentions,” Louise said darkly.

“I'm not sure anymore, friend,” Jessica responded calmly. “You say you are Dan’s ally, yet you hide behind his back.”

“What are you talking about? Speak, else I leave.” With a frown, I added, “I'm irritated that you insisted on meeting without telling me why. What has Louise done?”

Jessica spat on the ground. “Some of the Darklanders bare a mark different from the revolutionaries’. Why is that, Louise?”

“When did you notice this?” I asked. What could Louise be doing? Jessica's many warning returned to me. What if Louise didn't believe in the common good and only wanted more control?

If that were the case, I wouldn't be able to forgive my naivety. 

Louise tossed her head, stubborn pride blazing in her dark eyes. “It's true I marked some of my men--”

“That's where you're wrong, you bitch,” Jessica snarled. “They're Dan’s men. They're Dan’s army. You are an ally, but you gave your men to Dan when you became such.”

“Jessica,” I warned. The last thing I needed was a fight between my second-in-command and my supposed ally. That would add unnecessary complications. Such as grudges between two women who were never friends to begin with.

She quieted, but Louise crossed her arms over her chest indignantly. “Remember that if I leave, Jessica, so do my men. They are loyal to Dan only because of me. Neither of you would do well to forget that.”

“I know that, Louise. But if Jessica is telling the truth and you marked some of your men with your own emblem, you have put us in quite a position.” I pointed out. 

“What’s the problem, General?” She spat the title like an accusation. “If we’re really allies, what’s wrong with me marking my own men? They belong to me.”

“You gave them to me in exchange for a place with the rebel leaders,” I reminded her, my patience waning. “If you have forgotten that, I am not afraid to remind you.”

She smirked and I had to fight the anger rising in my chest. Jessica had been right. Louise was only in this for herself, for the power she believed she could gain. But anyway I spun it, I needed her. The Darklanders were too valuable to risk losing, even if their leader was a greedy twat. “Rest assured,” she said with venom in her voice, “I don’t plan on defying you.”

“You already have,” Jessica snapped.

Louise’s eyes flashed at her. “Have I? I don’t recall it being explicitly clear that I wasn’t to claim my own soldiers.”

I rubbed my face. We spoke as if they were tools, not people. Were we no better than the Sunlanders? “The men and women chose to be marked by me. No one had to. But it seems you forced the Darklanders into getting your symbol.”

“Forced? They’re my brothers. They will do what I ask them to do.” Louise stepped closer, close enough that I could feel her breath on my throat. “Which is why I suggest you stay on my good side.”

“We’re allies, Louise,” I said, making sure she could hear the underlying warning. “Let’s not forget that I’m the general here, and you and Jessica are lieutenants.” 

She cracked a smile. “My apologies, sir. I’ll try to remember my place from now on.”

Though I felt a dark blob settling in my stomach, I decided to let the matter rest. What could she do? We were working toward the same goal. Though she had more people, my men were stronger. If it came to a battle between us, I’d win. “Good. Dismissed.”

Louise left before Jessica, who whispered by my ear, “You’re playing with explosives more dangerous than grenades.” 

I pursed my lips, but couldn’t think of anything to say before she left the room.

When I returned home, Phil was sitting cross-legged by the fireplace with a little girl. Upon squinting closer, I realized it was Darcy. She was holding up a straw doll, eagerly showing it off. Phil was smiling kindly at her but turned his face to shine the blinding light of it on me when I walked through the door. I stretched my lips in return, unable to conjure a true grin for him. 

Darcy looked up too, blinking at me like she forgot who I was. Then, she giggled. “Shadowman, Shadowman! You’re here, Shadowman! General Dan!” She let loose a howl of laughter. “General Dan!”

What did Phil find so fascinating about this child? When he stood, Darcy reached her arms up demandingly and he hauled her into his arms. She whooped as he picked her up, her laughter never stopping. I dropped my coat by the door. “Hey, guys.”

Phil furrowed his brows, his smile fading. “What’s wrong?”

I glanced at Darcy. She was a child, but a weird one. What would she do with such information, especially when it was about her mother? I shook my head. “Just a busy day.”

Phil frowned, but let it go. “Yeah, not everyone is cut out for healthcare.”

I could help but smile. “Oh? And how was your day?”

“Well, at least a quarter of everyone I trained puked when I brought out the blood dummies. It was just paste!”

Darcy squirmed out of Phil’s arms and then offered me a cup of liquid. I had hardly lifted it before I pulled my head back. “Is this alcohol?”

“Sunland sake, to be precise,” Phil said.

“Where did you get it?”

“The military compound. You completely bypassed every room that didn’t have a gun in it, which left the really good stuff in the offices!”

I brought the cup to my lips and said, “I never took you for a drinker.”

Phil waved his hand and took a swig from a glass on the table. “You gotta celebrate life while you can.”

It occurred to me that my boyfriend was probably buzzed. I glanced at Darcy. “Do you need a place to stay tonight?”

She wrinkled her nose and skipped to the door. “I’m not a dummy, General Dan. Do you want me to go? I can play with the shadows if so! We’ll dance and play and sing and then go home.”

“Then do that,” I said, praying she’d obey. I set down my glass before I could taste the sweet-smelling alcohol.

She curtsied and then darted out the door. Thank god. When the door creaked shut behind her, I grabbed Phil’s arm before he could touch the cup to his lips again. “What are you doing?”

Phil wrinkled his nose. “Drinking, Bear, what does it look like?”

I had been kidding when I said I was going to call him Lion. But apparently he had been dead serious about Bear.

He lifted his glass again and I let him, dropping my hand to my side. The milky alcohol disappeared and he quickly set about a refill. Hesitantly, I sipped the sake. It was sweet like nectar, but burned as it travelled into my belly. “Are you okay, Phil?”

“Fine, Bear, I’m fine,” he muttered.

“I don’t believe you.”

He sighed. “You want to know what’s wrong? I’m terrified.” He teetered forward and I caught his shoulders. The second glass followed the first and he clumsily poured a third.

I shook my head, “Of what? Phil, please talk to me.”

“Of you, Bear,” he said, and burped. “Of losing you to this bloody war. I don’t want to be a part of it, but I’m yours now, aren’t I? So I have no choice.”

“You have plenty of choice,” I said, though it wasn’t true. He had less of a choice than any of my soldiers. All because he was from the Sunland.

He scoffed, downed his third glass of sake, and said, “Just so you know, I wasn’t getting hammered with Darcy here. That was my first glass. But she’s gone now, so this”-- he held up a sloshing forth glass-- “is fair game.”

I didn’t respond. But I was too sick to touch anymore of the sake, so I set my glass on the table and gently took Phil’s before he could fill it for the fifth time. Phil would never tell me he was afraid. He would never do something so unselfless. So I suppose it was good he got himself so slammed. At least now I know what plagues him. But what to do with this new information?

Phil suddenly flung his arms around my shoulders. “Take me to bed, would you, my love?”

Oh god.

“Yeah, alright.”

It certainly was a trip to get to our bedroom (I think that after a few months it’s safe to say “our”). Phil staggered a jagged line even with my arm clamped tightly around his torso. He groaned once I lowered him onto the bed. His arms waved about until he managed to wrap them messily around me. “Lay with me.”

“You’re drunk,” I pointed out.

“Haven’t you ever been drunk?”

“Certainly, but I never asked someone to take advantage of me at the time,” I said.

He sighed, “I’m asking you to lay with me.”

“I’m not stupid, Phil,” I said. “I know what you really want.”

“Me?” 

I rolled my eyes. “Not tonight.”

“Where will you sleep?” 

“Here, just with pants on.”

“I can work with that.” Phil said, and his voice would have been too good to ignore if he hadn’t slurred the last word.

I helped him take off his shirt--only his shirt--and then tucked him into bed. He reached his arm up and I grabbed his hand. “Please sleep,” I whispered.

He groaned, but his eyes slid shut. I sat and read by candlelight until his breathing deepened. With a sigh, I stood, stretched, and then tugged off my shirt. Phil shifted closer to the middle of the bed when I climbed in, but didn’t wake.


	16. PHIL'S POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil live in a world where wealth is based on how bright your life is. Literally. Dan has never seen anything in a light source brighter than a candle. This is exactly what the nobles want; they brainwash the people of the shadows and teach them that those in the sunlight are martyrs, protecting the poor with their walls casting darkness over their streets. Phil is a member of one of the most prestigious noble families living in the light, but he longs to feel the chilly embrace of the inky blackness below his balcony. When he escapes his world of wealth and meets Dan, he accidentally sets in motion a rebellion that could destroy his world of light. Will he follow his heart and fight beside Dan, or will the call of wealth and power be too strong? The dark ones' time has come to rise from their world of shadows, but at what cost to the light?

What the actual fuck. 

I slowly sat up, wincing at the pain that lanced through my skull. Once the wave of nausea passed, I stood. And immediately keeled over. I stumbled over to the window and threw it open just in time to lose everything in my stomach to the shrubbery outside.

“You’re awake,” Dan said from behind me, his voice far too loud.

A long groan escaped my lips and I wiped my mouth with my sleeve before I turned to him. “Yeah. I wish I wasn’t.”

“I’m glad you are.” As if sensing my discomfort, his voice dropped to a more soothing level as he stepped closer. “How are you feeling?”

“Just ace,” I mumbled. Suddenly, he was on me. Around me. His arms snaked about my torso, holding me tightly. “What are you doing?” 

“Am I not allowed to hug my boyfriend? I’m sure as hell not kissing you after that,” he snorted. Actually snorted. The prick. 

Two bad words in one morning. I needed to get over this hangover. 

After a piece of bread, tinny water, and two good teeth-brushings, I was back. Tired, but back. Dan kissed me once my mouth was clean and I could feel his smirk against my lips. I didn’t get a chance to ask him what it was about, though, before Jessica knocked on the door and Dan had to leave. 

“Be safe,” I ordered as he reached for the doorknob.

He grinned back at me. “Don’t worry, Phil. I still can’t believe that we march soon!”

And with that, he was gone, going off to wherever the leader of rebellion goes. I left shortly after him, accompanied by Chris and Pj. We’d be needed for training later in the afternoon, but before that we needed to stock up.

I’d been to the market a few times with the two brothers before. Pj did the bartering, Chris stood guard, and I stood back and watched Pj work. Hopefully, I’d be able to go to the market with Chris and Pj could stay home and do whatever it is he does to keep the house standing.

So here I was. Pj was standing off to the side a few paces away from Chris, ready to come to my aid if I couldn’t do it myself.

“How much for a bushel?” I asked.

The merchant squinted at me. “Fifteen.”

I didn’t have to look at Chris to know I needed him to go lower. “I won’t pay that much.”

It came out like a question.

The man grimaced, leaning over his table. It was all I could do not to stumble backwards. My head was still throbbing from my hangover. He hissed, “Then maybe you should go find someone else.”

Crap.

What would Dan do?

I leaned closer, praying he couldn’t see the panic in my eyes. “Maybe you shouldn’t tell me what to do,” I said coldly.

The merchant might not have seen the fear in my eyes, but I definitely saw it when his nostrils flared. I glanced over at Pj. He was watching our exchange, but neither he nor Chris were rushing to my aid. I must not be doing as awful as I thought.

“You’re that sun man.” His breath smelled like blood and I almost puked for the second time today.

“Do you have a problem with that?” I snapped. Then, I remembered my last resort. I pushed my fringe back, brandishing Dan’s mark on my forehead. “I’m a Shadowlander now. And you’ll treat me as such. Now, lower your price.”

The merchant laughed. It was deep and loud and blasted his hot breath right into my face. “Ten.”

Wait.

Wait.

Holy crap.

Did that actually work?

Oh my god.

I had no time to process what I did, though, before Chris bumped into my shoulder. That was the code for “do it, you twit”. I counted the matches out in my pocket so the merchant wouldn’t see how many I had. (Never let them know. They’ll murder you if they know you’re a cheapskate.) 

The trade was quick. My biggest fear was dropping the matches and having them roll every which way. But I was lucky for once. Chris grabbed the bushel and we sprinted out of the markets wordlessly.

I don’t know why the Howells hate the markets so much. The second we ever step foot in them, their eyes go dead. But they still go, and perhaps that’s why I think they’re all so brave.

When we got back to the house, Pj took the wheat and began to shuck it. I moved to help him, but Chris called me into the lounge. 

He was sitting in his chair, so I curled into Dan’s spot on the couch, twisting around until I was perfectly molded into his indent. 

“What exactly do you consider your relationship with Dan?” Chris asked after a moment of awkwardly staring at me.

“He’s my boyfriend,” I said instantly. What was with Dan’s brothers? Did I come across as a bad person? “I’d never hurt him, Chris.”

“I know you wouldn’t,” he sighed. We were the same age and I was taller, but Chris always seemed larger somehow. His presence demanded attention. 

“But?”

“But I don’t think you’ll ever stop being a Sunlander.”

Why did I have to pick last night to get drunk? My head was filled with a thousand bees. I was not prepared for such an awful conversation. 

“And you bring this up now because…?” 

“Because you’re more important to Dan than I’d ever imagined.” Chris sighed, “And because I don’t want my brothers to get hurt.”

“Good thing I don’t plan on hurting him.”

“I’m talking about both of them.”

I stood, fought the dizzy spell that attacked my brain, and then stalked out of the room. What was with this family and thinking I wasn’t trustworthy? I couldn’t help what side of the wall I was born on. And what was he on about with Pj? What could I possibly do to him?

The house was silent until we left for training and afterwards, until Dan came home and tackled Pj. I was sitting at the table stirring bread dough and couldn’t help but laugh at the twins. 

When their scuffle was through, Dan grinned at me. “Hey.”

“Bear,” I greeted him, smiling like a fool.

“You know, I was joking about calling you Lion,” he said.

“And I’m glad. But I’m not joking about Bear,” I retorted. 

Pj gagged. “Really, guys, the flirting. I feel like I need to set some ground rules.” 

“Like what?” I asked.

“Like no flirting or snogging around me.”

“Achnee achnee,” Dan grinned, pressing his lips to my cheek.

“Can you stop with the weird language around me?” I groaned.

The twins broke out laughing, but never told me what Dan said. 

As the fateful day approached, I did my best to ignore the prospect of what I was about to do. It was one thing to betray your family in the dark. I was about to shove it right in their face, along with an army intent on seeing them bleed. 

I didn’t care. They were cruel to these people.

My people.

They were cruel to my people. 

I could do this.

Could I?

Of course I could. Dan needs me to. Pj and Chris need me to. Darcy needs me to. I need me to. 

But at the end of the day, I was talking about taking part in the downfall of my parents. My blood family.

But family is so much more than blood.

Dan, Chris, Pj, and Darcy are my family. 

I could kill for them.

I would.

I will.

I might.

No, I will.

If I must, that is.

Must I?

Will Dan make me?

Why would he? Surely he must know from experience what it’s like to lose a parent.

But he believes my parents deserve it.

So do I.

Well, I don’t, but I believe his reason is just.

But is justice worth it?

Of course it is. Justice is always worth it.

Is it? 

In this impossible situation, do I think with my head or my heart? With family values or the mindset of a lover? 

I love Dan.

I’ll kill for him. 

Will I kill my parents for him?

Will I have to?

But even if I don’t pull the trigger, they still die in a war I helped create.

This is necessary.

Their deaths will lead to a better life for the Shadowlanders.

Right?


	17. DAN'S POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil live in a world where wealth is based on how bright your life is. Literally. Dan has never seen anything in a light source brighter than a candle. This is exactly what the nobles want; they brainwash the people of the shadows and teach them that those in the sunlight are martyrs, protecting the poor with their walls casting darkness over their streets. Phil is a member of one of the most prestigious noble families living in the light, but he longs to feel the chilly embrace of the inky blackness below his balcony. When he escapes his world of wealth and meets Dan, he accidentally sets in motion a rebellion that could destroy his world of light. Will he follow his heart and fight beside Dan, or will the call of wealth and power be too strong? The dark ones' time has come to rise from their world of shadows, but at what cost to the light?

Weapons had been distributed. We had plenty of foodstuff. Units were lined up in a long, winding army behind me and Jessica. We were moving.

And the wall was closer than I’d ever seen it. I could even see the spikes and barbed wire.

Phil, Jessica, and I had long debated how to get around the wall. Do we wait for them to come to us? No, that’ll take too long. Do we break down the gate? No, that’d take too long and there’d be too many casualties. Do we tear down the wall? That’s so insane that it’ll definitely work. 

Maybe.

“The Sunland is really just a huge city,” Phil had explained. “The wall surrounds it. Generations ago, when the Light War was still being fought, scientists figured out how to make it so sunlight was concentrated only on a certain area. That’s why it’s so dark down here. The Shadow side of the War was defeated and cast from the light. I’m sure there are other places in the world that have sunlight.” His face clouded sadly. “But it’s probably all destroyed and filled with nuclear radiation.”

I knew what the Light War was. During the time it was actually happening, it was called World War III or something like that. It put us in this position. The story the Sunlanders fed us was that Shadowlander ancestors grew sick from the sunlight because of some blood disease. They went crazy and attacked the immune-- both sides had enough atomic bombs to lay waste to the planet. The outcome was the building of the wall, the few healthy Sunlanders in the city and the Shadowlanders on the outside. 

Phil added to the story. The Shadowlanders hadn’t gotten sick because of the sun, they’d gotten sick because of radiation from Sunland bombs. Sunlanders were a radical group of people who knew the sun wouldn’t always be shining, not with pollution and smog. So, instead of changing their ways and making life better for all, they bombed the Shadowlanders -- the “middle class” and the poor -- and hid behind a wall, building all their smoke-belching factories in the Shadowland so pollution and smog was now our problem.

How they managed to convince us they were doing it for our own good is beyond me. But brainwashing our sick, dying, radiation-filled ancestors couldn’t have been ridiculously hard.

The morning of the march was eerily quiet in my house. Pj and I stayed close together as we made preparations, perhaps to draw strength from our twin bond or something. Phil and Chris made sure to stay out of our way, as if they knew something we didn’t. As if they thought our time together was short. 

Or maybe I was just nervous and making stuff up. Pj and I would always be together. We were twins, for Christ’s sake.

“Are you ready?” Pj asked. In our twinspeak, he added, “Are you scared?” 

I stiffened in surprise. “Of course,” I said, then in twinspeak, “Definitely.”

We fell silent.

As we four left to meet Jessica and Louise, Phil took my hand but didn’t speak. 

We stopped for a break in the brightest districts and I ordered everyone to keep their eye protectors off. It’d be better to gradually ease our bodies into the light. After all, Phil said, the Sunland is far brighter than anything in the Shadowland. Looking at the glowing streetlamps burned my eyes, but I forced myself to endure. I could hardly imagine a world brighter than this. Was it like looking into a flashlight all the time? After an hour, we set off again. 

And then we were suddenly right in front of the wall.

It was massive, leaning out toward the Shadowland to cast it into darkness. Long pikes with glinting points were sticking out from the top, barbed wire strung amongst them. I was almost afraid to touch the cold, cracked concrete, but knew that if I wouldn’t, my men certainly wouldn’t. So I stepped forward, trying to hide the trembling in my fingers, and reached out. When I pressed my palm against the wall, it felt exactly the way it looked: dark, foreboding, and a little bit evil.

I gave the order and two of the twenty units -- each with about two hundred soldiers -- moved to their designated station along the wall. It took a good fifteen minutes to line up and another ten to become properly organized. I ran my hands through my hair, pacing back and forth amongst the soldiers.

We were wrong. The Sunlanders would see us. 

Phil took my hand and offered me a small smile.

He believed in me. I needed to start believing in myself. I conjured up the life that he and I could have without the wall. I could see his face, the grooves in his cheeks and the stubble on his chin, and the different flecks of colour I was sure were in his eyes. I could appreciate the way his body roiled and churned as he curled over me, sweat beading his forehead. I could see the true hue of his skin and the blackness of his hair.

Maybe, if we were as perfect as I knew we were, we’d get married. Maybe we’d adopt a kid. Who knows? Anything is possible without a wall stopping you. 

When he squeezed my hand, I didn’t hesitate to squeeze back. That was a future I would fight for. But I would also fight for every Shadowlander to get the future they dreamed of.

“To the light?” Chris asked.

“To the light,” I nodded.

And with that, a boy jogged up and handed me the detonator. I clapped him on the shoulder because apparently that’s the appropriate manly thing to do and the soldiers along the wall ran back to their ranks. When I was sure everyone was out of the way, I raised the detonator high above my head, shouted for everyone to put on their visors, and then pressed the button.

The explosion was glorious. We were a few hundred metres away, of course, but the ground still shook violently beneath my feet. A wild, victorious cry rang out as the wall--the impenetrable, irrefutable wall-- crumbled before our very eyes.

I turned to share a grin with Pj, who returned it brightly. “Ready?”

He laughed, “Definitely!”

I threw my arms around my twin. He hugged me back, speaking in my ear. But his voice was drowned out by the war cries of the army. “What?” I asked, leaning back.

Pj opened his mouth to respond, giggling again.

Then, he was thrown into me and started sputtering. Gagging. His abdomen lurched and blood suddenly spewed forth from his mouth, splattering my shirt. He reached forward, grappling at my shoulders. I stumbled beneath his weight, still not quite sure what was happening. “Pj?”

Chris yanked Pj off of me, but I remained frozen. Blood was streaked on my fingers where I’d grabbed my twin. Phil was shouting something, but I was underwater. I was drowning. I couldn’t breathe, my heart was slowing. Waves crashed against me as I stood there, unable to move by myself, and I was pushed to and fro by the rising tide. 

People are screaming.

Pj?

Why is everyone dropping? Where is everyone going?

Pj?

Peej?

Suddenly, I was on the ground with Phil on top of me. I was snapped back into awareness, though my ears still rang with pressure.

“Get up, Dan,” Phil ordered, and then he didn’t give me a chance to stand for myself before dragging me to my feet. 

“What’s happening?” I asked, my voice nothing more than a dry husk.

As I looked around, I noticed Jessica frantically trying to calm my roiling army, standing on a stack of crates and debris. Bodies were lying, unmoving, scattered throughout the ranks. Chris stood by Pj, staring up into the sky.

I followed his eyes upward. “What the fuck?”

Phil sucked in a breath through clenched teeth. “They did it. They actually did it.”

“What are you talking about?” I snapped.

Large metal contraptions hung suspended in the sky, hatches in their bellies open to reveal innards of turret machine guns. The alien machines were eerily quiet for their massive size, hovering above us and casting dark shadows. Slowly, the hatches swung closed and the machines started to lift upwards. 

Anger filled my veins and I ripped my pistol out of my belt, aimed, and fired. I probably would have kept wasting ammunition had Phil not grabbed my arm and dragged it down. “Dan!” he shouted, “Dan, stop! Stop.”

“Those fuckers! What are those things? I’ll kill them! I’ll fucking kill all of them!” I screamed.

“Daniel!” Chris’s voice rang out over the chaos. “Stop it. Pj is dead, you moron! He’s dead!”

“I know that!” I snarled. “I know that.” 

“He’s dead, and he’s not coming back. Our brother is dead. And you screaming at a bunch of flying machines won’t do any good. So stop and control your men,” he ordered. “We don’t have time to cry right now.”

I inhaled deeply. As much as I hated it, Chris was right. In a much calmer voice, I asked Phil, “What were those things?”

“Drones,” Phil murmured, still staring at the sky as if they’d reappear. “Silent attack drones. I heard rumours of their invention, but I never knew they were ready for use or else I would have said something.”

I ran my hands through my hair. Jessica hopped down, having finally reorganized the troops, and murmured, “We’ve lost at least fifty.”

Fifty. In one unmanned attack.

“Thank you,” I breathed. 

“What do we do now?” Chris asked.

I looked up at the demolished wall. We could climb over. We could finish what we started and make the Sunlanders pay for everything they’d ever done to us.

And get slaughtered.


	18. BECKY'S POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil live in a world where wealth is based on how bright your life is. Literally. Dan has never seen anything in a light source brighter than a candle. This is exactly what the nobles want; they brainwash the people of the shadows and teach them that those in the sunlight are martyrs, protecting the poor with their walls casting darkness over their streets. Phil is a member of one of the most prestigious noble families living in the light, but he longs to feel the chilly embrace of the inky blackness below his balcony. When he escapes his world of wealth and meets Dan, he accidentally sets in motion a rebellion that could destroy his world of light. Will he follow his heart and fight beside Dan, or will the call of wealth and power be too strong? The dark ones' time has come to rise from their world of shadows, but at what cost to the light?

I tried not to look up much my first few weeks in the Sunland. It wasn’t hard, as it was considered disrespectful to look the Sunlanders in the face and resulted in a lash from the painful whip.

My bones creaked as I worked at the foundation of a new mansion, but it was the only sound I made. It was better to be silent. If you weren’t heard or seen, you didn’t have to worry about the warden.

Apparently my new teammate hadn’t learned that yet.

“Excuse me, sir, when is our next break? I’m tired.”

The warden glanced at her as if she was a piece of gum stuck to the bottom of his boot. “Perhaps you should have gotten more sleep last night. Get back to work.”

“But--”

I turned my back and did my best to tune them out. She was bound for the whip and I wasn’t about to watch.

She screamed, dry and brittle, and then fell silent, whimpering quietly. When she returned to my side, I glanced sidelong at her but didn’t offer any words of consolation. That might make me the next victim. 

I tried to defy the Sunlanders when I was first shipped up here. Who were they to treat us like animals and slaves? The wounds on my back broke me after a few weeks.

I hate them. I hate them all. I’d kill every single Sunlander if I could.

My new teammate didn’t make a sound for the rest of the day. When we were sent to the barracks for the night, though, she began to cry. Some of the other workers sent her glares, but I couldn’t help but stare at her. She couldn’t have been older than thirteen and her hair was dark and frizzy. Her skin was dark, too, but still shaded with the recognizable pallid grey that the Shadowlanders were known for.

“What’s your name?” I asked.

Her head snapped up and she turned her wide eyes on me. “You didn’t help me.”

“Of course not. What good would it have done?” I pointed out.

“You could have tried.”

“Girl, I’ve had enough done to me.”

“Like what?” She asked, her voice challenging.

I turned around and tugged my shirt over my head. The girl hissed at the gashes in my back. I squirmed under her scrutiny. “You’re not the only one who’s been lashed.”

She hesitated, then said, “I’m Tanya.”

“I’m Becky.” I turned back around, letting my shirt fall back into place. “When did you get here?”

“Yesterday. I never dreamed the Sunlanders could be this cruel!” Her bottom lip quivered and I was worried she’d begin to sob again.

“Hey, it’s going to be okay.” I bit my lip, then said, “What do you think of the light?”

“It’s beautiful. It hurts my eyes, though.”

“That’ll go away in about a week. You’ll get used to it,” I promised. “Get some sleep, Tanya. You’ll feel better in the morning.”

She nodded and lay down. I rolled over, careful not to put my full weight on my back, and closed my eyes. I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep, but it was worth a shot.

***

A loud bang rang in my ears and I shot up. The ground shook beneath my feet and panic gripped my chest. I ran outside with the other workers and had to blink a few times before I could understand what was happening.

The wall was falling.

The air vibrated and five giant drones whizzed past overhead. I watched them speed towards the broken portion of the wall and felt a strange spark of hope bloom in my chest.

Some workers grumbled and returned to the barracks, but I seemed to be rooted to the spot.

Was there actually a rebellion happening?

No, that couldn’t happen. The Shadowland was filled with idiotic Sunland followers, nothing more.

“Is it happening?” A small voice asked behind me.

“Is what happening?” I said dryly.

Tanya stepped up beside me. “A boy named Dan Howell and a girl named Jessica had started putting together a revolution before I was taken away.”

Jessica. My heart began to hurt. Of course she’d do something reckless like this. I didn’t know who Dan Howell was, but he was dumb too if he believed he could beat the Sunlanders.

“I’m sure it is, but it’ll stop soon enough,” I answered.

“Maybe they need some help from us.”

I laughed humorlessly. “What could we do?”

She chewed her lip. “I don’t know, but--”

“There’s nothing we can do,” I said. 

I prayed Jessica wouldn’t get herself killed. She was my only reason for living. If she was gone, I would go too. 

“You’re not one for helping others, are you?” Tanya asked, venom laced in her words. “First me, now all of the Shadowlanders. What is it with you?”

I stared at her. Jessica would kill me if she saw me like this, cynical and hopeless. She always said there was a way to make anything change. Her parting words before I came up here were: “I’ll see you again, okay? This isn’t goodbye.”

It doesn’t have to be goodbye. Apparently, she was right down there, breaking down the wall. 

I had to get to her. I turned to Tanya. “You’re right. Let’s go.”

“What’s the plan?” She asked.

I twirled my hair around one finger. “Good question.”


	19. DAN'S POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil live in a world where wealth is based on how bright your life is. Literally. Dan has never seen anything in a light source brighter than a candle. This is exactly what the nobles want; they brainwash the people of the shadows and teach them that those in the sunlight are martyrs, protecting the poor with their walls casting darkness over their streets. Phil is a member of one of the most prestigious noble families living in the light, but he longs to feel the chilly embrace of the inky blackness below his balcony. When he escapes his world of wealth and meets Dan, he accidentally sets in motion a rebellion that could destroy his world of light. Will he follow his heart and fight beside Dan, or will the call of wealth and power be too strong? The dark ones' time has come to rise from their world of shadows, but at what cost to the light?

“We can’t give up,” Phil said fiercely.

“What are we supposed to do?” I asked.

“Fight! Go in there and finish what we started!” Jessica shouted. “You can’t be afraid of death now!”

“I’m not afraid of death,” I said calmly. “I just died. I don’t want any of the others to die.”

Phil gripped my shoulder. “You’re not dead yet, Bear. I won’t let you.”

I gazed at him. My heart fluttered when he met my eyes, but it was a muted sensation compared to the overwhelming hole that was eating itself out of my chest. “Jessica, I’m not fit to lead.”

“Yes you are!” She cried.

“No, I’m not. So do as you swore to and take over.” I turned to her. “I trust you.”

She searched my face-- for what, I don’t know-- before nodding slowly. “Alright, sir.”

She hopped back up on her pile of debris and shouted, “I am now your general and Dan is my second-in-command. We are going to finish this. We will win, but you mustn’t lose hope. We can do this.” She stopped for a moment, eyebrows furrowed in thought. Then, she said, “We are going to march into the streets and Phil is eventually going to lead us to the Sunshine Council. We are going to look forward and we are not, under any circumstances, going to attack civilians.” Louise snorted at that, but didn’t say anything. “If we are approached by the Sunland army, only then will we attack. We will occupy the lowest sector and set up base camp. Squadrons one through six head north, seven through thirteen east, and fourteen through twenty west. I will lead the north group, Chris will lead the second, and Louise the third.”

With that, she jumped down and gave the order to march. Phil took my hand and we followed her over the rubble of the wall and into the city.

It was eerily quiet as we moved through the streets. Phil whispered that the Sunlanders were probably holed up inside. Which was good if we were going to stick to Jessica’s plan, I guess.

I don’t know how long we walked. If Phil hadn’t held my hand the entire time, I probably would have stopped and had been left behind. But he dragged me along, anchoring me so I didn’t float away.

I was a fool. People were going to die and I knew that, so why did I think my family would somehow be immune? If Phil died today, I don’t think I could go on. I already lost half of myself. What would happen if I lost it all? 

“I don’t want you here,” I told him.

“Too late. I’m here and I’m staying by your side,” he snapped, tightening his grip on my hand.

I had slipped back into the fuzzy mist in my brain, so it was a shock when a bullet whizzed by my ear. Jessica was shouting commands and Phil was pulling me out of the way of the incoming ranks of Sunlanders. I grappled with the gun slung across my shoulder, but it took the help of Phil to get it in my hands. “Shoot straight, Bear,” he said softly as he pulled out his own gun.

I squinted at the mass of soldiers in front of me, but I found it impossible to aim. Instead, I just shot blindly into the horde. 

The Sunland army drew closer, so Jessica ordered the front half of the attack to draw melee weapons and charge. She then turned to me and Phil. “Do you think they’ll use the drones again?”

Phil shrugged sheepishly. “I’m not sure. They might.”

I pulled the pin on a grenade and launched it into the advancing Sunlanders. “What do you mean, ‘they might?’”

“I mean I don’t know,” he said.

“Philip Lester,” A voice suddenly shouted.

Phil and I froze. We turned around and Phil sucked in a breath. “Martyn.”

A man who looked eerily like Phil stood in front of a small black vehicle. grinned cruelly. “Dad will definitely be glad I found you.”

“I’m not going with you,” Phil snarled.

“You don’t have a choice,” Martyn said. “Get in the car.”

I drew my knife and stepped between Phil and the Sunlander. “I’ll fucking kill you if you lay a hand on him.”

“Ah, found a shadow man to fuck while you were down there? Did you make sure this one was gay?” Martyn taunted.

Phil bristled and fury flooded my throat. Jessica mumbled something about me handling this before turning back to the battle. I glanced at Phil. “Just give me the word and I’ll stick this knife in his throat.”

“Calm down, Dan,” he muttered. 

“Are you going to let your little whore talk to me like that, Philly?” Martyn asked. “Who would have thought a few months in the Shadowland would make you forget your brother.”

I froze. Phil grabbed my hand and said, “I’m not going with you, Martyn.”

“Too bad, Phil,” Martyn shrugged. “I was hoping you’d come willingly and there wouldn’t have to be any unnecessary deaths. I’ll call off the army if you come.”

The sounds of gunfire and death were hurting my head, and the added anger wasn’t helping me make any rational decisions about the sudden situation. 

Phil hesitated and I tightened my grip on his hand. “Don’t even think about it, Phil,” I hissed. “I won’t lose you too.”

My boyfriend stepped around me, caressed my cheek softly, and whispered, “I love you, Dan.”

With that, he tugged his hand out of my grip and began to walk towards his brother. Martyn smiled. “Good on you, Phil.”

I watched my last reason for living walk away. Phil didn’t turn back. He only followed Martyn into the car. I was forced to watch as it sped off, my legs refusing to move after it.

The army didn’t leave. We were forced to kill enough to make them retreat. Phil was stupid to think going with the Sunlander would get us what we wanted.

Jessica took one look at me and ordered two men to escort me back to the safe zone. When I opened my mouth to fight her, she only lifted her hand to stop me. “You’ll only be distracted.”

“Let me go after Phil!” I snapped.

“No, Dan,” she said, and then instructed the men to take me back. She looked me in the eyes and said darkly, “This is an order, Howell.”

I opened my mouth, but snapped it shut again. “Yes, ma’am.”

She nodded and turned back to the squadrons. “Move out, men.”

The two men walked at my sides through the streets. One of them murmured, “I’m sorry for your loss, sir.”

I almost laughed at him. Loss? What loss? Oh, you mean the loss of myself? Pj might not have been my identical twin, but we were still one blood. Ours was a bond few Shadowlanders could ever understand. I didn’t experience a loss. I experienced my heart being ripped out of my chest and then shoved back inside, forcing me to continue living even when part of myself was gone. 

Even thoughts of Phil didn’t fill the hole. I didn’t even know if he was still alive. 

When I didn’t respond, the men fell silent. Perhaps they felt the emptiness of the hole in my abdomen, like a disease that leached off my skin. The one who had spoken drifted a few centimetres away, as if he was afraid of it. As if by opening his mouth, he’d invited it to hop to him. I almost told him not to worry. There was no way this grief could be had by anyone but me. 

I stumbled sometimes as I walked, as if a tornado was sweeping me to and fro. The first few times, the soldiers went to right me, but it only took me jerking away from their grips a few times before they got the message. Don’t touch me. My skin might crumble like the wall we blew up this morning.

Pj was with me when we blew up the wall. Phil was too.

Somehow I ended up on my knees, and it was then that the soldiers decided to carry me. They stuck their arms under mine and dragged me along as I staggered between them. They didn’t speak, hardly even breathed. Even they knew that no words could save me.

This is death. This is what it feels like. An empty abyss. 

But Phil said I was still alive.

But Phil also promised to stay by my side.

Phil is a liar.

Pj was my twin. We were one blood. We were supposed to stay together forever. He always said so whenever I became so scared of the dark I couldn’t think straight. He promised to protect me from the shadows forever.

Pj is a liar.

And if I’m not already dead, I’m definitely close.

Phil would want me to go on without them.

But he always overestimated my strength.

I can’t do this.

I could never do this.

I’m nothing.

We stopped when we reached the hole in the wall. I murmured, “I can go on from here.”

“Sorry, sir,” the apologetic one said sadly. “We have our orders. We will escort you back to base camp.”

With that, the silent one nudged me forward and we climbed over the rubble of the wall. I slipped with every step, the uneven chunks of concrete shifting and quaking beneath my feet. Smoke still rolled out from the piles of debris and the acrid stench of sulphur and gunpowder permeated the air. It slammed into my nostrils and breathing through my mouth only proved that you taste what you smell. How come I didn’t notice it the first time I trekked over the rubble?

When we made it to the camp of haphazard tents, the men still didn’t leave my sides. In fact, they didn’t walk off at all until I was safely in my tent-- the tent I was supposed to share with Phil, Pj, and Chris-- and even then they stood guard outside. Maybe they were worried I’d wander off and it’d be all their fault. 

I wouldn’t wander. I’d know exactly where I was going. Kind of. 

Where would an incredibly rich family take their rebellious son? Would they torture him? Would they welcome him back, make him apologize, and pretend this never happened? Would they kill him? 

I wasn’t about to sit here and never find out.

It was surprisingly easy to slip out of the tent. All it took was using my combat knife to cut open a man-sized hole in the thick canvas and slipping out. I wasn’t sure if the guards heard my vandalism, but I climbed over the wall and into the Sunland before I could find out. 

Phil had described the Sunland as just a giant city, with the Sunshine Council’s members living in vast estates in the center. I had to try to stick to the shadows-- what shadows there were, that is-- so the threat of getting lost in the winding streets constantly hung over my head. A city, maybe, but a behemoth of one. After awhile of slinking aimlessly north, I began to lose hope. How could I hope to get to the Sunshine Estates without the help of a Sunlander? But then I forced myself to imagine Pj, grey and stiff, and then Phil by his side. My pace quickened. 

The Sunland wasn’t as bright as I expected. Sure, the sun (the namesake of the city, obviously) was painful and Phil had warned us Shadowlanders against looking directly into it, but the land itself wasn’t nearly as bright as a flashlight. I even braved taking off my visor after a few hours. Though I had to squint against the glare, it was worth it to see hues of colours I never even knew existed.

The buildings were colours of orange and pink and yellow, like the sun. But the pink was entirely different from maroon, and the orange wasn’t like mud. The yellow gleamed in the natural light. Some of the roofs were blue-- deep blue, but it gleamed like a diamond-- and purple, glimmering like gems. As I drew closer to the centre of the city, people began to appear in the main streets, actually walking on the pavement. Vehicles (cars?) rolled lazily by, their incredible colours making them look like massive, brilliant insects. 

And the people! Their skin was golden and bronze, kissed by the rays of sunlight, and their heads boasted extravagant hair in shades of blond and red and silver. They wore thin, billowing dresses and shirts without holes and clean shoes. I looked down at myself, amazed to see my skin in technicolour for the first time. 

I looked like the pallid, sickly creature these people loathed.

“Hey!” A man shouted as I hovered at the edge of an alley’s shadow. 

I turned, confused. “Yes?”

A large man with puffed out cheeks and burning eyes glared at me. “Get back with the group, worker.”

Before I could think to explain that I wasn’t a worker, he’d hustled me to a group of shadow slaves. I stared at them, sickened by their burnt grey skin and hunched backs. One girl looked up as I neared, her eyes bright. She suddenly grabbed me after a few moments of me watching the group sweep the pavement. “Look,” she hissed, “I’ve never seen you, so I bet you’re with the revolution. I want to help, but if you don’t want to get whipped, you need to pretend to be one of us.”

She shoved a broom in my hands and I robotically obeyed her command, though I needed to go. I needed to be far away from here, saving Phil. Instead, I murmured, “Who are you?”

Her eyes sparkled when she answered. “Becky.”


	20. PHIL'S POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil live in a world where wealth is based on how bright your life is. Literally. Dan has never seen anything in a light source brighter than a candle. This is exactly what the nobles want; they brainwash the people of the shadows and teach them that those in the sunlight are martyrs, protecting the poor with their walls casting darkness over their streets. Phil is a member of one of the most prestigious noble families living in the light, but he longs to feel the chilly embrace of the inky blackness below his balcony. When he escapes his world of wealth and meets Dan, he accidentally sets in motion a rebellion that could destroy his world of light. Will he follow his heart and fight beside Dan, or will the call of wealth and power be too strong? The dark ones' time has come to rise from their world of shadows, but at what cost to the light?

When I was a child, my father always terrified me. He was a large man with a booming, thunderous voice and an unkind look in his icy eyes. He never liked me, but Martyn was his pride and joy. I used to hate Martyn for that, but when I was eight, I saw something happen that made me never envy my brother again. 

It was a stormy night. The Sunland didn't often experience downpours or lightning, though it never was arid, and it was the first storm I had ever seen. The thunder was so loud it shook the mansion and rain slammed against my window, unrelenting and cruel. After a bolt of lightning bright enough to hurt my wide eyes flashed across the sky, I jumped out of bed and shuffled down the hall to my brother’s room. Father would have been in a rage if I woke up my parents, but my childish mind was sure my brother would protect me.

Martyn wasn’t in his room, but I heard his and Father’s voices down the hall. So, being the stupid child I was, I crept towards the noise until I eased open a door that had always been locked.

At first, I only saw Martyn. I grinned and almost barged in, but then I saw my father and the other man, who was sitting and bleeding in a chair. 

“He looks like Phil,” Martyn was saying.

“Indeed,” Father nodded. “Phil has shadow blood in his veins.”

“What do you mean, Father?” Martyn asked.

Instead of answering his question, Father stepped toward the dark-haired man slumped in the chair. “The Shadowlanders are sick and insane. You mustn’t trust any of them.”

“I know, Father,” Martyn said.

“Your brother is the son of a male Shadowlander,” Father said coldly. “Your whore of a mother tried to hide it, but once I saw the child’s hair I knew. No Sunlander was so grey-skinned and black-haired.”

“Did you punish Mother?” Martyn asked, and only I could sense the trace of fear in his voice.

“Of course not,” Father laughed. “She is punished every time she looks at Phil.”

There was silence for a long moment where all I could hear was the man in the chair’s ragged breath. Then, Martyn whispered, “Why am I here?”

“You are going to help me, my son,” Father smiled cruelly. “This man tried to start an uprising amongst the workers. He must be made an example of.”

I didn’t know what my father was talking about. But Martyn slowly nodded, so I thought for sure it was okay. 

That is, until my father handed Martyn a knife. 

This was the same room that Martyn killed that man, but now it was I that was the Shadowlander. My father wasn’t quite as large now that I was over six feet tall, but he still had the same demeaning, hard gaze that shrunk me back into that eight-year-old boy. I wasn’t afraid of him anymore, though.

“What do you want?” I asked.

He didn’t sit, so neither did I. We stood, shoulders squared and arms crossed, and stared at each other. I found that I couldn’t look him in the eye, though, no matter how hard I tried. This was the man I swore to kill if the moment came. My own father.

“What are you doing, boy?” he asked.

I told him my thoughts, how I’d planned on killing him, in a cold, dry voice. When he didn’t respond, I added, “But I guess it’s not so bad, as you’re not really my father, are you?”

“Your father was a shadow worker. I think you should be happy I kept you. I could have sent you to work with your people, or left you to die beyond the wall.”

“So why did you keep me?” 

“Because the hospital was brimming with people when you were born. Your birth was a disgrace, but one that could never be brought to light. If you suddenly disappeared, more people would question it than I had time to pay off. So, you became my son.” He smiled darkly. “And now you’ve returned to your Shadow people. How poetic. Tell me, what is it like down there?”

“Wonderful,” I spat, and it was the truest thing I’d ever said. “I made friends who quickly became my family. I fell in love and it was real. And I helped create the revolution those people desperately needed.”

“But won’t get,” Father said calmly, turning away from me. “Soon the drones will be ready for a full scale attack. If the Sunland soldiers can’t stop them, I will murder them all with a quick strike.”

“Are you not worried about where they are? If you launch a drone attack, you’ll kill Sunlanders as well,” I pointed out. 

“If that is what must be done, so be it,” he snapped.

I glanced around, but the room was pretty empty. Only two chairs facing each other, separated by a desk with a neat stack of papers and a silver fountain pen sitting on top. I found myself entranced by its point, black from its ink. 

Father broke through the trance, though, and said, “You will not win, Philip. So why don’t you tell me what you know and we can put this all behind us.”

I tore my gaze from the pen to his stern face. “I will not.”

“Excuse me? You forget who your family is, boy!” Father shouted.

“Then bring me my mother and brother. I won’t tell them anything, but they’re my real family, are they not?”

“Oh, I’ll bring them to you. Guards!”

With that, two men marched into the room. I turned to face them, but one of them hit me over the head and everything fell out from under my feet.

***

I was somehow back in the Shadowland. But after my trip to the Sunland, my eyes were blind to the dark again. I blinked and squinted and could barely make out the shape of the room. It was the right size, but far too clean to be Dan’s bedroom. And besides, how would I have gotten there? 

Slowly, I became aware of a dull ache in my skull. I tried to push myself up, but my head was stuck to the pillow. It took some pushing and a lot of searing pain in my head to sit up, and when I did I found that it wasn’t glue that had stuck me to the hard bed but dried blood, and lots of it. Nausea swam through my brain as I stood, and I rocked backwards again onto the cot. For fear of vomiting, I quickly lay back down. “Dan?” I called softly into the darkness.

No answer came, so I forced myself to sit up again. Then, it hit me with the shot of pain in my head. This wasn’t Dan’s room in the Shadowland. This was a cell in the Lester house. 

I stumbled to my feet and dragged myself to the door, vainly trying the handle. Locked, as I knew it’d be, but what cynical bastard wouldn’t try? I turned back to the room, my eyes slowly adjusting, and felt hot tears seeping from the corners of my eyes. 

How stupid could I possibly be? Dan was probably dead now. Did I really believe my family would call off the Sunland army if I went with my brother? They didn’t love me enough. The revolution probably failed, for if it didn’t, wouldn’t I be free? Or maybe they hadn’t found me yet. I opened my mouth and murmured Dan’s name, over and over, louder and louder, until I was screaming it and I didn’t stop, not until my voice cracked and dissipated. With that, I sat down against the door and curled my knees to my chest. 

Slowly, fury bloomed in my stomach. How dare they lock me in here? I’d kill them. I’d do it for Dan, whether he was here or not. 

After a few hours, the door creaked open. By this time, I was shaking with rage. I raised my head and grinned madly at my father. “Hey, Dad.” My voice was harsh from misuse. 

“I was told you were awake.”

“Seems you were told true,” I said.

“About time. It’s been two days. Your mother was worried you wouldn’t wake up.” He stepped closer and knelt to get eye-level with me. “You were kidnapped and taken to the Shadowland by workers.”

“What?”

He continued with a grimace that betrayed his anger, “You tricked the rebels to bring you back to the Sunland, where you escaped with your brother. But not before you were attacked by the rebel leader.”

“Why are you saying this?”

“Because if the Sunlanders know that my own son, heir to the throne, was sided with them, I will lose my power. And I will not let a bastard do that to me.”

“And if I refuse?”

“I’ll rain fire down on the Shadowland and kill every single one, even the workers,” he said, softly enough that I knew he was telling the truth.

Dan wouldn’t want me to. But Father wouldn’t care this much if the leaders of the revolution were dead, right? Dan was alive. Of course he was, I’d feel it if he wasn’t. 

I couldn’t let him die. With only this in my mind, I murmured, “Okay.”

He smiled, but his mouth was full of fangs.


	21. DAN'S POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil live in a world where wealth is based on how bright your life is. Literally. Dan has never seen anything in a light source brighter than a candle. This is exactly what the nobles want; they brainwash the people of the shadows and teach them that those in the sunlight are martyrs, protecting the poor with their walls casting darkness over their streets. Phil is a member of one of the most prestigious noble families living in the light, but he longs to feel the chilly embrace of the inky blackness below his balcony. When he escapes his world of wealth and meets Dan, he accidentally sets in motion a rebellion that could destroy his world of light. Will he follow his heart and fight beside Dan, or will the call of wealth and power be too strong? The dark ones' time has come to rise from their world of shadows, but at what cost to the light?

Becky didn’t talk to me again until we were done working. I was hit twice for being too slow, but it was nice to feel something, I guess. It didn’t encourage me to speed up, I hardly even uttered a noise at the pain. Blood stuck my shirt to my back and flies were always close by, looking for a taste of sweat. But all I could feel was a dull throb in the whip gashes, nothing more. I felt the incredulous looks of the workers, and then their second glances when they realized that they’d never seen me before. 

If I was in the right mind, I’d probably try to start a revolt with the workers the second the guards locked us in for the night. But I didn’t. I only sat down on the floor at Becky’s feet and let her poke and prod at the oozy flesh on my back. A girl sat cross-legged beside me, gazing at me with wide eyes. I stared back-- which might seem weird-- but there must have been something dead about my eyes because she finally looked away.

Becky murmured, “What happened to you? Why don’t you feel pain?”

I didn’t hesitate in my answer, but I also didn’t really want to offer a response. The truth was ridiculous, but the truth seemed to be all I had left in me. “I died.”

Becky’s healing fingers hesitated and the dark-skinned girl scooted closer. Tanya, I think, whispered, “You’re Dan Howell.”

“I think so,” I said, my voice little more than a breath.

“Is Phil okay?” Tanya asked.

She was young, like Darcy, though probably a few years older. Shadowland children often looked younger than they were from malnutrition. I answered, “I don’t know.”

“What are you doing here?” she asked.

“Tanya,” Becky scolded. “It’s rude to ask a dead man so many questions.”

“He’s not dead, he’s just sad,” Tanya sassed. “I’m sad too, Dan. That’s how I know.”

Becky pushed herself up and wiped her hands on her ratty pants. “That’s the best I can do. And as for you,” she turned to Tanya, “leave him alone.”

“I’ll do as I please!”

Shushes rang up from around the room and Tanya dropped her head, pursing her lips sheepishly. 

I said to Becky, “Jessica is looking for you. She’s leading the revolution.”

She froze. Then, she grinned. “Jessica? Really?”

Words crammed on my tongue and filled my throat, choking me. Instead of using them, I nodded. Becky sat back, a soft smile playing at her lips. “Jessica. Wow.” She shook her head, “I knew she would do it. I knew it. She better not die.”

Like Pj. I pushed myself to my feet and walked to the barred window. Even the night was brighter than the Shadowland, with orbs called “stars” and the moon, as big as the sun. Becky had laughed when I noticed how the night had its own sun, and explained the difference. I still wasn't sure what the night sky lights were exactly, but at least I knew their names. 

Tanya appeared at my side. She was small, even for a Shadowlander, but her black hair was massive enough to make up for it. “Do you want to see my back?”

“Why would I want to see your back?” 

“Solidarity,” she said plainly in a voice only a young teenager could use. 

I crossed my arms, but didn’t respond. She turned and pulled up her shirt, displaying angry red lines drawn across her pallid black skin. I didn’t gasp-- what would have been the point? It’d be stupid to be surprised. We weren’t people to the Sunland. Tanya said, “I cried my first day. Becky made it better, though. She took care of my wounds and became my friend.”

“She is very kind,” I offered. 

Tanya nodded. “So are you. You’re just sad right now.”

“You already said that,” I pointed out.

“Yeah, but I don’t think you believe me.” 

I couldn’t come up with a dignified response. Becky came over and wiped her hands on her ragged pants. She sighed, “You two better go to sleep. Tanya because she’s a child and you, Dan Howell, because you’re so sad.”

Tanya was childish enough to refuse, stating that Becky wasn’t her mother, but eventually obeyed the command. I simply went and laid down on the cot as told, staring at the ceiling. 

I don’t think I slept. I doubt I even closed my eyes-- not even after the night turned into a lilac dawn. Whenever my lids slid shut, all I could see was Pj’s body splattered across the dusty ground. And where was Phil? Where was my lion? He was supposed to protect me. I was supposed to protect him. That’s what people do when they love each other, right? I failed them both.

Chris drifted through my head too, his eyes glimmering sadly as we gazed down on our fallen brother. We might not have been best friends, but he was all the family I had left. And where was he now? 

The workers woke up one by one, dragging themselves to the sinks to clean themselves as best they could. They had no other clothes, so they shook their ratty shirts away from their clammy skin and patted their armpits with damp cloths. Becky roused, nodded tiredly to me, and trudged to join the bathing crowd. 

Tanya was one of the last to wake up. She glanced at Becky and wrinkled her nose. “I'm not going over there.”

“Why?”

“Because,” she stated in a voice only a thirteen-year-old could master, “it's gross, everyone just crowded around and splashing themselves. It doesn't do any good, anyway, they still all smell like crap.” 

“As do you,” I pointed out.

She rolled her eyes. “And you will too after a few days.”

“I won't be here for a few days. I have people to find and take care of,” I said.

Tanya blinked, “Do you really think you can escape?”

I ran a hand through my oily hair. “I've done crazier things.” 

Becky sat down beside us, her hair still damp. She didn’t smell any better, so I guess Tanya had a point. I stared at her, trying to decide who she was to Jessica and Louise. Sister? Lover? Friend? Whatever it was, it was a strong bond for Jessica to search for her so wholeheartedly. 

Jessica. How was she? She was a much better leader than me. She’d probably already demoted Louise for her borderline treachery and taken half the city. And here I sat, considering whether or not to drown myself in a sink. Jessica didn’t know if Becky was alive, yet she still fought for her.

I jumped to my feet, fisting my hands. “We have to get out of here. All three of us. We have to get you” --I thrusted a finger in Becky’s face-- “back to Jessica and you” --to Tanya-- “back to whoever you have left in the Shadowland.”

“Not that I don’t agree with you, Dan,” Becky gently pushed my arm down, “but that’s not something you should be shouting in here. You never know who’ll turn you in for a scrap of food or cloth.”

My ears began to burn and I sat back down. “Right.”

Becky leaned forward. “I have an idea. I heard that a party was being held at the palace tonight. Everyone in the Sunland will be there, considering everyone has evacuated the lower districts and it’d be rude to not include them.”

“Your point?” I asked.

“My point, Dan Howell, is that all the help they can get will be needed. That means all of the shadow workers. And in all that chaos, who’s to notice one worker disappearing?”

I hesitated, then murmured, “But how am I to find Phil?”

“Go up. The prisons are on the top floors because it’s unbearably hot up there.”

“How do you know?”

“I’ve cleaned up after executions,” Becky said in a voice as soft as a knife. “They’re often messy about it.”

Tanya voiced the question we were all pondering. “Will Phil still be alive?”

Becky hesitated and I whispered, “Don’t lie.”

A muscle in her neck twitched and she scratched at it. “I can’t say for sure. I’d like to believe he is.”

“But you don’t know for sure,” Tanya said.

“Tanya, I don’t know,” Becky snapped. “Does it look like I can read minds? See into the future? If I could, I’d have found a way out of here by now.” 

That explosion seemed to take away the rest of Becky’s strength. She sighed, slumped forward, and murmured, “I’m sorry I have nothing better for you, Dan. But this is the best chance you have right now.”

Suddenly, a siren went off in the barracks. I leapt to my feet, panic gripping my throat. Becky rolled her eyes. “Time to get to work.”

“That’s your alarm?!” I cried, my heart still pounding. 

“It works better than coffee to wake you up,” Becky shrugged.

The foreman stepped into the barrack. I followed the workers’ lead and stood by my cot. The boss was a big Sunlander, at least six and a half feet tall, and rippled with muscle. He reminded me of a war veteran, firm lines pressed into the skin around his mouth from frowning and shouting. I dared not imagine what had made him so strong, but I couldn’t help noticing the whip coiled at his hip.

His voice was fit to be owned by an inhuman giant. “You will all be going to the Sunshine Estates today. Move out.”

I had expected something more. How did anyone know what they were doing? Were questions allowed? Or did they have to just go with the flow and hope they wouldn’t get whipped?

But the crowd of workers began to march toward the door, so I turned and followed Becky, doing my best not to seem suspicious to the foreman. I probably could have tangoed out of the room wearing a bright pink suit and he wouldn’t notice-- he seemed undead. I’m sure a life of hitting people who weren’t doing their jobs properly would do that to a man, though. 

“Hey,” Becky hissed. “Look alive, Howell. This is your chance, don’t mess it up. Slip away as soon as you can and go to the prisons.”

“On the top floor,” I bobbed my head obediently. “Find Phil and get him out of that hell.”

Becky smiled grimly. “You got it. Tanya and I will try to make an opening for you to leave, but once we do, you can’t hesitate. You have to go and not look back.”

“Okay,” I whispered, giddy despite myself. A rescue mission! And, if done properly, a chance to have Phil again. 

Of course, once we got to the Sunshine Estates’ district--a gated community of glittering gold houses belonging to the the Sunshine Council members and their families--we were put directly to work. Though the party was only at the Lester family house, the workers had to clean the entire district. The streets were to be swept clean, the fountains to be scrubbed, and the shrubbery to be trimmed into ridiculously frilly designs. I, by virtue of my incredible luck, had to clean the gate so that it sparkled when the Sunlanders entered. That is, I was left far, far away from the Lester house. 

I was never good at scrubbing. I didn’t have much of an eye for detail; that was always P-- my brother’s strength. But I forced myself to squint at every inch of the gold gate. As I washed it, I found that it wasn’t real gold, just iron painted yellow. 

Finally, after a good two hours of washing the damn gate, I was finished and ordered to make my way north to the Michayl house, the family seated two below the Lesters on the Sunshine Council. Hope blossomed, small and sickly, in my chest. I was close enough to smell the roasting meat at the Lester house’s kitchens and hear the bustle of the servants preparing for the party. 

I found Tanya working on trimming the Michayl house’s hedges into prancing stags (an animal I’d only ever seen in books), perspiration beaded on her forehead. I waited until she was done fixing an antler before I approached her. 

“I just got done scrubbing a gold fence that wasn’t even really gold.” I grumbled, picking up shears to help her.

She snorted, “Yeah, that’s the irony of the Sunland. They pride themselves on their wealth and power and hate the Shadowlanders for their poverty and sickness. Well, all you have to do is look again to see their own sickness.”

I raised my eyebrows. “You’re smart for a kid.”

“I’m a teenager,” she snapped. 

Right. There’s the thirteen-year-old squirt I know. I felt the ghost of a smile play at my lips. “Phil had a child he loved in the Shadowland. I never understood her appeal--she was a weird little six-year-old. She was a Darklander, so I don’t suppose she could really help her obsession with shadows, but --”

“Are you talking about Darcy?” Tanya grinned. “She was a cutie. We were neighbors.”

I couldn’t really imagine that. “You’re a Darklander?”

“We’re not all half-mad, Dan,” she said. “Some of us are rather sane.”

I pursed my lips as she set to work again on her stag shrub. “I’m not sure anyone’s more mad than the Sunlanders.”

Tanya giggled at that, but didn’t respond.


	22. PHIL'S POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil live in a world where wealth is based on how bright your life is. Literally. Dan has never seen anything in a light source brighter than a candle. This is exactly what the nobles want; they brainwash the people of the shadows and teach them that those in the sunlight are martyrs, protecting the poor with their walls casting darkness over their streets. Phil is a member of one of the most prestigious noble families living in the light, but he longs to feel the chilly embrace of the inky blackness below his balcony. When he escapes his world of wealth and meets Dan, he accidentally sets in motion a rebellion that could destroy his world of light. Will he follow his heart and fight beside Dan, or will the call of wealth and power be too strong? The dark ones' time has come to rise from their world of shadows, but at what cost to the light?

The seamstresses bustled around me silently, poking and prodding and measuring. They only had a few hours to make me a suit worthy of the heir to the Sunshine Council’s first chair. Though I would never sit there. Father would kill the Shadowlanders and then he would force Martyn to take the title, no matter how he loathed it. And I would live my life in a cell, only brought out to show the Sunland that I was indeed alive. 

Martyn had visited me that morning, his usual smile gone. “You brought this on yourself, little brother, you know that.”

When I didn’t respond, he sighed and continued, “Let me talk to Father. I’m sure I can get him to let you keep that Shadowlander you love so much.”

“Oh, how kind. Spare one, kill the rest. This is genocide, Martyn,” I said, my voice dry and emotionless. “I will have no part of it.” 

I didn’t tell him what really worried me. I didn’t tell him that I knew Dan would never forgive me if I saved him but let every other Shadowlander die. And Darcy. Darcy would die. She was a child-- a strange one, yes, but a darling one too-- and I couldn’t stomach the thought of her blood spilling.

“What happened to you down there?” Martyn wondered aloud. 

“My shadow blood sang in my veins,” I whispered, almost smiling at the memories. “I became something incredible. I found a man and fell helplessly in love. He’s the reason I’m still here alive. And now you are going to rip that away from me.”

“You understand why we must, little brother,” Martyn said.

“Don’t call me that, Martyn,” I ordered. “I don’t have a brother.”

He left then, his lips turned down into a frown.

And now I was standing in front of a mirror, less than half an hour before I was expected to step into the ballroom in a regal outfit and dance with the Sunlanders. My black hair was gelled until it felt like concrete and my eyes were lined with kohl and dusted with golden powder. Bronzer made my jutting cheekbones slightly more handsome and soft pink cream hid the chapped scars on my lips. And of course, glitter was stamped on my teeth. Because you’re not a rich prick in the Sunland if your teeth don’t look like a fairy took a shit in your mouth. With the little time they had, the seamstresses fitted me with a royal blue silk suit glimmering with sequins along the shoulders. I had to hand it to the stylists-- they took a starving Shadowlander and turned him into a rich Sunlander.

Of course this was the time when my mother decided to enter the room. I saw her in the mirror, dressed in a deep red floor-length silk gown with a plunging neckline and drooping sleeves. Her wrinkles were caked with foundation, but she was still the tired old woman I’d left. 

I turned to face her and she stopped at the far end of the room, wary eyes drinking me in. “What do you want?” I hissed, bristling under her stare.

“Philip,” she murmured. “My sweet baby boy.”

She took a step forward and I took one back. “Don’t come near me.”

“I don’t know what your father told you,” she whispered, “but you’re a Sunlander.”

“I’m not,” I snapped.

“You are!” She cried, trembling. “You might have a Shadowlander father, but you were birthed by the sun. Your first word was ‘light.’ I knew then, Philip, I knew! I knew you were a Sunlander. Your blood runs gold.”

I crossed the room before I knew what I was doing and grabbed her throat in my hand, glaring into her eyes. I growled, “I am a Shadowlander. And if you ever even think of saying that again, I’ll kill you.”

She gasped and I relished the fear in her gaze for a moment before I realized what I was doing. Then, I let her go and strode away. “I want you to leave.”

“I’m your mother,” she said miserably.

“Then save those I love. Surrender to the Shadowland.”

“I can’t,” she said, backing away. “And I wouldn’t even if I could. They are a plague.”

With that she swept from the room and I was left alone to sit and compose myself. A few minutes later, a guard came to escort me to the ballroom. I pulled away from his hand and led the way down the too-bright hallway. 

My father approached me outside the ballroom. “Fuck this up and remember what will happen. The safety of your precious Shadowlanders rests in your hands.”

I stared at him blankly. “You’re going to kill them anyway.”

He smiled, “Yes, but I might let those who surrender live if you do this right. Now, get out there and clean up your mess.”

When I stepped out onto the balcony overlooking the ballroom, the music and chatter stopped instantly. All eyes turned to me and I had to fight the urge to squirm. Some whispered, but stopped and looked back at me when I started talking.

It was the hardest thing for me to do to put conviction in my words. “I’m free from the Shadowland.”

Careful cheers rose from the crowd and I waited for them to quiet down before I mustered up the courage to continue, balling my clammy hands into fists to stop them from shaking. “I was kidnapped by a shadow worker and trafficked to the Shadowland. I was their prisoner and they tortured me for information.” The perfect alibi for my father to stuff down his people’s throats. How better to explain the yellowing bruises on my neck, or the blistering wounds on my wrists? My voice cracked as tears pushed at my eyes, but I forced myself to continue. “I want to thank all of you for coming tonight. The Shadowland is...is…” I found myself fixating on the workers bustling around with food and drinks and mops. They were Shadowlanders, my people. I was betraying them. I choked on a sob as I imagined Dan down there, watching me. I knew he wasn’t, but what would he say? What would he think? 

My sob arose murmurs in the crowd and I forced myself to smile meekly. “Sorry. I’m still a little emotional about it, but don’t worry. My stylists did a great job on my makeup and I’m not about to ruin it.” I gave the crowd time to laugh and continued tiredly. “I can’t help but partly blame myself for this rebellion. After all, I gave them information.” Protests shot up with people shouting that it wasn’t my fault, I was forced, I was kidnapped, I was tortured. I offered them a small smile. “Thank you, friends. But I’m afraid I’m too weak to rule you now. So, I must insist that my brother Martyn Lester take my place as heir to the first chair of the Sunshine Council. He is strong and a good leader, and he will follow our father’s footsteps properly. Thank you for your time, now please enjoy yourselves.”

Cheers rang out as I descended the stairs to join the partying crowd. Music started up and the shadow workers began rushing around in earnest. I took a drink from one of their trays and snuck to the wall, watching people from behind a pillar. If I was forced to talk anymore, I’d die.

Of course, Father found me. He grabbed my arm roughly and pulled me out into the crowd, grinning for his people. He hissed out of the side of his mouth, “Socialize, you little bastard.”

I sighed loudly and obeyed, making my way to a girl on the edge of the crowd. She smiled when I walked up, and her teeth were stamped with glitter. Her eyes were covered in gold cream and her lips were the same shade. Even her dress--a sleeveless thing that left little to imagination with a long slit in the skirt-- was shimmering gold. After living in the Shadowland, I could hardly stand the colour. Why didn’t Sunlanders take advantage of their greater colour possibilities? All the Shadowland clothes were black, brown, or grey. And why not? You can’t see red or green or blue in the dark. But the Sunland insisted on a gold aesthetic. 

The girl took little coaxing to start blabbering. She was from the Michayl family, third seat on the Council. Her older sister was on the Council already at the age of twenty-nine, since her father died young. I could keep her talking with simple head nods and grunts. She couldn’t believe I gave up my chance to get on the Council. It was such a huge opportunity, and who didn’t want to be a leader? She wanted to know all about my time in the Shadowland and how awful it was, but it only took an awkward blank stare for her to change the subject. 

What is it with stags? It’s not like they’re that cool. They’re just deer. At least, that was her opinion on them. And the shadow workers who trimmed her house’s shrubs in dancing stags were slow at it. They talked a lot and didn’t pay close enough attention to detail. The little one, a dark-skinned girl with thin arms and bushy hair, definitely messed up on an antler. And what was with the man? He kept looking up at the Lester house, not that there’s anything wrong with the Lester house. He just kept getting distracted. Oh, what did he look like? She didn’t know. He had brown hair that stuck out and curled all over the place and a handsome nose, if a Shadowlander could be handsome. His eyes? She didn’t dare go outside to see-- the shadow workers weren’t worth her time, and she dared not be seen giving them attention.

I had to walk away before I punched her in the face. I found my brother and clinked my glass against his, offering his wife a wooden smile. I couldn’t for the life of me remember her name. I didn’t bother wondering what that meant. Martyn smiled at me, his teeth glittering (they were also ultra-white besides covered in glitter, so they were impossible to look at). “Good speech, little brother. How are you?”

I matched his grin with my own. My teeth were still yellowed, so the glitter only made them a little shinier. “I am...much better. How are you two tonight?”

Martyn’s wife said airily, “I am well, thank you.”

Martyn took her hand. “Thank you for coming to say hello, little brother, but I must insist that I have this dance with my wife. Perhaps find someone to dance with yourself, Phil. I saw you talking to the Michayl girl over there.”

I laughed, but it was a hollow, sickly sound. “You should know the problem with that proposal.”

“Then find her brother!” Martyn called, already disappearing into the crowd.

“He’s sixteen.” I reminded him.

“Yeah, but he looks twenty.” Martyn said before his wife pulled him to the dance floor.

I was never a dancer before, but now I was having a hard enough time standing. I decided to pass on Martyn’s suggestion. Besides, dancing wasn’t part of the agreement. And even if it was, the Shadowlanders were going to die anyway. What was I doing, trying to make it a little easier on them? 

Suddenly, a man with brown hair swept across the hall. He was in a coat with a long black tail and an embroidered top hat. Before I knew what I was doing, I was pushing through the crowd to get to him. Dan! It’s him! It’s really him!

“Excuse me, sir,” a worker stepped in front of me.

I waved her away, my eyes never wavering from Dan. “No thank you, I don’t want anything.”

“I must insist. You look famished,” she said.

Huffing, I pushed around her and practically ran to the man. But when he turned around and smiled kindly, his teeth coated in glitter, all hope in my heart shriveled up. “Can I help you, sir?”

“No,” I breathed. “Forgive me, I thought you were someone else.” Just in time, I remembered my manners. “How are you enjoying the party?”

He was enjoying the party just fine, so I left him in peace. The worker girl approached me again and I sighed loudly, “What?”

“A thousand pardons, sir, but are you Phil Lester?” She asked.

Her skin was so pale that I could see her purple veins in her eyelids. “I am. Who’s asking?”

She didn’t smile. She hardly even blinked. Instead of answering, she handed me a drink. After she disappeared into the crowd, offering others beverages, I realized I was holding a crumpled napkin. When I opened it, I found writing scrawled on it. After reading it quickly, I wiped my mouth with it and then tore it up and threw it away.

My family was busy talking with other Sunshine Council members, so I was able to slip away. Though it wouldn’t have mattered if they were flanking me the entire night; I’d still get away from them. My Bear was waiting for me.


	23. DAN'S POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil live in a world where wealth is based on how bright your life is. Literally. Dan has never seen anything in a light source brighter than a candle. This is exactly what the nobles want; they brainwash the people of the shadows and teach them that those in the sunlight are martyrs, protecting the poor with their walls casting darkness over their streets. Phil is a member of one of the most prestigious noble families living in the light, but he longs to feel the chilly embrace of the inky blackness below his balcony. When he escapes his world of wealth and meets Dan, he accidentally sets in motion a rebellion that could destroy his world of light. Will he follow his heart and fight beside Dan, or will the call of wealth and power be too strong? The dark ones' time has come to rise from their world of shadows, but at what cost to the light?

The only lucky thing that happened to me all day was that I was sent with a group of workers to go get professionally cleaned up and dressed so that I could be a waiter at the party. In the showers, I was so jumpy I could hardly appreciate the feeling of clean, fresh skin. By the time I was scrubbed and trimmed and dressed (a black suit with gold embroidery), I couldn’t recognise myself in the mirror. My eyes. I’d never seen my eyes in the light before. 

They were boring and brown. 

But if Phil knew that was the first thought I had on the matter, he’d probably kiss each of my eyelids and tell me I was ridiculous.

I’ll have to tell him what I think of my eye colour then. When I get him back, I’m going to do everything I can to touch him as often as possible. I’d get drunk on his scent and his fingers would coax away my pain.

Yet there was still a dark blob at the back of my mind that had grown where P--my brother had once lived. It told me that I was pathetic and Phil didn’t want me back. And it was becoming difficult to ignore it.

But as soon as I was a proper servant, I was put to work and was forced to put Phil and my brother out of my mind. Luckily I didn’t have to cook. Just walking into the kitchen to get trays ready forced me to think of my brother.

Families from the upper chairs showed up early, their noses stuck up in the air as they floated through the hall. I approached a girl covered in gold and silently offered her a drink from my tray, but she wrinkled her nose at me as if I was something stuck the bottom of her shoe and strode away.

Well fuck you too, lady. 

Becky beckoned me to the kitchens and, after getting rid of all the refreshments on my tray so I'd have a reason to go in there, I followed her. Once inside, she filled my tray with new drinks and told me the plan.

Once the hall was brimming with people, I'd have my chance. The guards would be too distracted by the Sunlanders that they wouldn't notice if one little shadow worker disappeared. I'd have to get rid of my tray somewhere outside the ballroom so as not to raise suspicion, and then head upstairs. It was a straight shot to Phil.

And so, when the party was in full swing, I made my way to the edge of the ballroom and slipped into the hallway. As I moved, I caught a glimpse of Phil’s dick of a brother, smiling and clinking glasses with other noble families. I felt red rage creep into my skull, but I forced myself to calm down. Phil needed me. I could take care of Martyn later. 

I set down my tray and bit my lip. I didn't have a weapon. I couldn't fend off any inevitable attack. If I died here, Phil would most certainly be next.

So, with little remorse for the ridiculously expensive glassware, I grabbed a goblet from my tray and smacked it into the wall. The cup part shattered with the tinkle of broken glass and I kicked the shards behind a houseplant. Of course, being the graceful swan that I was, I managed to slice open my hand on the broken wineglass. I cussed under my breath as blood trickled down my fingers from my palm. I brought my wounded hand up to my chest, pressing it against the fabric. It'd ruin the shirt (not that I’d miss it) but it was better than leaving a crimson trail for the Sunlanders to follow. 

Weapon in hand, I crept to a servants’ staircase and crawled to the second floor. I was never great at stealth, but a youth in the streets had managed to teach me a thing or two about hiding in the shadows. The guard didn't even see it coming when I jumped behind him and drove the broken end of the goblet handle into his neck. He made a gurgling noise and collapsed into my arms. I dragged the body behind a pillar and yanked the makeshift dagger out. Hot blood sprayed me in the face before I could hop out of the way and I hissed, biting back an indignant shout. When he was done spewing, I removed the gun from his belt. I prayed a silent thank you to whoever was listening for the silencer on the end of it. I checked the ammo and then slid it into my belt. Not enough bullets to be flamboyant, but enough for an emergency. Hopefully my goblet handle would be enough. 

I had to take out two more guards before I could get to the next staircase. The first went down with a stab in the temple, but the second saw me execute him and attacked before I could even pull my wannabe dagger out of the other guy’s head. I twisted around, a bullet whistling past my ear, and kicked her away with all my strength, which wasn't necessarily much. She did stumble back, though, and I pulled my weapon out of the dead guard’s skull with a wet pop. Suddenly, a soft bang echoed in my ears and a searing pain tore through my shoulder. 

“SWEET BABY JESUS ON A MOTHERFUCKING BOAT,” I shrieked, forgetting for a moment that I was supposed to be stealthy.

The guard grinned and reloaded her gun. I had enough time to run to her, though, and push the goblet handle into her eye. She screamed and then fell silent, slumping backward and sliding off the blood-soaked glass. 

Hopefully Phil wasn't hoping for a kiss hello. He'd probably punch me if I tried to put my bloodstained face anywhere near his, anyway.

And then, after my adrenaline started to subside, I remembered there was a bullet in my left shoulder. Of course it had to be my left. I hesitantly brought my hand up to check it. Blood squelched beneath my fingers and I sucked in a breath as my shoulder screamed in pain. I pulled off my jacket and haphazardly tied it around the wound. I experimentally moved my arm and immediately regretted it.

“Fuck,” I muttered, shifting my goblet handle to my right hand.

I gritted my teeth and dragged myself up the staircase to the third floor, praying that there wouldn't be many more guards to fight. 

It seemed all my luck dissipated with that near-death experience downstairs. I rounded the corner and quickly leapt back onto the staircase, pressing myself up against the wall.

Years of fighting on the streets, don't fail me now. 

I squeezed my eyes shut and focused on the task at hand, doing my best to ignore the pain in my shoulder. The next floor up was mine. Phil was there. I could do it. 

With this thought at the front of my mind, I rounded the corner and pulled out the gun from my belt. Before the nearest guard could react, I shot him in the chest. The next fell just as quickly, but the others finally noticed me. One ran to the alarm, but just as his hand touched it, my bullet found his brain. Someone drove their elbow into my back and I stumbled forward, hissing as my shoulder jerked. I swung around and knocked the guard in the head. He cried out and staggered a few steps, giving me time to shoot him before turning and dodging a swing from the last guard. I brought my gun up and he froze. I straightened shakily. “Do exactly as I say or die.” 

The guard nodded warily and I ordered, “Drop your weapon, get on your knees, and put your hands over your head. In that order, slowly.”

He obeyed and I searched his pockets. “Who has a key to the cells?” 

The guard snorted. “There's not a key.”

“Then what do you use?” I demanded.

“Fingerprint,” he said.

“Does yours work?”

“Why would I tell you?” 

“Because I'm going to turn you into a smear on the floor if you don't,” I snapped. I felt ill saying such things, not to mention being covered in Sunlander blood, but I had no choice. I had to get to Phil. I had to save him. The guard shuddered but didn't budge. I sighed and took out the goblet handle. “Please tell me. It's important.”

“I bet it is to you. You're a shadow rebel. You want to destroy us because we aren't sick and disgusting like you.” 

I didn't hesitate when I drove the glass into his leg. He screamed and I punched his head. “Not a word. Wouldn't want any of your extremely healthy and not-disgusting friends to hear you, now would we?”

He whimpered. Actually whimpered, the fuckface. 

I dragged him to his feet and pulled him up the stairs. “I don't care if your prints don't work. You're going to open each locked door until I find what I came here for or I'm going to kill you.”

But it didn't take as long as expected. Every door was unlocked and the rooms spotless and empty. All except one, and I knew my Phil would be in there. I shoved the guard towards it roughly. “Work you magic.”

The guard scowled, but obeyed. He was lucky his prints worked. I wasn't above forcing him to chop off the hand of a guard who could open the door and press it against the sensor. But his hand worked and he pushed the door open. I pointed my gun at his head. “If I so much as hear you breathe out of turn, I'm going to light you up like a flashlight.”

He snickered, but didn't say anything. It seemed he did value his other leg. I turned and slowly crept into the cell. It was dark, as dark as the dark districts, and my eyes were too used to the light to see well enough. I called softly, “Phil?” 

No one answered, so I braved a few more steps into the cell. “Sweetheart? Philip?”

Once I was out of the light of the hallway, I could see better. I hated the thought of Phil trapped in this room. A dark splotch on the cot caught my eye and I approached it warily.

Dried blood.

I stumbled back, gagging. Phil. I was too late.

“Shit,” I whispered, and then I screamed, “Fucking shit! No! Goddamn it!”

A siren suddenly went off, but I was a thousand kilometres away. My body stood and moved to the door to find the guard punching the alarm. My arm lifted my gun and blasted a hole into his chest. He dropped immediately, but it was too late. My body slowly turned and sauntered back into Phil’s cell, quietly shutting the door. My legs carried my body to Phil’s bed and I laid down, my head on the blood.

I was reawakened in my own mind with only one thought. 

How poetically tragic it would be to mix my blood with his, to die on the very bed he did.


	24. PHIL'S POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil live in a world where wealth is based on how bright your life is. Literally. Dan has never seen anything in a light source brighter than a candle. This is exactly what the nobles want; they brainwash the people of the shadows and teach them that those in the sunlight are martyrs, protecting the poor with their walls casting darkness over their streets. Phil is a member of one of the most prestigious noble families living in the light, but he longs to feel the chilly embrace of the inky blackness below his balcony. When he escapes his world of wealth and meets Dan, he accidentally sets in motion a rebellion that could destroy his world of light. Will he follow his heart and fight beside Dan, or will the call of wealth and power be too strong? The dark ones' time has come to rise from their world of shadows, but at what cost to the light?

Dan left a trail of Sunlander bodies in his wake. I ran up the stairs, but I was already too late on the second floor. I was halfway up the stairs to the third floor when the alarms suddenly started blaring. I hesitated, but the shouting on the floors beneath me sent me sprinting up the next two floors to the fourth. I spun around in a panic, screaming, “Dan?! Dan!”

Nothing. A guard lay dead in front of the alarm, covered in blood. I jerked open the first cell door I came to, praying he would be there. “Dan?”

And then the next, all the while screaming my Bear’s name. After four doors, I could clearly hear footsteps right beneath me. I clutched at my hair, screaming Dan’s name wildly. 

Then, I glanced at a shiny streak of red on the floor. I followed its trail with my eyes and ended at the door to my cell.

Of course.

I ran to the door and yanked at the handle. It was locked, so I started banging on it. “Dan! Please, sweet bear, it's Phil, let me in!” 

No response. I spun around and lunged to the guard’s body. I grabbed his arm and slung it over my shoulder, dragging him to the door. By the time I was back at the cell, I was heaving and my healing head wound was pounding. But I managed to press the guard’s stiff hand to the sensor. Relief flooded me as it lit up green and the door clicked. I shoved it open and a bullet suddenly whizzed by my ear. I hissed in a breath of surprise and, seeing a horde of guard running up the stairs, quickly shut the door. I grabbed a chair and blocked it shut before stumbling away. I could hear bodies slamming into the door once they found unlocking it wouldn't work, but I sat up and decided it was safe to ignore them for the time being. I slowly turned around and whispered, “Dan?”

And then I saw him. Lying on my cot, his head buried in my pool of dried blood. I sighed in immense relief and fell to the cold concrete beside the cot. A smile spread across my face, “Dan, my sweet baby bear, I’m here.”

“You’re here,” he repeated dully.

“Yes, sweetheart, I’m here. I’m okay, you’re okay,” I promised. But when my eyes fell to search his body, I found that that wasn’t quite the case. “Baby bear, my sweet love, you’re hurt.”

His eyes, still glazed, fell down onto his lap. “I’m hurt.”

I suddenly saw the gun in his hand-- its position-- and knew exactly what it meant. “Dan, I’m here. I’m alive, you don’t have to fight anymore,” I said hoarsely.

I reached for him and he jolted up, pressing the tip of the barrel to his temple. Dan, my sweet, sweet Dan, was holding a gun to his own head, his eyes wild and hopeless. He gasped, “You’re not real. You’re just some figment of my imagination. You’re not here, goddamn it! Let me die! Why can’t you just let me die?”

“No, Dan,” I begged, grabbing at the gun. He pulled it back tiredly from my reach and I felt a sob choke my throat. “Dan, I swear to you, I’m really here. Sweet baby, please believe me. Dan! I love you, Dan, I swear it’s true!”

We were both shaking, and I realized with a start that he was crying, too. I whispered, the banging against the door getting increasingly louder, “I love you, Dan. I know you might not, but I do. I need you. I know you’re hurt in ways I might never be able to heal, but please don’t leave without giving me the chance. I’m real, Dan. I’m alive and I’m with you. I’m sorry I left and I’m sorry I worried you and I’m sorry I put you in this position. I’m sorry you’ve been hurt for me. Oh god, I’m so sorry, baby bear. Please don’t leave.” 

A long moment passed and I almost screamed. Was he even hearing me? Or was his mind a thousand leagues away, in the depths of hell or the ends of the earth? Did he know I was real and tangible and if he would just let me touch him, I could anchor him here and never let him lose himself again? I opened my mouth to speak, but Dan miraculously woke up. He flung himself forward, rocketing into my chest. I wrapped my arms around his trembling body and twisted my fingers in his hair. He was real. He was here. He was alive and he was with me. 

I knew better than to think our love could keep him afloat forever. He had to live for himself, not for me. But for now, it was enough. For now, he was in my arms and wailing and soaking my shirt with blood, not that I cared in the slightest. I began to pet his hair, relishing in its silkiness. It was in matted curls, but it was somehow still the softest thing I’d ever touched. 

And of course, that was when the chair blocking the door shattered.

Dan’s eyes widened when he realized what was happening, but I didn’t have time to think. I spun around, flinging myself to guard his fragile form, and grabbed the gun out of his hand. Without thinking, I began to shoot.

It didn’t last long, obviously. There was one of me and at least twelve guards. I only got to four of them before I ran out of ammunition. The remaining guards swarmed around Dan and I. I shouted indignantly, swinging my fists in a last-ditch effort, and made contact with a few faces before a sharp blow to the head made the cell go black.

***

I woke up beside Dan, which was good. He was bloodstained and his eyes looked sunken in the dim light. He stared silently at me and I offered him a weak smile. It’s okay, sweetheart. We’ll get through this, whatever “this” is. I turned my head forward and immediately saw red. “Father.”

The man smiled. “Philip.” His eyes snaked to Dan and he grinned wickedly. “And the whore who started it all.”

Dan didn’t speak. He simply stared unblinkingly back at my father. I ran a hand through my fringe and started. “We’re not tied down.”

My father laughed, “Of course not, why would you be? You wouldn’t dare attack me.” I fell mute and the tyrant stood calmly. “Phil, it saddens me that you couldn’t just do as you were told. Your little slut could have been kept alive. But you decided to disobey.”

“That’s a lie,” I hissed. “You were going to kill the Shadowlanders no matter what. You disgust me.”

“Good,” he smirked. “You disgust me too.”

I dropped my gaze down to the table and found myself looking at the same pen from the first time I was in here. It was shiny and sharp and wonderful. 

My father turned his gaze to Dan now. “You’re the one that started all this trouble, huh? You seem kind of pathetic now. Like I could do this”-- he lunged forward and slapped Dan across the face-- “and you would just go along with it.”

Red blurred my vision. “Don’t touch him.”

My father smiled. “Touch him? I plan on doing so much more, Phil. I plan on hurting him until he’s even more broken than every Shadowlander already is.”

With that, he raised his fist. Dan, for his part, stared indignantly up at him. He didn’t even flinch, my strong baby bear, not even when the man started to swing. 

Suddenly, the floor convulsed violently. My father lurched to the side before whipping his head around. “What the fuck?” 

I didn’t hesitate. I didn’t even hardly think. Before I fully understood what I was doing, I grabbed the fountain pen from the table and jammed it deep up under his jaw.

It was actually rather anticlimactic how the first member of the Council died. His eyes widened and his mouth started gaping open and shut like a fish. I almost laughed at how ridiculous he looked, grappling at the pen that was hanging out of his neck. It flopped, blood spraying out around it. It took awhile for him to actually fall, though. First, his eyes flashed with confusion and he reached toward me. I stepped away, pulling Dan to my side. The man began to gurgle, his teeth red, and choke on his own blood. He tripped over himself and fell backwards, cracking his head on the desk. When he finally dropped to the floor, his eyes were glassy and bloodshot. 

He was the first man I’d ever killed. Hopefully the last, but I knew I couldn’t make such a wish in wartime. I had just killed the theoretical monarch of the Sunland. 

And then I realized. I would have to kill again, at least once. For though Martyn was next in line, he had no heir of his own. He’d quickly jump onto the Council and all of this would be for nothing. I tugged at Dan and he snapped his attention from the corpse of my father to me. He croaked, “Messy business.”

I smiled humourlessly and leaned down to tug the pen out of my father’s neck. Blood exploded from the wound, spraying my shoes and pants. I gagged and jumped back, shuddering. Dan took my hand and squeezed it. But he was trembling and I had just enough time to catch him before his knees buckled. He hissed in a breath when I accidentally touched his shoulder and I squeaked an apology, quickly moving from his bullet wound. “We have to get you to the Shadowlanders. Do you know where they are?”

Dan shook his head weakly. His face was even paler than normal, if that was possible. After grabbing my father’s gun from his belt, I kissed Dan’s forehead and pulled him up into my arms, wrapping his legs around my waist and his good arm around my shoulder. I cradled his wounded arm against my chest and he stiffened and whimpered as I situated him. He whispered, “I’m fine, Phil. You don’t have to carry me.”

“I’m not going to let you die just because you’re too proud to let me help you,” I snapped, sliding my arms under his butt with the gun in hand.

He rested his head against my shoulder and I kicked the door open, looking around the hallway frantically. But I was disappointed-- it was empty. I crept down the hall hesitantly, gripping the gun in a hard fist.

Dan’s breathing was becoming more and more shallow as I slipped down the hall. I hugged him tighter to me, silently begging him to stay awake, to stay with me. 

When we descended to the third floor, I began to hear shouts and gunshots from below. The tiles beneath my feet shook with every boom and I stopped, weighing my options. I finally carried Dan to an alcove behind a houseplant and gently sat him down. His eyes were fluttering shut, but I grabbed his face and forced him to look at me. I whispered, “I’m going to go see what’s happening downstairs. Stay here, and whatever you do, stay awake.”

He nodded, gasping in small breaths. I stood and slid out of the alcove, only to be bombarded by Sunland guards. They were running up to the fourth floor, but stopped when they saw me. I cursed softly (just “crap”, I wouldn’t say anything too bad outloud) and lifted my gun, firing two shots before they could react to my presence. But two bullets could only penetrate two guards, so the rest were quick to yank out their own guns and take aim. I fired again before rolling behind the houseplant. Bullets whizzed past my ears and I motioned frantically for Dan to get down. He obeyed, grimacing in pain, and I leaned out from my hiding spot to fire three more times. The guards’ bullets ricocheted off the stone of the plant’s pot, but I knew it’d crack eventually. They didn’t yet know Dan was back here. I had to go somewhere else. 

Dan seemed to sense what I was about to do and grabbed my wrist weakly. I glanced down at him and he shook his head, blinking slowly. I smiled and kissed his lips, murmuring quickly, “I love you, Bear. No matter what, stay back here.”

“You’ll kill us,” he whimpered, and that almost stopped me.

I cupped his cheek, bullets still whistling around us. “You are strong, Dan. I know you think you can’t do it, but you can. And who knows? I might survive this. All that matters now is that you stay alive. You are the face of the revolution.”

“Jessica--”

“Has done her part, but she’s nothing compared to you. The Shadowland needs you,” I persisted.

Dan’s hand fell and he squeezed his eyes shut. Before he could open them and melt me with his eyes, I dove out of the alcove and sprinted to a couch a few metres away. Bullets flew around my ears and I blindly fired behind me, hopefully hitting someone. A guard let out a cry of pain and I offered myself a victorious smile before rolling behind the couch. 

I was doomed, that much was certain. I’d get peppered with brass and then I’d die. But that didn’t matter. All that mattered was that Dan would live. He would crawl out after this battle and get patched up by the Shadowlanders and then lead the revolution to a beautiful victory. He didn’t think he was strong enough, but I knew he was.

So with only Dan on my mind, I launched upward and fired at the guards. 

But either I was a really good shot or I had someone else on my side helping me because there were more guards falling than there were bullets I was shooting. Suddenly, Jessica launched herself up the stairs, followed by Chris and Louise and a few people I didn’t recognise as anything more than Shadowlanders. They ran into the guards, guns blazing, and I whooped, pumping my fist in the air and running out of hiding.

Of course, I was then hit. In the head. I think. That’s where the searing pain blossomed, at least.

***

It was quiet. Someone was moving me, but I couldn’t quite see anything but blurs. 

“Dan,” I croaked.

The person stopped. “What?”

“Dan,” I repeated, and pushed the stranger away from me and got up. 

“Phil, you need to get down! You’re badly hurt--”

“Dan!” I shouted, and teetered as a wave a nausea hit me. 

I collapsed to my knees and ended up crawling the rest of the way to the alcove hiding him. I used the last of whatever adrenaline-fueled strength I had to shove the houseplant out of the way and collapse on top of him.

Dan. My baby bear. My sweet, unbelievable boy. 

I’m here, sweet baby. I’m never leaving you again.


	25. BECKY'S POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil live in a world where wealth is based on how bright your life is. Literally. Dan has never seen anything in a light source brighter than a candle. This is exactly what the nobles want; they brainwash the people of the shadows and teach them that those in the sunlight are martyrs, protecting the poor with their walls casting darkness over their streets. Phil is a member of one of the most prestigious noble families living in the light, but he longs to feel the chilly embrace of the inky blackness below his balcony. When he escapes his world of wealth and meets Dan, he accidentally sets in motion a rebellion that could destroy his world of light. Will he follow his heart and fight beside Dan, or will the call of wealth and power be too strong? The dark ones' time has come to rise from their world of shadows, but at what cost to the light?

The attack on the Sunshine Estates was reckless. Many Shadowlanders died, but even more Sunlanders were felled by the rebels. In the end, Jessica found the head of the Sunshine Council lying in an interrogation room, blood still oozing from his neck. She stepped out to meet the weary crowd of soldiers and cried that the tyrant was dead, the tyrant was dead. Soon the cry rang out throughout the Sun- and Shadowlands. 

Or so I’ve heard. I wasn’t around for the siege of the Lester house. I was going to the market to pick up more wine with another shadow worker woman I didn’t even know the name of. It all happened so fast, by the time we returned Jessica was standing out on a balcony over a cheering crowd with her arms raised, the amulet of the head of the Sunshine Council held high in her hands. It was still tainted with drops of the dead tyrant’s blood.

But Tanya had been there, and she’d excitedly told me about it when she found me. She had hid in the kitchen, but she was able to spy on the action in the ballroom. The Shadowlanders, led by Jessica, barged in. Chaos ensued, but Jessica shouted orders about sparing civilians. That didn’t mean the Sunshine Council was spared. They were weeded out and arrested immediately, and then Jessica, Louise, and Chris took a squadron up the stairs to seize the rest of the Lester house.

I hadn’t seen Jessica since that night. She looked different. She looked wild. Victorious. Her hair was in intricate braids down her back and her forehead, like all the Shadowland soldiers, was branded with Dan’s sigil. 

Dan was in bad shape now. He and Phil both. Apparently they were found practically knotted around each other, passed out. As new national heroes-- Phil for killing the tyrant and Dan for starting the revolution-- they were treated in the Sunland infirmary. Turned out that lots of Sunlanders pitied the Shadowlanders, and even more hated the Sunshine Council. As far as most were concerned, it was a win-win situation. The Sunland doctors were constantly guarded by Shadowlanders as they healed our heroes, but they worked tirelessly until they were both in stable condition, though still unconscious.

They shared a room. Their beds were pressed as close together as they could get without hindering the doctors’ work. Jessica wouldn’t have it any other way, apparently. 

The entire nation, Shadow- and Sunland together, seemed to be sitting in a state of waiting. I doubted anyone knew what for, but there we were. Sitting. Waiting. Tanya convinced me to start a workers’ revolt, but it really wasn’t much of a revolution. The Sunlanders were tired and beaten down. They practically threw our freedom at us. But even reunions with family and friends weren’t filled with laughter and tears. Sure, former workers found their loved ones, but it was a quiet occasion. No laughter. No singing. No dancing in the streets. I guess the Shadowlanders were tired, too.

I still hadn’t seen Jessica. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t hurt. Even Louise had taken the time to find me and say hello. She’d left soon after, busy organising the Darklanders and deciding what to do with her people, but when I asked if Jessica was okay, she offered me an idea of her whereabouts. 

And so here I stood, in front of her tent at the crumbled wall. It still amazed me to look up at it, the behemoth that once controlled our lives, reduced to rubble. With a heaving breath, I squared my shoulders and entered the tent.

It was dim inside, the only light from the sun filtering through the burlap. Jessica sat at a desk, and for the first time she looked deflated. She waved her hand when she heard me enter without looking up. “I’m sorry, but I need to, uh, work some things out. I’m...busy. Please seek out Louise Pentland or Chris Howell.”

I couldn’t help but smile. “My problem lies with you, I’m afraid.”

Jessica froze for a moment before looking up, trembling slightly. “Becky,” she breathed. “You’re-- you’re here.”

“Of course I am, silly,” I answered as she stumbled around her desk and launched into my arms.

And there it was. The touch I’d been craving for weeks...months...god, I don’t know anymore. I molded around Jessica’s curves effortlessly, as I always had. She sighed contentedly into my matted hair and buried her face in the crook of my neck. I grinned despite myself and squeezed her harder.

God, she was perfect. She was so, so perfect. I giggled and inhaled deeply. She smelled of salt and sweat, but it wasn’t an unpleasant odor. It was a Jessica smell, so it was perfect like her.

Maybe I was just a cheesy girlfriend, I don’t know. I don’t really care, either.

Jessica leaned back, a smirk playing at her lips. I raised my eyebrows, “I know that look. What are y--hey!” She lifted me off the ground and swung me around her, laughing with her head thrown back. It was contagious and I found myself joining in despite myself. “Jessica! Put me down!”

But I was laughing as I said it, so she didn’t take me seriously. Instead, she swung us faster until we finally fell in a tangled mess of limbs on the ground. It hurt and I was pretty sure she kicked me on the way down (accidentally, of course) but I couldn’t bring myself to care. I was finally with Jessica.

When the initial euphoria of reunion subsided, she pulled me to my feet and led me to the desk. “Come see what we’ve accomplished.”

I stood beside her, fearing that if I was too far away she’d disappear. She gestured to different areas on a giant map of the city, pointing out the Sunshine Estates-- which were serving as prisons for the Sunshine Council, with Shadowland patrols filling the streets-- and the streets they’d successfully taken over. The Sunland was a giant hill with the districts moving higher up based on wealth and social class. The south and west were successfully taken over, but part of the east and all of the north still needed conquering. Unfortunately, the north was where most of the Sunland loyalists lived. Revolts had been sparking up-- though quickly squashed by Shadowland forces-- throughout the week. But Jessica was confident that with the Sunshine Council all but disbanded, the rest of the Sunland would soon be taken. She hoped to put a Shadowlander in charge of the Sunshine Council. Martyn? Martyn was in the Shadowland, in a cell in the deepest part of the Darkland, under constant watch. The north of the Sunland would demand he take his father’s place as the rightful heir, but Jessica was going to wait for Dan and Phil to wake up before she decided what to do with him. Besides, she pointed out, he was Phil’s brother. Phil should get some say in what happens. 

And what about Phil? Would he become a part of the new Sunshine Council? Of course he would. He would tell his story to the Sunlanders, he would teach them the lies the Sunshine Council had been spewing for generations, and replace them with truths. Shadowlanders weren’t sick. They were people, like the Sunlanders. They were equal, and it was time they were treated as such. Some Sunlanders might not like that. Social segregation would probably still exist between Sunlanders and Shadowlanders for years to come. But, Jessica said with a smile, it would be worth it. Just think of the future generations of Shadowlanders and Sunlanders that wouldn’t be called either of those terms; they would just called people. It would be difficult. But a man like Phil would be needed in these times. And Dan would stand by his and Jessica’s side, but only if he was mentally healthy enough. Jessica understood what it was like to lose someone, and she was staring at me as she spoke. 

I took her hand. “There’s time to figure everything out. It’ll be hard, but you made it this far.”

“And now the shadow workers are free,” Jessica said, and her voice was exhausted.

“Yeah,” I said, gazing at her.

“You’re free,” she whispered, gazing back.


	26. DAN'S POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil live in a world where wealth is based on how bright your life is. Literally. Dan has never seen anything in a light source brighter than a candle. This is exactly what the nobles want; they brainwash the people of the shadows and teach them that those in the sunlight are martyrs, protecting the poor with their walls casting darkness over their streets. Phil is a member of one of the most prestigious noble families living in the light, but he longs to feel the chilly embrace of the inky blackness below his balcony. When he escapes his world of wealth and meets Dan, he accidentally sets in motion a rebellion that could destroy his world of light. Will he follow his heart and fight beside Dan, or will the call of wealth and power be too strong? The dark ones' time has come to rise from their world of shadows, but at what cost to the light?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy sh*t how long has it been? I'm so so sorry, guys! I hate authors who don't post chapters for weeks on end!
> 
> Cue the hypocrisy, I know, I know.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy the last chapter of this wild ride!

An angel was gazing at me when I opened my eyes, and considering I was surrounded by nothing but white and him, I was almost certain I was dead. But how did I make it to heaven? Would Pj be here? Would Phil?

And then my eyes focused in the bright light and I saw that there really was an angel beside me. How could such a gorgeous creature exist? Moreover, how could he be mine?

I always knew Phil was beautiful. But what was simply beautiful in the dark was breathtakingly stunning in the light. His hair was black as pitch and gleamed in the light, as if he had a halo. 

He offered me a hand and good thing, too, because I was about to accept that I had indeed died and was doomed to stare at this perfect specimen for the rest of eternity. I reached over and grabbed his waiting hand and it was so soft and perfect in mine that I wanted to cry.

There were stitches and yellowing bruises along his wrist. I vaguely wondered what the wounds were from, but then I looked up from our hands to his eyes. 

I felt the insistent urge to leap into their deep pools and drown in him. Those eyes shouldn’t even be legal. They were blue, but they were also green, and it seemed like bits of sunlight had fallen from the sky and into his irises. They were a molten ocean, and I was trapped in his gaze.

Seeing Phil, actually seeing him, for the first time was like falling in love all over again. 

He voiced my thoughts when he murmured, “I love you.”

I wanted him to say it again. I wanted to watch his perfect lips form the words. I wanted to see his Adam’s apple bob in his throat as he spoke. I wanted to watch his eyes spark lovingly as he said the words. 

“Say it again,” I blurted, and blushed.

He released my hand and pressed the backs of his fingers to my cheek. Softer this time, hardly even a breath, he said, “I love you.”

I smiled, “I love you too.”

And then I remembered, and Phil saw it in my face. His hand fell from my cheek to my hand again. “I’m here, Dan. It’s not enough, but I will do whatever it takes.”

I turned my face back up to the ceiling. “Pj is dead.”

“Yes,” Phil whimpered.

“Because of me.”

“No,” he said harshly. “That’s a lie.”

I looked back at him and something in his expression stopped whatever protest I had at the tip of my tongue. Instead of arguing, I whispered, “Okay.”

I dropped his hand and looked back up at the ceiling. Phil’s bed creaked and I glanced over to find him brushing off his blankets and pushing himself up. “What are you doing?” I croaked.

He didn’t respond, only pushed himself to his feet and stumbled to my bed, laying down and curling his body around me. As usual, he was as warm as the sun. I hummed against him and squeezed my eyes shut. I drifted into a medicine-induced sleep, eyelids too heavy to open.

Phil shifted against me, pulling me closer. “No,” his voice drifted through my ears. “I won’t.”

A stranger’s voice said something, but it was too quiet for me to hear. It seemed like I was listening to the conversation underwater, and the only reason I could hear Phil was because he was right beside me. Phil spoke again, his chest rumbling against my cheek, “I’m not moving.”

Moving? Who was trying to make him move?

I still couldn’t open my eyes. What was worse, I felt unconsciousness threaten to overtake me again. I was pressed so tightly to Phil that I could hardly breathe, and his arms were pinning me down so I couldn’t pull away even if I wanted to. But I didn’t, so instead I forced my leaded legs to curl around his hips and my arms to snake around his torso. I could feel Phil hesitate as I moved, but I couldn’t force myself to wake up. Phil said quietly, “I’m not going to leave him. Not ever again.”

There was a long pause and I feared he really did move and I just didn’t feel him untangle my limbs. But then the stranger’s voice said something and Phil sighed, relaxing around me. “Thank you.” 

Only when I was sure the conversation was over did I let myself fall back asleep.

The hospital took me off the morphine drip after two days and I was able to finally sit up. My shoulder still hurt like a motherfucker, but it was bearable. Phil was up the day we initially woke up, the lucky bastard.

Which, apparently, was exactly what he was. A bastard. He told me when I woke up the second time, his eyes oddly cold and distant. I only gazed at him. It made sense. He was a perfect specimen, not to be confined to the cultures of either land. So, he was born a part of both. That’d make his election into the new Council easier for Shadowlanders to swallow.

Phil was also out of bed before me, his side all stitched up and his head bandages removed. I was stuck in the hospital for another few days as the Sunland nurses made sure I wasn’t going to off myself the next chance I had. Phil probably told them about my new suicidal tendencies. I guess I would thank him one day, but this was not that day. 

But my boyfriend didn’t leave my side, even when he was discharged. The nurse came in and told him he could leave, and all he did was change (in the room in front of me, as if he wanted me to have a heart attack) and then sit on the edge of my bed, taking my hand in his. Even when Jessica came and told us what all had transpired while we were out, he refused to go with her. She frowned and opened her mouth to argue, but she must have seen something in his face that told her to do otherwise. Phil had said, “The new government can wait, if it’s really that important that I’m there. Dan started all this. He needs to be there too.”

I tried to convince him to go once she’d left, but he wouldn’t have it. “I’m not leaving you, Dan,” he said. “So stop trying to get rid of me.”

So I stopped, and focused on getting better so I could leave the damn hospital. 

Phil eventually did have to leave, for Jessica said the people couldn’t wait. That’s what we were officially called now, I guess. Not Shadowlanders, Darklanders, or Sunlanders. Just people. It was weird to think like that. I’d been a Shadowlander my entire life. My brothers were Shadowlanders. Now we were supposed to be one with the Sunlanders and forget past transgressions. That was the only way peace could be achieved, Jessica had explained. They were cruel to us, we went to war, and we won. We now needed to try to move forward.

I could only see Pj’s body splattered across the rubble of the wall, shot down by Sunland drones. Jessica assured me that the drones were destroyed, but it didn’t change the damage they’d already done. Pj was dead. And with him, a piece of me.

But I did my best to do as Jessica said. Phil still came by as much as he could, but he was to be the first chair of the new Council. He wasn’t just appointed, he was elected by the people, both Sunlanders and Shadowlanders alike. He would joke with me how it should be me up there, but we both knew that wasn’t true. I hated the Sunland too much now. I didn’t want to, I wanted to learn to forgive them. But whenever I tried, Pj’s corpse flashed across my mind.

Phil came in the day before I was to be released, his eyes tired. I asked what happened, and he said dryly, “Louise was assassinated.”

I couldn’t say I was exactly surprised. She hated the Sunland and was always vocal about it. The north still wasn’t completely conquered, and Phil said rebels from up there did it. They would be executed for their crimes, but Darcy had no one now. She was alone, like us. But then, we had each other. Phil’s expression wordlessly pleaded with me as he spoke, and I couldn’t help but smile humourlessly. “If you want the child, Phil,” I said, “then have her. No one else will take care of her like you will.”

“I want you to be there with me,” he said calmly. “We could be a family. Imagine it! You as Daddy and me as Papa.”

“I can hardly take care of myself right now,” I pointed out.

Phil sighed, “Please, just think about it. Chris would be a wonderful uncle for her, and you’d be such an amazing father. You’re so loving, so wonderful.”

I wished he didn’t see me like that. I wished he saw me as a broken, beaten animal like I did.

He helped me stand and change, though I tried to convince him not to. I could dress myself. He said he didn’t want me falling, but I knew he also didn’t want to leave me alone.

We had our own flat together. The Sunshine Estates had been turned into a series of apartments while I was in the hospital to make room for the Shadowlanders, but apparently most of the Darklanders went back to the Shadowland. They tasted the light and decided it wasn’t for them. 

The second I stepped out into the warm sun and felt it kiss my skin, I knew I could never go back to the cold dark land of before.

Darcy greeted us as we walked out the door hand in hand, skipping forward and bringing me a crown she’d made of flowers and weeds. I could feel Phil’s stare on me as I let her place it on my head and then offered her my other hand. She hesitated, then squeezed it and demanded Phil let her on his shoulders. 

Shadowland guards marched the streets and stood on roofs with guns cradled in their arms. Phil stiffened his grip on me when I first noticed them, as if he could protect me from the aftermath of our war. 

Darcy didn’t ask what she was going to do without her mother. Hell, she didn’t even look very sad. When Phil dared ask her about it, she simply shrugged and said, “She’s with the shadows now. I’ll see her whenever I play with them.”

I gazed at her quietly. If such a small, innocent child could find her happiness again, couldn’t I come back too? 

Phil caught me staring at Darcy and I could tell he was wondering the same thing.


End file.
